This post contains some of the best quotes about avoidance.
What Is Avoidance Coping?
Avoidance coping refers to the set of behaviors or actions that individuals use as a means of avoiding or escaping from stressful, challenging, or uncomfortable situations.
Avoidance coping can take many different forms, such as procrastination, denial, distraction, substance abuse, withdrawal from social activities, among others.
While avoidance coping may provide temporary relief from stress or discomfort, it is generally not an effective long-term solution and can lead to further negative consequences in the future.
In contrast, problem-solving coping strategies, such as seeking social support or engaging in activities that address the source of stress, tend to be more effective in managing stress and promoting well-being.
Quotes About Avoidance
1. “Whether you are aware of it or not, avoidance plays a major role in your life, and it has for some time. In some cases, it was probably for the best. As a child, you were told “Don’t talk to strangers” or “Don’t swim 30 minutes after eating” or “Don’t eat food that fell on the floor.”” – Daniel Gros
2. “The distress that you are feeling is real and strong. But as your avoidance of activities that cause you distress keeps you at home or away from things that are important to you, it also is moving you further and further away from life. At this point in your story, avoidance, isolation, and withdrawal are winning —and you are losing.” – Daniel Gros
3. “Negative emotions are not the real villain; rather, it is when the person chooses avoidance and isolation to cope with the negative emotions that bigger problems are likely to arise.” – Daniel Gros
4. “Essentially, the person is taking a step back from the world around them, including both the stressful things (difficulty with paying bills after job loss) and potentially healthy things (support from family members after losing a loved one) in their life.” – Daniel Gros
5. “The more someone pulls away, the worse they feel; and, the worse they feel, the more they want to pull away. This is when avoidance takes over.” – Daniel Gros
Related: Top 10 Practical CBT Exercises For Generalized Anxiety Disorder Relief
6. “..over time the avoidance and negative emotions eventually become so severe that although the initial event or reason for the initial avoidance may have become a little unclear (perhaps you’ve gotten over the breakup with your boyfriend), the cycle of negative emotions and avoidance continues, each reinforcing the other (so you don’t start dating again, you avoid friends with or without significant relationships, and you don’t bother going downtown any more, all leading to increased depression and loneliness).” – Daniel Gros
7. “Fortunately, you don’t have to identify a specific cause in order to treat your negative emotions and avoidance, although it may be helpful to understanding the original source.” – Daniel Gros
8. “Avoidance and isolation are natural reactions to negative emotions, such as depression, anxiety, fear, and anger.” – Daniel Gros
9. “Why do we turn to avoidance to cope with our negative emotions? Well, although avoidance is associated with a lot of negatives, we can certainly generate positive feelings through avoidance and isolation.” – Daniel Gros
10. “Put simply, sometimes it may feel better to avoid.” – Daniel Gros
11. “The short-term benefits of avoiding and isolating frequently lead to problems, and in the long term they prevent finding a real solution. But the short-term comfort and relief is how your avoidance tricks you into following the path into a darker place (negative emotions).” – Daniel Gros
12. “The tricky thing about avoidance is that it often comes with immediate short-term positives, but over time it ultimately traps you.” – Daniel Gros
13. “Remember, it is what you do that really matters and affects how you are feeling. It is what you are not doing that is getting you into trouble. The cycle of negative feelings and not doing (avoidance and isolation) is the heart of the problem.” – Daniel Gros
14. “Your negative emotions (or lack of positive emotions) and avoidance feed on each other following a stressful or even traumatic event.” – Daniel Gros
Related: Top 10 Social Withdrawal Signs — & How To Social Isolation? (Hikikomori Syndrome)
15. “Regular use of avoidance/isolation can result in a vicious cycle. Each time you rely on avoidance, you are making any future attempts to participate in activities more and more challenging over time, reinforcing your initial discomfort and making it more difficult to learn information to counter your avoidance and isolation.” – Daniel Gros
16. “…your initial use of avoidance to cope results in stronger negative emotions and a stronger urge to escape when you return to the stressful situation, leading you to leave the situation again (and sooner than the previous encounter).” – Daniel Gros
17. “Exposure is the most effective tool you can use to move ahead with breaking free of your avoidance/isolation trap.” – Daniel Gros
18. “Avoidance is full of tricks. However, if you keep pushing, exposures will get easier to start and easier to complete. And if you keep at it, exposures will become your new routine. You will become less avoidant and isolated and more active without even realizing it. You will simply select activities because they are associated with positive emotions, as you’ve moved past the negative emotions that have stood in your way.” – Daniel Gros
19. “When you leave an exposure before you learn about your anticipated negative outcome, you are reinforcing your avoidance and isolation, with their short-term benefits. When you left, you felt better. It’s the same old trick that avoidance has been using since this all started.” – Daniel Gros
20. “With each delay in leaving, you will get closer and closer to experiencing the plateau in your negative emotions and learning that the anticipated negative outcome did not happen (or that it wasn’t as bad as you expected it to be). Eventually, your avoidance will turn tail and start avoiding you.” – Daniel Gros
21. “This exposure happened because you were ready to challenge your avoidance and isolation and related negative emotions. You decided that it was time to fight back. That is very good news.” – Daniel Gros
Related: Best 9 Tips On How To Stop Avoidance Coping (+FREE Worksheets PDF)
How To Overcome Avoidance Coping?
While avoidance coping can provide temporary relief, it can also lead to long-term problems and worsen your mental health.
Here are some tips to overcome avoidance coping:
1. Identify your avoidance behaviors: Take note of the things you tend to avoid when you feel stressed or anxious, and acknowledge how these behaviors affect your life.
2. Set small goals: Start by setting achievable goals for yourself. Break down a larger goal into smaller steps that you can accomplish one at a time.
3. Practice relaxation techniques: Finding healthy ways to manage stress is essential in avoiding avoidance coping. Try meditation, deep breathing, or yoga.
4. Build a support system: Talk to friends or family members about what you’re going through, or seek out a therapist who can help you work through your feelings.
5. Challenge negative thoughts: Be aware of negative self-talk and challenge those thoughts. Replace them with more positive, realistic thoughts.
6. Take action: Start taking small actions towards the things you’ve been avoiding. It may be uncomfortable at first, but the more you do it, the easier it will become.
Overcoming avoidance coping takes time, effort, and patience. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you slip up, and keep working towards your goals.
References
- Portions of this article were adapted from the book Overcoming Avoidance Workbook, © 2021 by Daniel Gros. All rights reserved.
