Assertiveness Resources

Find helpful resources for building assertiveness and speaking up with confidence, including books, blog posts, journal prompts, podcasts, and TED or TEDx Talks.

Books

Blog Posts

• Top 5 Tips On How To Be Assertive Without Being Rude
• 25 Signs You Struggle With Assertiveness
• 30 Assertiveness Exercises That Actually Help
• How to Use Assertive Communication at Work?
• Assertive Anger: What It Is & How to Practice It
• Top 35 Boundaries Affirmations To Help You Become More Assertive
• What Assertiveness Can Look Like in Everyday Life
• How to Speak Up for Yourself With Confidence?
• How to Express Your Needs Clearly?
• How to Handle Criticism Assertively?

Assertiveness Journal Prompts

1. In which situations do I find it hardest to speak up for myself?
2. Whose reactions make me most nervous when I need to be assertive?
3. What do I usually fear will happen if I say exactly what I think?
4. What do I fear will happen if I say no?
5. When was the last time I said yes even though I wanted to say no?

Assertiveness Podcasts

• An Expert Guide to Assertive Communication With Dr. Randy Paterson — Minds and Mics
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  Psychologist Dr. Randy Paterson explains passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive communication. He also discusses why people struggle to ask for what they want, how to say no, how to handle confrontation, and how to communicate preferences without turning them into demands.
• How to Be Assertive Without Being a Jerk — Savvy Psychologist
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  Dr. Jade Wu explains what assertiveness actually means and how it differs from being rude or aggressive. The episode gives a practical approach for expressing needs and opinions while still respecting the other person and protecting the relationship.
• The DEAR MAN Skill: Clear Is Kind — Wise Mind: A DBT Podcast
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  Breaks down the DBT DEAR MAN skill for assertive communication. It teaches how to ask clearly for what you need, make requests, say no, stay focused during difficult conversations, and avoid switching between silence and aggression.
• Assertiveness and Attachment Style With Dr. Julie Hanks — Body Matters Podcast
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  Dr. Julie Hanks discusses how attachment patterns can affect someone’s ability to communicate thoughts, wants, feelings, and needs. The episode also covers boundaries, difficult conversations, and expressing yourself directly without becoming passive or aggressive.
• Assertiveness for Women With Dr. Julie Hanks — Soul Sessions With Jodie Gale
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  Explores why some people struggle to speak up, how people-pleasing and relationship patterns can interfere with assertiveness, and the skills needed to communicate feelings and needs more directly.
• Practice Assertiveness With These Three Tips — Little Wisdom
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  A short introduction to assertiveness that explains the difference between passive, aggressive, and assertive communication. It offers practical ways to speak more clearly, set limits, and express your opinion without disrespecting someone else’s.
• The Secret to Bridging Communication Gaps — Savvy Psychologist
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  Looks at what happens when different communication styles clash. It explains how to communicate assertively while also listening carefully enough to avoid turning a disagreement into an unnecessary conflict.
• How to Talk With Someone Intimidating — Savvy Psychologist
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  Focuses on speaking up around bosses, authority figures, or other people you find intimidating. It gives practical strategies for preparing for difficult conversations, communicating clearly, and projecting more confidence.

TED & TEDx Talks About Assertiveness

• How to Speak Up for Yourself — Adam Galinsky
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  Social psychologist Adam Galinsky explains why people sometimes stay quiet even when they need to speak up. He discusses how to advocate for yourself, handle difficult social situations, and become more comfortable asserting your needs and opinions.
• The Beauty of Assertiveness — Dr. Abby Hamilton
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  Challenges the idea that assertiveness automatically means being rude, demanding, or difficult. Dr. Abby Hamilton presents assertiveness as a way of showing that your thoughts, needs, and boundaries matter while still treating other people respectfully.
• Your 3-Step Guide to Setting Better Boundaries at Work — Nedra Glover Tawwab
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  Therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab gives a practical three-step approach to setting clearer workplace boundaries. The talk is useful for people who struggle to say no, communicate limits, or speak up when demands become unreasonable.
• How to Speak Up — Even When You Don’t Want To — Sarah Crawford-Bohl
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  Offers a practical framework for handling conversations you would rather avoid. The talk focuses on speaking clearly when something matters, addressing difficult issues directly, and having uncomfortable conversations without becoming hostile.
• But, I Was Just Being Polite — Alina Sharaf
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  Explores the difference between being polite and continually ignoring your own limits. The talk discusses learning to say no and communicating boundaries more assertively rather than agreeing simply to avoid disappointing someone.
• Building a Better Life With Boundaries — Christi Anne Bela
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  Explains how to establish boundaries early, communicate them clearly, and recognize their role in healthier relationships. It is particularly relevant for practicing assertiveness around personal limits and consent.