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Best 9 Books On Being Assertive

Books On Being Assertive

The following are books on being assertive to help you enjoy healthier relationships.

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

What Does It Mean to Be Assertive?

To be assertive means to assert your opinion, needs, and boundaries in a clear, direct, and respectful way.

It involves communicating effectively and confidently without violating the rights of others or being excessively aggressive.

Being assertive helps you stand up for yourself, express your thoughts and feelings, and negotiate conflict in a healthy and productive way.

It’s an important skill to develop in personal and professional relationships as it allows you to make your voice heard, make decisions that are right for you, and maintain healthy boundaries.

Books On Being Assertive

1. Assertiveness

By Judy Murphy

The information in this guide will teach you the necessary skills to be decisive and in control.

With this information, you will learn to improve your relationships, move your career forward, and earn the respect of your friends, family, spouse, co-workers, even your boss.

Related: Top 35 Boundaries Affirmations To Help You Become More Assertive

2. No More Mr. Nice Guy

By Robert A. Glover

Dr. Glover shows men how to become what he calls Integrated Males. Becoming integrated does not mean becoming different or better. It means being able to accept all aspects of oneself. An integrated male can embrace everything that makes him unique – his power, his assertiveness, his humor, his courage, and his mission, as well as his fears, his imperfections, his mistakes, his rough edges, and his dark side.

Related: Top 5 Tips On How To Be Assertive Without Being Rude

3. Set Boundaries, Find Peace

by Nedra Glover Tawwab

The instant New York Times bestseller helps you end the struggle, speak up for what you need, and experience the freedom of being truly yourself.

Licensed counselor and one of the most influential therapists on Instagram Nedra Glover Tawwab demystifies this complex topic in a relatable and inclusive tone.

Related: Top 25 Tips On How To Set Boundaries In A Toxic Relationship? (+FREE Worksheets PDF)

4. The Power of a Positive No

By William Ury

This indispensable book gives you a simple three-step method for saying a Positive No.

It will show you how to assert and defend your key interests; how to make your No firm and strong; how to resist the other side’s aggression and manipulation; and how to do all this while still getting to Yes. In the end, the Positive No will help you get not just to any Yes but to the right Yes, the one that truly serves your interests.

Related: People Pleaser Quiz (+Top 21 Proven Ways to Stop People Pleasing)

5. The Art of Everyday Assertiveness

By Patrick King

The Art of Everyday Assertiveness is a guide for the chronically “nice,” “overwhelmed,” and “accommodating”.

If your problem is assertiveness, you’ll find the step by step answer in this book – included is a 28-day Assertiveness Action Plan unlike any other. Gain respect, set boundaries, and ask for what you really want.

Related: Top 19 Journal Prompts For Boundaries

6. The Assertiveness Guide for Women

By Julie de Azevedo Hanks PhD LCSW

Using strategies based in mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), The Assertiveness Guide for Women can help you understand the attachment styles that keep you from asserting yourself.

You’ll learn about the three communication stances—from the passive Doormat to the aggressive (or passive-aggressive) Sword to the assertive Lantern—and find practical examples that show you how to apply your new communication and emotional awareness skills in your own life.

Related: Top 10 Books About Setting Boundaries

7. The Guide to Compassionate Assertiveness

By Sherrie Mansfield Vavrichek LCSW-C

The Guide to Compassionate Assertiveness does not require that readers ignore the needs of others and focus solely on their own desires.

Rather, this unique blend of cognitive behavioral therapy-based assertiveness training and Buddhist psychology helps readers practice assertiveness skills while caring deeply about the welfare of others.

This book helps readers develop a form of assertiveness that emphasizes collaboration, negotiation, and compromise. It focuses on speaking up for the benefit of others and speaking up for the relationship, not just one’s own needs.

Related: What Do Boundaries Sound Like? + 35 Boundaries Examples

Workbooks On Being Assertive

8. The Assertiveness Workbook

By Randy J. Paterson PhD

The Assertiveness Workbook contains powerfully effective skills grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help you communicate more effectively, improve social interactions, and express yourself with confidence and clarity.

You’ll learn how to set and maintain personal boundaries while staying connected, and discover ways to be more genuine and open in your relationships.

Finally, you’ll learn to defend yourself calmly if you’re unfairly criticized or asked to submit to unreasonable requests.

Related: Best 9 Tips On How To Receive More In Life And Relationships?

9. Assertiveness Workbook

By Shandelle Hether-Gray

The Assertiveness Workbook includes:

  • Stand your ground―Identify your wants, needs, boundaries, and communication style with fill-in exercises, including factors that may influence assertiveness.
  • Real world, real talk―Practice asserting yourself with sample scripts and helpful key phrases you can use at work, at home, in personal relationships, or out in the world.
  • All-in-one assertiveness―Whether your style is passive, passive-aggressive, or aggressive, this easy-to-follow workbook will help you adopt a more assertive communication style.
STOP people pleasing Worksheets (1)

How Books on Being Assertive Can Help

Books on being assertive can help in various ways:

1. Improve Communication Skills: Assertiveness is all about effective communication, and books on this topic offer practical advice and tools for improving communication skills. They teach you how to speak your mind clearly, express your thoughts and opinions confidently, and communicate effectively without being aggressive or passive.

2. Develop Confidence: Being assertive requires confidence in oneself. Books on this subject can help you develop the inner confidence required to speak up for yourself and stand up for what you believe in.

3. Manage Conflict: Assertiveness helps you manage disagreements and conflicts constructively. Books can offer strategies to manage conflicts in a way that is beneficial to all parties involved.

4. Set Boundaries: Assertiveness is also about setting and maintaining boundaries. Books can help you understand how to set healthy boundaries with others and communicate those boundaries effectively.

5. Enhance Relationships: When used appropriately, assertiveness can enhance relationships. Books can teach you how to communicate your needs and desires in a non-threatening way, leading to more fulfilling relationships.


Books on being assertive provide valuable information for increasing self-confidence and improving communication skills, which can lead to a happier and more successful life.

By Hadiah

Hadiah is a counselor who is passionate about supporting individuals on their journey towards mental well-being. Hadiah not only writes insightful articles on various mental health topics but also creates engaging and practical mental health worksheets.

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