This post contains some of the best divorced parents quotes.
Divorced Parents Quotes
1. “Adults whose parents divorced when they were kids have told us, without exception, that they did not want to know the intimate details of their parents’ split and that they resented the parents who told them anyway.” – Deesha Philyaw, Michael D. Thomas
2. “As divorced co-parents, the question we get most often after “How do you do it?” is “If you can get along this well—well enough to collaborate on this book—why couldn’t you make your marriage work?” Our answer: the platonic relationship we’ve cultivated since our divorce is possible only because we’ve removed ourselves from the parasitic resentments that ate away at our marriage, from the daily misery and conflict.” – Deesha Philyaw, Michael D. Thomas
3. “Divorced or separated parents inherently know not to fight in front of their children, but how much affection is appropriate? It helps children to know that their parents don’t hate each other after a breakup, but open displays of affection aren’t necessary to demonstrate this.” – Jann Blackstone
4. “First, a divorced parent should never show up at the other parent’s home unannounced. Too many things could be interrupted that may get in the way of future co-parenting, particularly if the parent has already begun to date.” – Jann Blackstone
Related: Dating A Divorced Man? The Ultimate Guide to Deal With Challenges of Dating a Divorced Man
5. “For their children’s sake as well as their own, divorced and divorcing parents are called upon to be reasonable, considerate, flexible, cooperative, and mature when what they might really want to do is lash out, compete, be defensive, or dole out some payback—anything to make the pain go away or satisfy the anger burning inside them.” – Deesha Philyaw, Michael D. Thomas
6. “Ideally, all divorced parents would continue to have regular contact and involvement with their children. However, if this is not the case for one of the aforementioned reasons, you should strive to increase the quality of what little time you spend with the children.” – Lisa Rene Reynolds M.D.
7. “In most cases, when there is a problem, divorced parents rarely reach out to each other. However, although there has been animosity in the past, they both love their child equally. Both are pained when it’s difficult for their child to assimilate into mainstream education or when the other kids mimic their child’s behavior. Both parents celebrate their child’s successes and are saddened by their child’s challenges. These parents are not alone while raising their son. And in a positive co-parenting relationship, they realize it even more.” – Jann Blackstone
8. “In reality, divorced parents don’t always agree, and when they don’t, most dig in their heels and say, “My house, my rules.” That’s how you end up with problems such as children being grounded from electronics paid for by the other parent.” – Jann Blackstone
Related: How To Divorce Without Hurting Your Child?
9. “It also might help to remind yourself that some degree of parent-child conflict and children’s testing of parents’ limits is normative, especially in divorced families, in which children can play the parents off each other.” – Amy J.L. Baker, Mike Bone, Brian Ludmer
10. “It’s natural that separated and divorced parents will introduce some differences between their homes. At one house, a child may get plenty of sleep, and at the other, he may stay awake half the night. The food may be healthier; the car, safer; and the home condition, better at one place or another. There’s a line, however, between less-than-ideal parenting and abuse or neglect. While that line can be fuzzy at times, it helps to start with some basic definitions.” – Jann Blackstone
11. “Possibly the worst thing a divorced parent can say is something such as “You’re just like your dad (or mom)!” in an angry or disgusted manner.” – Jann Blackstone
12. “Some divorced parents have a secret they would never admit but believe all the same. Information is power, and the parent with the most information about the children has the power and therefore believes oneself to be “the best parent.”” – Jann Blackstone
13. “Some parents are so angry or wounded by the separation/divorce that they find it hard to see outside their own pain and keep focused on the kids.” – Lisa Rene Reynolds M.D.
14. “The term “high-conflict custody dispute” refers to situations in which separated or divorced parents are engaged in an ongoing dispute about parental rights and responsibilities (in essence, parenting time and decision making).” – Amy J.L. Baker, Mike Bone, Brian Ludmer
15. “We believe that more divorced couples can co-parent successfully if they make a firm commitment to really live for their kids—including honoring and encouraging their kids’ relationship with the other parent and seeing that parent as an ally instead of an enemy.” – Deesha Philyaw, Michael D. Thomas
Related: Best 17 Tips On How To Cope With Divorce When You Still Love Him
16. “Anger and hostility generated by divorce and custody problems are destructive in many ways. The two most destructive ways are to shut down reason and to make you sick.” – Peter Favaro
17. “Before learning about the divorce, the child goes to school as part of a “whole” family. After she learns about it, she goes to school feeling different about herself, about her place among her peers, and about the uncertain future that lies ahead.” – Peter Favaro
18. “Children feel every change that takes place, even ones that seem small or insignificant to the adults in their lives. When children go through a divorce, they need adults to recognize the significant impact the experience will have on them today, tomorrow, and always.” – Alan Wolfelt
19. “Children need us to “companion” them through their divorce grief. To companion means to walk with, to be present to, and to pay attention to what children think, feel, and experience during the divorce process. It means allowing children to teach us what their unique grief journeys feels like instead of telling them what they should or should not feel. It means honoring children and allowing them to feel and express a range of emotions throughout their healing process.” – Alan Wolfelt
20. “Divorce causes waves of various emotions, some of which can feel overwhelming to children. Emotions may feel intense and difficult to keep in check. Old ways of coping may not be effective during this time of significant transition.” – Alan Wolfelt
21. “Divorce grief is not an easy process, but healing after divorce can happen, especially when children have the support of adults who recognize the far-reaching impact of divorce on their lives. Divorce has a way of rearranging the core beliefs that kids have about marriage, love, and family.” – Alan Wolfelt
22. “From the point that you tell your child about your divorce, you are changing his life in a dramatic way. You and your co-parent should do everything within your power to make that adjustment easier on your child.” – Peter Favaro
23. “In an intact family, were a toddler to say, “I don’t like Mommy,” neither parent would give it a moment’s worth of serious consideration. But when parents are divorced, such statements can be distressing to parents. A toddler might say she doesn’t like Mommy or Daddy simply because everything in her world is subject to a thumbs-up or thumbs-down evaluation depending on whether she is being allowed to do what she wants at the time. By the same token a toddler might state that he does not like Mommy or Daddy because it is time to take a bath and he doesn’t want to be interrupted from what he is doing.” – Peter Favaro
24. “It’s Widely Thought that the three most stressful events that can happen in the life of a child are the death of a parent or close family member, divorce, and moving. If this is so, it would appear as though a move during or following a divorce would be adding insult to injury.” – Peter Favaro
25. “Most Parents Know that the quality of their relationship with one another during and after the divorce process will influence the psychological adjustment of their children—but often they forget it.” – Peter Favaro
26. “Moving on from a horrible divorce, breakup, or battle over the kids is sometimes all you have to do to irk someone who has gone out of his way to make life miserable for you.” – Peter Favaro
27. “People’s lives can be shattered by a high-conflict divorce, and the greatest harm comes to the children.” – Peter Favaro
28. “Please remember that whenever you move a child outside of his school district you are forcing the child to adjust to new friends, new teachers, and new environments. These are sometimes the only measures of stability left in a child’s life after parents divorce.” – Peter Favaro
29. “Sometimes divorced parents forget that the decisions they make create the psychological videotape that becomes their children’s childhood memories. Is it better to have a few concentrated periods of contact with the noncustodial parent, or better to have weekend ice cream sundaes and all of the “little experiences” that form the basis of emotional memories that are more intimate and, in the long run, probably healthier psychologically? Usually it is the latter.” – Peter Favaro
30. “The fact that children do not experience loss in the same way as adults complicates their grief journeys. Adults may expect children to cope with divorce in the same stoic, steadfast ways that they do. Mourning the endings and losses associated with divorce is a much different process for children—one that requires our compassionate attention.” – Alan Wolfelt
31. “There can be something oddly comforting about focusing your attention on a co-parent who has become your enemy. It gives you an excuse to avoid other responsibilities in life. After all, almost everyone can be sympathetic to someone who is going through a rough divorce, especially where children are involved. But be forewarned: this coupon has an expiration date.” – Peter Favaro
32. “To put it into terms that a lot of divorced parents in conflict can understand: if you lose your home, your savings, and your sanity in a divorce that could have been settled through civilized conversation, then even if you “win,” you still have lost.” – Peter Favaro
33. “We seldom imagine childhood as a time for confronting and coping with profound loss. Yet each year, this is true for millions of children whose parents decide to end their marriage. Children who go through divorce experience the heartache and pain of “divorce grief ”—a distinct grief for a distinct loss.” – Alan Wolfelt
34. “When divorce occurs during this period of ambivalence (primarily during the preschool and adolescent years), divorce grief is complicated. Take teenagers, for example. They may unconsciously believe that if they mourn openly in front of their parents, their parents will see them as vulnerable and dependent.” – Alan Wolfelt
35.“When supervised visitation is really needed, it can save a child’s life. When supervised visitation is not needed, it is one of the most humiliating experiences a parent can go through during a high-conflict divorce or post-divorce action.” – Peter Favaro
