This post contains some of the best fearing love quotes.
What Is Fear of Love?
Fear of love, also known as philophobia, is a psychological condition characterized by an intense fear, dread or aversion towards falling in love or being in a romantic relationship.
People with philophobia have an irrational fear of emotional attachment, vulnerability and intimacy with another person.
Symptoms of philophobia include anxiety, panic attacks, avoidance behavior, difficulty expressing emotions, and even physical symptoms such as nausea and trembling when confronted with the possibility of a romantic relationship.
This fear may be due to past traumatic experiences, such as abandonment, rejection, or abuse, or it may be a result of social conditioning, cultural beliefs and personal values.
Fearing Love Quotes
1. “All the things that people do in order to show that they don’t need anybody… meanwhile, all they really want to do is say, “Please keep me.” We all want to be kept. The problem is we are too afraid to let anyone know about it. What are these fragile things in our hearts that have so much fear of being broken?” ― C. JoyBell C.
2. “Although we want to be close with others, we maintain a distance so we won’t be hurt.” ― Yong Kang Chan
3. “Do not be afraid of love or the course it will take. There is no certainty in life. Choose love first and choose love last and it will give you more than you ever give it.” ― Donna Goddard
4. “Don’t be scared to love again, not everyone is your ex.” – Unknown
5. “You’re not afraid to love you’re just afraid of not being loved.” – Unknown
6. “I’m scared to love you…but I’m even more scared of walking away.” – Unknown
7. “The women with the highest walls, have the deepest love.” – R.H. Sin
8. “She didn’t know who would leave or stay, so she pushed them all away.” – Unknown
Related: Fear Of Intimacy Quiz (+13 Tips On How To Increase Emotional Intimacy In A Relationship?)
9. “I’m not afraid to fall in love. I’m afraid to fall for the wrong person again.” – Unknown
10. “Isn’t that what love is? Being scared, then being brave, because of that one person?” – Unknown
11. “So many people are scared of being hurt that they close themselves off from being loved.” – Unknown
12. “I’m so afraid of losing something I love, that I refuse to love anything.”- Jonathan Safran Foer
13. “We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all.”- Eleanor Roosevelt
14. “Love casts out fear, but we have to get over the fear in order to get close enough to love them.”- Dorothy Day
15. “The fear to love reaches sometimes the depth of a panic, resembles sometimes the fear to die.”- Theodor Reik
16. “The choice that frees or imprisons us is the choice of love or fear. Love liberates. Fear imprisons.”- Gary Zukav
Related: Affection Quiz (+3 Strategies To Increase Affection In Your Relationship)
17. “If someone broke your heart it doesn’t mean you should build a wall around it and quit loving. Redirect your love.”- Rick Warren
18. “If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater.” – Unknown
19. “Fear is the great enemy of intimacy. Fear makes us run away from each other or cling to each other but does not create true intimacy.”- Henri Nouwen
20. “Those who are scared to love will eventually find the person that will make them rethink it.” – Unknown
21. “I have been wondering how to get over that feeling of being scared to love, now I know why.” – Unknown
22. “I am still getting used to the feeling of being in love so I’m still a bit more than scared to love.” – Unknown
23. “To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.” – Bertrand Russell
Related: How To Fix Anxious Attachment Style In 5 Steps
24. “I’m not scared of commitment, I’m scared of putting my all into someone and ending up with nothing again.” – Unknown
25. “She wasn’t sure which scared her more, the fact that he wanted to explore her depths and understand her…or the fact she was willing to let him.” – Unknown
26. “The opposite of love is not hate. It is fear.”- Gary Zukav
27. “Don’t fear getting hurt, fear never knowing how good love can really be.” – Unknown
28. “Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.”- Marianne Williamson
29. “Loving can cost a lot but not loving always costs more, and those who fear to love often find that want of love is an emptiness that robs the joy from life.”- Merle Shain
30. “Those who love to be feared fear to be loved, and they themselves are more afraid than anyone, for whereas other men fear only them, they fear everyone.”- St. Francis de Sales
Related: 10 Steps To End Fearful Avoidant Chase
How to Overcome Fear Of Love And Intimacy?
The fear of love and intimacy can be challenging to overcome, but it is possible.
Here are some practical tips that may help:
1. Understand the Roots of Your Fear
Consider how past relationships, family dynamics, or traumatic experiences might have influenced your fear of intimacy.
Example: Were you hurt or betrayed by someone you trusted? Did you grow up in an environment where love and affection were not openly expressed?
Recognize the situations or behaviors that make you feel vulnerable or unsafe in relationships.
Example: Avoiding deep conversations, withdrawing when someone gets too close.
2. Develop Self-Awareness
Accept that fear, anxiety, or discomfort around love and intimacy is valid. Journaling or speaking with a trusted friend can help process these emotions.
Challenge negative or limiting beliefs like “I’m unworthy of love” or “Love always leads to pain.” Replace these with healthier, balanced thoughts.
3. Build a Strong Foundation of Self-Love
Treat yourself with kindness and patience as you work through your fears. Remind yourself that growth takes time.
Engage in activities that make you feel confident and capable. A strong sense of self-worth reduces dependency on external validation.
Repeat affirmations such as:
“I am worthy of love and connection.”
“I can embrace vulnerability with courage.”
4. Learn to Trust Gradually
Open up about minor topics or feelings with people you trust. As you experience positive responses, gradually share more personal thoughts and emotions.
Trust builds through consistent actions over time. Observe how people respect your boundaries and respond to your needs.
Remind yourself that the people in your current life are not necessarily the same as those who hurt you in the past.
5. Address Vulnerability with Courage
Understand that sharing your feelings and allowing closeness demonstrates strength, not weakness.
Practice small acts of vulnerability, such as sharing your thoughts or initiating physical touch, to build comfort.
6. Establish and Communicate Boundaries
Know what feels safe and what doesn’t. Boundaries protect your emotional well-being and build a sense of control in relationships.
Express your boundaries with honesty and kindness. Example: “I need time to open up, but I value this connection.”
7. Challenge Negative Thought Patterns
Notice thoughts like “They’ll leave me if I open up” or “I’ll get hurt again.” Challenge these by asking:
Is this thought based on facts or fear?
What evidence do I have to support or refute it?
Turn “What if they reject me?” into “What if they accept and love me for who I am?”
8. Nurture Healthy Relationships
Surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries, communicate openly, and value emotional growth.
Healthy relationships evolve at a pace that feels comfortable for both people. Avoid rushing into situations that feel overwhelming.
Conclusion
Overcoming fear of love and intimacy is not about eliminating fear entirely but learning to move forward despite it. With self-awareness, the right support, and a willingness to take small, courageous steps, you can embrace love and connection as a source of strength and joy.
