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Top 21 Reactive Abuse Quotes

Reactive Abuse Quotes

This post contains some of the best reactive abuse quotes.

What Is Reactive Abuse?

Reactive abuse is a manipulation technique that the abuser uses to shift the blame onto the abused.

It’s commonly associated with gaslighting as this technique aims to convince the abused that they’re the abuser.

Narcissists often use this self-defense technique to play the victim and escape the consequences for their actions.

Reactive Abuse Quotes

1. “A bad mood is often the reason for blaming others; but very often blaming others causes bad feelings in us: the more we blame others, the worse we feel.” – Leo Tolstoy

2. “A defense mechanism narcissists use that involves condemning others for their own emotions, traits, reactions, and behaviors. A narcissist projects without being provoked. Although the narcissist may project their positive attributes onto you (mirror image), most of the time they are scraping the mud off of themselves and smearing it onto you. Everything they say precisely describes them, but it mind screws you so bad it may leave you asking yourself the question, “Am I the narcissist?”” – Unknown

3. “A person can’t heal as long as they are deflecting and blaming. One must accept responsibility for their own actions and make the shift necessary for growth.” – Sanjo Jendagi

Related: Healing From Emotional Abuse In 12 Practical Steps

4. “Blaming is pointing out there, rather than in here, into your own mind, when you find yourself in a painful or uncomfortable experience. Blame means shifting the responsibility for where you are onto someone or something else, rather than accepting responsibility for your role in the experience.” – Iyanla Vanzant

5. “Life changing repentance begins where blame shifting ends.” – Timothy Keller

6. “Men are only clever at shifting blame from their own shoulders to those of others.” – Titus Livius

7. “Narcissist Abuse: Blame shifting: You ask the abuser to make more time for the relationship and they tell you that you are always too busy with your friends lately for them.” – Unknown

8. “Narcissists cannot ever admit to any wrongdoing. Why would they? In their eyes, they don’t ever do anything wrong. They think they don’t make mistakes. What they do is blame others. It’s called blame shifting.” – Unknown

Related: Can Abusers Change? Top 17 Myths About Abusive Men That Make Women Stay With Abusers

9. “Narcissists will purposely give us the silent treatment when we try talking to them about something. When we ask them why they aren’t responding, the Narcissists will simply state, “I’m not going to argue with you.” Say what? What just happened there! How did it go to being our fault? How did they spin that around? You see, that’s their way of deflecting any and all responsibility off of them and blame shifting us. They want us to think everything is our fault so we end up apologizing to them!” – Unknown

10. “Philosophy of Narcissism 101: “Sit for a spell and listen to my list of why all my faults are all your fault”.” – Unknown

11. “The narcissist blames his her behavior on something that you are or aren’t doing.” – Melanie Tonia Evans

12. “The narcissist, successfully changes the topic and diverts your attention by pointing the finger at you, nd you suddenly find yourself on the defensive end of the conversation stick. The narcissist will raise questions about any and all of your real, or perceived faults, and pummel you. You, in turn, instinctively defend yourself, and the narcissist, just like magic, makes the original topic of their bad behavior disappear and escapes having to take any accountability for their actions. Then your blamed for creating problems and drams, in the relationship.” – Unknown

Related: How To Break The Cycle Of Abuse? Top 10 Powerful Strategies To Stop Being An Abusive Person

12. “To punish someone for your own mistakes or for the consequences of your own actions, to harm another by shifting blame that is rightly yours; this is a wretched and cowardly sin.” – Richelle E. Goodrich

13. “Selective amnesia by harmful people is blame-shifting. According to FreeDictionary.com, “Blame-shifting is when someone shifts the blame from person to person.” The root of blame-shifting is when an abusive person fails to take responsibility for their cruelty.” ― Dana Arcuri

14. “Gaslighting is a subtle form of emotional manipulation that often results in the recipient doubting their own perception of reality and their sanity. In addition, gaslighting is a method of manipulation by toxic people to gain power over you. The worst part about gaslighting is that it undermines your self-worth to the point where you’re second-guessing everything.” — Dana Arcuri

15. “It frightens me because I feel vulnerable to attacks, an easy target for gaslighting. Phrases like ‘No I didn’t say that!’, ‘You don’t remember,’ and ‘You must have forgotten,’ start rattling my brain and making me jittery.” — Ankita Sahani

Related: Covert Verbal Abuse: What Is It & How To Recover From Verbal Abuse

16. “Narcissists are consumed with maintaining a shallow false self to others. They’re emotionally crippled souls that are addicted to attention. Because of this, they use a multitude of games, in order to receive adoration. Sadly, they are the most ungodly of God’s creations because they don’t show remorse for their actions, take steps to make amends, or have empathy for others. They are morally bankrupt.” — Shannon L. Alder

17. “In terms of gaslighting, I define it as ‘to implant false and/or distorted narratives that are specially designed or formulated to manipulate a person into a destructive web of deception, loss of control, and the surrender of personal freedom and beliefs of self-worth, self-value, self-esteem, and productivity.’” — Ross Rosenberg

18. “Remember, someone that does something bad to you, will always try to control the narrative, and they generally get out there first and spin the story to anyone who will listen. I always like to watch the quiet one. You are not alone.” — Maranda Pleasant

Related: Am I Being Verbally Abused Quiz

19. “When we remove ego, we’re left with what is real. What replaces ego is humility, yes — but rock-hard humility and confidence. Whereas ego is artificial, this type of confidence can hold weight. Ego is stolen. Whereas ego is artificial, this type of confidence can hold weight. Ego is stolen. Confidence is earned. The ego is self-anointed; its swagger is artifice. One is girding yourself, the other gaslighting. It’s the difference between potent and poisonous.” — Ryan Holiday

20. “Gaslighting, brainwashing, cults, hostage situations, and totalitarian propaganda have a common basis. They use similar techniques to confuse, intimidate, and disempower people. These methods are used by abusers of all kinds for the purpose of controlling other people, and promoting the abusers’ interests.” — Linda Hatch, PhD

21. “Gaslighting are lies with a purpose to confuse and control.” — Tracy Malone

Related: Emotional Abuse In Relationships Quiz

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