Have you ever felt tense, restless, or anxious after spending time with someone who was stressed out? You may have experienced second-hand anxiety—the emotional equivalent of catching someone else’s stress.
Just like second-hand smoke, anxiety can be absorbed from those around us, affecting our mood, thoughts, and even physical health.
What Is Second-Hand Anxiety?
Second-hand anxiety is when you absorb the stress, worry, or nervous energy of others—even if you weren’t anxious before.
It can happen when you’re around:
- A friend who constantly overthinks and panics
- A coworker who is always stressed about deadlines
- A family member who catastrophizes everything
- A partner who worries excessively about the future
Your brain picks up on their emotional cues, and before you know it, you’re feeling on edge—even if nothing in your own life is causing stress.
Second-hand anxiety spreads through emotional contagion—the subconscious transfer of emotions between people.
Signs You’re Experiencing Second-Hand Anxiety
- You feel anxious or uneasy around certain people, even if you weren’t before
- Your heart rate speeds up, and your body feels tense when others are stressed
- You start overthinking or worrying about things that aren’t even your problem
- You mirror someone else’s anxious behaviors, like nail-biting or pacing
- You feel emotionally drained after spending time with anxious people
- You have trouble sleeping after interacting with someone who was stressed
If you feel on edge but can’t pinpoint why, you may have absorbed someone else’s stress.
Related: How to Use The Voo Breath for Anxiety or Trauma Recovery?
How Does Second-Hand Anxiety Affect You?
Increases your stress levels – Your body reacts as if you’re in danger, even if the stress isn’t yours.
Affects your mood – You might feel irritable, overwhelmed, or emotionally drained.
Impacts focus and productivity – Anxiety hijacks your attention, making it harder to concentrate.
Disrupts sleep – If you absorb stress before bedtime, your brain may struggle to relax.
Strains relationships – If you’re constantly absorbing others’ stress, you may feel resentful or exhausted.
Chronic exposure to second-hand anxiety can lead to burnout if not managed properly.
Related: How To Release Emotions Trapped In Your Body?
Who Is Most Susceptible to Second-Hand Anxiety?
Some people are more prone to absorbing anxiety, including:
Highly empathetic individuals – If you’re deeply attuned to others’ emotions, you may soak up their stress.
People-pleasers – Those who feel responsible for keeping others happy often take on their worries.
Caregivers & helpers – Nurses, therapists, teachers, and parents frequently absorb others’ emotional burdens.
Those with existing anxiety – If you already struggle with anxiety, being around anxious people can heighten it.
If you’re highly sensitive or empathetic, setting emotional boundaries is crucial.
Related: Name It to Tame It: How to Process Emotions?
How to Protect Yourself from Second-Hand Anxiety?
1. Recognize When It’s Not Your Anxiety
When you feel stressed, ask yourself:
“Was I anxious before this conversation?”
“Is this actually my problem, or am I absorbing someone else’s worry?”
If the answer is no, acknowledge that this stress belongs to someone else.
2. Set Emotional Boundaries
You are not responsible for fixing everyone’s problems.
If someone is venting excessively, gently redirect:
“I understand you’re stressed, but let’s focus on solutions.”
“I care about you, but I need to protect my energy too.”
Limit time with those who constantly spread negativity.
Related: How To Be Less Emotionally Reactive?
3. Practice Grounding Techniques
When you feel anxious but don’t know why, ground yourself in the present.
Try this:
5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise:
Name 5 things you see
Touch 4 things around you
Listen to 3 sounds nearby
Smell 2 scents
Taste 1 thing
Related: Dysregulated Nervous System: Top 9 Signs & How to Heal
4. Limit Exposure to Anxiety Triggers
If a certain coworker, friend, or relative always stresses you out, spend less time around them.
If you can’t avoid them completely, reduce deep emotional conversations with them.
5. Release Absorbed Stress
If you’ve already taken on someone’s anxiety, let it go before it lingers.
Quick stress-release techniques:
Take deep breaths – Exhale stress out of your body.
Shake it off – Stand up, shake your arms and legs to physically release tension.
Move your body – Go for a walk, stretch, or do a short workout.
Journaling – Write down the anxious thoughts and then let them go.
Related: Top 3 Ways to Activate the Parasympathetic Response & Calm Anxiety?
6. Protect Your Energy with Visualization
Imagine a protective bubble around you that keeps out negativity.
Picture others’ anxiety bouncing off your energy field instead of entering your space.
7. Encourage Solutions, Not Endless Complaining
If someone constantly unloads their anxiety on you, shift the conversation toward solutions:
“What’s one thing you can do to feel better?”
“How can I support you without taking on your stress?”
Related: The Big List of Emotions
8. Prioritize Self-Care & Recharge
After absorbing stress, restore your own peace with self-care:
Spend time alone to decompress
Listen to calming music or nature sounds
Meditate, read, or take a bath
Engage in hobbies that relax you
Final Thoughts: You Are Not a Sponge for Other People’s Anxiety
You can care for others without carrying their stress. The next time you feel anxious for no reason, ask yourself:
“Is this my stress, or did I absorb it from someone else?”
“How can I protect my energy in this situation?”
“What can I do to reset and regain my calm?”
By setting emotional boundaries, grounding yourself, and releasing absorbed stress, you can stay calm, balanced, and in control—even in stressful environments.
Challenge: Try one of these techniques today and notice how it affects your stress levels.
