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Top 30 Self Pity Quotes

Self Pity Quotes

This post contains some of the best self pity quotes.

Self Pity Quotes

1. “Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the nonpharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.” —John Gardner

2. “Self-pity can consume you until it eventually changes your thoughts and behaviors. But you can choose to take control. Even when you can’t alter your circumstances, you can alter your attitude.” – Amy Morin

3. “If self-pity is so destructive, why do we do it in the first place? And why is it sometimes so easy and even comforting to indulge in a pity party?” – Amy Morin

4. “It’s so easy to fall into the self-pity trap. As long as you feel sorry for yourself, you can delay any circumstances that will bring you face-to-face with your real fears, and you can avoid taking any responsibility for your actions.” – Amy Morin

Related: Top 10 Ways To Stop Wallowing In Self Pity

5. “Feeling sorry for yourself can buy time. Instead of taking action or moving forward, exaggerating how bad your situation is justifies why you shouldn’t do anything to improve it.” – Amy Morin

6. “People often use self-pity as a way to gain attention. Playing the “poor me” card may result in some kind and gentle words from others—at least initially.” – Amy Morin

7. “For people who fear rejection, self-pity can be an indirect way of gaining help by sharing a woe-is-me tale in hopes it will attract some assistance.” – Amy Morin

8. “Unfortunately, misery loves company, and sometimes self-pity becomes a bragging right.” – Amy Morin

9. “A conversation can turn into a contest, with the person who has experienced the most trauma earning the badge of victory.” – Amy Morin

10. “Self-pity can also provide a reason to avoid responsibility.” – Amy Morin

11. “Sometimes self-pity becomes an act of defiance. It’s almost as if we assume that something will change if we dig in our heels and remind the universe that we deserve better. But that’s not how the world works.” – Amy Morin

Related: How Confident Am I Quiz (+Best 13 Practical Tools To Feel More Confident)

12. “Feeling sorry for yourself is self-destructive. It leads to new problems and can have serious consequences.” – Amy Morin

13. “Feeling sorry for yourself requires a lot of mental energy and does nothing to change the situation. Even when you can’t fix the problem, you can make choices to cope with life’s obstacles in a positive way.” – Amy Morin

14. “Feeling sorry for yourself won’t move you any closer to a solution.” – Amy Morin

15. “Once you allow it to take hold, self-pity will ignite a flurry of other negative emotions. It can lead to anger, resentment, loneliness, and other feelings that fuel more negative thoughts.” – Amy Morin

16. “Feelings of self-pity can lead to living a pitiful life. When you feel sorry for yourself, it’s unlikely you’ll perform at your best. As a result, you may experience more problems and increased failures, which will breed more feelings of self-pity.” – Amy Morin

17. “Self-pity gets in the way of dealing with grief, sadness, anger, and other emotions. It can stall your progress from healing and moving forward because self-pity keeps the focus on why things should be different rather than accepting the situation for what it is.” – Amy Morin

18. “If five good things and one bad thing happen in a day, self-pity will cause you to focus only on the negative.” – Amy Morin

Related: Top 18 Self Esteem Exercises (+FREE CBT For Self-Esteem Worksheets PDF)

19. “When you feel sorry for yourself, you’ll miss out on the positive aspects of life.” – Amy Morin

20. “A victim mentality is not an attractive characteristic. Complaining about how bad your life is will likely wear on people rather quickly. No one ever says, “What I really like about her is the fact that she always feels sorry for herself.”” – Amy Morin

21. “To alleviate feelings of self-pity, you need to change your pitiful behavior and forbid yourself from indulging in pitiful thoughts.” – Amy Morin

22. “Volunteer to help a worthy cause. It will take your mind off your problems and you can feel good that you’ve helped support someone else. It’s hard to feel sorry for yourself when you’re serving hungry people in a soup kitchen or spending time with elderly residents in a nursing home.” – Amy Morin

23. “The key to changing your feelings is finding which behaviors will extinguish your feelings of self-pity. Sometimes it’s a process of trial and error because the same behavioral change won’t work for everyone.” – Amy Morin

24. “You can choose to catch your negative thoughts before they spiral out of control. Though replacing overly negative thoughts with more realistic ones takes practice and hard work, it’s very effective in decreasing feelings of self-pity.” – Amy Morin

Related: How To Be Gentle With Yourself? Top 5 Ways To Practice Self-Compassion

25. “Some bad things happen to me, but plenty of good things happen to me as well. This doesn’t mean you should turn something negative into an unrealistically positive affirmation. Instead, strive to find a realistic way to look at your situation.” – Amy Morin

26. “When you notice that you’re starting to feel sorry for yourself, shift your focus. Don’t allow yourself to continue thinking that life isn’t fair or that life should be different. Instead, sit down and list the people, circumstances, and experiences in life that you can be thankful for. If you keep a journal, refer to it and read it whenever self-pity begins to set in.” – Amy Morin

27. “If you allow self-pity to take hold when you’re dealing with stress, you’ll put off working on a solution.” – Amy Morin

28. “Self pity becomes your oxygen. But you learned to breathe it without a gasp. So, nobody even notices you’re hurting.” ― Paul Monette

29. “Self pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.” ― John Gardner

30. “It’s all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are finished.” ― Debbie Macomber

Related: Best 18 Self Compassion Journal Prompts (+FREE Worksheets)

Come out of denial Worksheets (2)

How to Stop Pitying Yourself?

If you find yourself frequently pitying yourself and want to change this pattern of thinking, here are some evidence-based suggestions:

1. Challenge negative thoughts: Notice when self-pitying thoughts arise and question their validity. Ask yourself if there is evidence to support these thoughts or if there might be alternative explanations.

2. Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a friend going through a tough time. Remind yourself that everyone faces challenges and that it’s okay to feel upset sometimes.

3. Focus on gratitude: Shift your attention towards what you’re grateful for in your life. Regularly practice gratitude by reflecting on the positive aspects and experiences, no matter how small they may seem.

4. Set realistic expectations: Evaluate whether your expectations for yourself are reasonable and attainable. Adjusting your expectations can help reduce feelings of disappointment and self-pity.

5. Engage in activities you enjoy: Participate in activities that bring you joy and a sense of purpose. Doing things that make you feel good can help shift your focus away from self-pity.

6. Practice self-care: Take care of your physical and emotional well-being by getting adequate sleep, eating nourishing food, exercising regularly, and engaging in relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation.


Overcoming self-pity takes time and effort, so be patient with yourself throughout the process.


  • Portions of this article were adapted from the book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, © 2014 by Amy Morin. All rights reserved.

By Hadiah

Hadiah is a counselor who is passionate about supporting individuals on their journey towards mental well-being. Hadiah not only writes insightful articles on various mental health topics but also creates engaging and practical mental health worksheets.

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