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Top 40 Sibling Grief Quotes

Sibling Grief Quotes

This post contains some of the best sibling grief quotes.

Sibling Grief Quotes

1. “Whether your sibling was younger or older, whether the death was sudden or anticipated, whether you were very close to your sibling throughout your lives or experienced periods of separation, you are now grieving.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

2. “If you loved your sibling, you will grieve. Even if you had a difficult or ambivalent relationship with your sibling, you will grieve.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

3. “Yet no matter what your present-day relationship with your sibling was, his or her death is a blow because a part of your story has died.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

4. “At any given time, an estimated 25 percent of Americans have experienced the death of a sibling. This means that nearly 100 million people in our country have suffered the death of a brother or sister. Yet why do we hear so little about sibling grief?” – Alan D. Wolfelt

5. “Yet too often, our society views the death of an adult sibling as less important than the death of a spouse, a child, a parent, or even a close friend. This results in surviving siblings feeling unvalidated and unsupported in their grief. We sometimes call this “disenfranchised grief,” meaning that it is not acknowledged in our culture. I also use the term “forgotten mourners” to describe this problem. Has this happened to you?” – Alan D. Wolfelt

Related: Best 21 Grief Journaling Prompts (+FREE Grief Worksheets PDF)

6. “The truth is, no losses are “less than.” They are simply different. What’s more, the stronger your attachment to someone who dies, the stronger your grief is likely to be—no matter the type of relationship (spouse, child, parent, sibling, friend, etc.). Also, when relationships are strained, difficult or have been cut off, we often experience natural complications because we mourn for what we wish could have been.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

7. “When a sibling dies, it is like a deep hole implodes inside of you. It’s as if the hole penetrates you and leaves you gasping for air.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

8. “Remember—you are not alone, and you are not forgotten. No, your love does not end with the death of your brother or sister. You can and will carry your sibling with you into the future, always remembering your past and what he or she brought to the dance of your life.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

9. “Don’t judge yourself or try to set a particular course for healing. There is no one way to grieve the death of a sibling. There is only what you think and feel and the expressing of those thoughts and feelings.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

10. “Even if your sibling was elderly when he or she died, your feelings of loss may be profound. Some people think that death is just a normal part of life for older people, and that they accept death more easily than younger people. While this may be true in part, elderly people still feel the pain of loss. Love is ageless, thus grief is ageless.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

Related: Best +30 Grief Activities For Adults (+FREE Worksheets PDF)

11. “We grow, we learn; the spiritual path is a lifetime unfolding process. The death of your sibling often inspires this spiritual unfolding. Make the effort to embrace your spirituality and it will embrace you back by inspiring you with a sense of peace, hope and healing.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

12. “Whether your sibling was young, middle-aged or older, whether the death was sudden or anticipated, someone you loved and who loved you will never be physically present to you again. Of course you grieve! Of course you need to mourn!” – Alan D. Wolfelt

13. “When the opportunity arises, let others know that the death of a sibling is not easy and that the resulting grief is not “less than” the grief from other deaths.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

14. “One way to mourn your sibling’s death is to think through, write and talk about the relationship you had with him or her. Were you close to your sibling, whether as children and/or as adults? How did your relationship change as you grew older? What words would your sibling use to describe you? What words would you use to describe your sibling?” – Alan D. Wolfelt

15. “When a sibling dies, you lose not only the physical presence of your sibling, but also a part of yourself—that part of you that was and is a brother or sister.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

Related: Grief Comes In Waves: Top 12 Lessons From Grief No One Talks About

16. “One of the most difficult losses for grieving adult siblings can be the sense of loss of a shared history. Your brother or sister grew up in the same house with you, shared the same parents, attended the same school, climbed the same tree… Who else knew your childhood so well?” – Alan D. Wolfelt

17. “The death of a sibling often brings about feelings of unfinished business— things we never did, things we didn’t get to say, things we wish we hadn’t.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

18. “Sharing your pain with others won’t make it disappear, but it will, over time, make it more bearable. Sibling mourners have told me they find it particularly helpful to talk to others who have experienced the death of a sibling. From our common bond comes hope for our mutual healing.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

19. “This first need of mourning requires you to gently confront the difficult reality that your sibling is dead and will never physically be present to you again.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

Related: How To Help A Grieving Friend? 6 Things to Avoid Saying to a Grieving Person

20. “At times you may push away the reality of your sibling’s death. This is normal. You will come to integrate the reality, in doses, as you are ready.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

21. “Always remember that your pain is normal and necessary. You are not being “overly emotional” if you feel devastated after the death of a sibling. You are not being irrational. You are not weak or immature. The bond between siblings can run very deep, and its history tells, in large part, the story of who you are.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

22. “To heal, you need to actively remember the sibling who died and commemorate the life that was lived.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

23. “Never let anyone take your memories away in a misguided attempt to save you from pain. It’s good for you to continue to display photos of your brother or sister. It’s good for you to talk about your sibling’s life and death. It’s good for you to hold onto objects that belonged to your sibling.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

Related: ACT For Grief and Loss: 6 Powerful Tools and Worksheets to Help You Move Forward with Grief – Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

24. “A large part of your self-identity was formed by the relationship you had with the sibling who died. For all (or most) of your life, you have been the brother or sister of the sibling who died. You have been a member of your family of origin.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

25. “A hole has been made in your identity. If your only sibling died, you may feel like an “only child.” Do you still have a surviving brother or sister? If so, how will you answer the common, casual question: “How many brothers and sisters do you have?” The way you defined yourself and the way society defines you is changed.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

26. “Remember that having faith or spirituality does not negate your need to mourn. Even if you believe in life after death or that your sibling has gone to “a better place,” you still have the right and the need to mourn this significant loss in your life. “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.”” – Alan D. Wolfelt

27. “Grieving siblings are especially forgotten. So, many grieving siblings are abandoned by their friends and family soon after the death.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

Related: Suicide Grief Stages – How Are They Different? (+10-Step Guide To Grieve Suicide Loss)

28. “The death of a sibling seems always to be a shock, whether the death was sudden or anticipated. Your sibling was and always will be one of the central figures in your life. Even siblings who aren’t seemingly close play a large psychological and emotional role in our lives.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

29. “If your sibling was the first significant person in your life to die, you may find yourself encountering grief and the harsh realities of death for the first time. This is never easy.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

30. “What do siblings represent? They are mirrors of our history and childhood; they are connections to the past; they are journeyers on parallel paths; they are affirmers of our very existence. When a sibling dies, all of these things are torn at the seams.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

31. “Now that one of your siblings has died, perhaps you can use your newfound perspective to strengthen your relationship with your surviving siblings. How much time might you have left together?” – Alan D. Wolfelt

32. “Of course, you are not alone in mourning this death. If your parents are still alive, they will be profoundly affected. If your sibling had a life partner and/or children, they will obviously need support as well. Friends and neighbors are probably grieving too.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

Related: Resilient Grieving: Best 17 Ways To Manage Grief In The Workplace (+FREE Grief Worksheets)

33. “You may find it helpful to identify people who have not only survived the death of an adult sibling but who have learned to live more deeply as a result.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

34. “Feelings of relief after a prolonged or painful illness is ended by death are very common. It is perfectly normal and understandable to want your sibling’s suffering to end and your life to return to normal.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

35. “Of course, you’ve probably found that your life is not “normal” anymore. Your sibling has died. Your life is forever changed. And even though you were anticipating the death, you may still feel shocked when it actually happens. No one is ever really prepared for the death of someone loved.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

36. “If the death was recent, you may be worried if all you can seem to remember or think about is your sibling’s suffering and death. Rest assured that in time, you will once again recall happier, gentler memories.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

37. “The sudden death of a sibling, like any sudden death, comes as a shock. For a while, the death may seem completely unreal and dreamlike. You may feel as if your brother or sister will phone or walk through your door at any moment.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

38. “If you and your sibling rarely communicated with one another, you may still feel a surprisingly deep sense of loss. After all, someone with whom you once shared a family and a home is now gone forever. It is too late to reconnect.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

39. “If your relationship with your sibling was strained due to differences in values, personality or lifestyle, you may feel a mixture of feelings after her death. You may feel angry about the choices she made.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

40. “Whatever you do, DO NOT get rid of linking objects that remind you of the sibling who died. If you need to box some of them up for a time, do so. Later, when you are ready, you will likely find that displaying linking objects in your home is a way to remember the sibling who died and honor your ongoing feelings of love and loss.” – Alan D. Wolfelt

Related: Grieving Someone Who Is Still Alive – Ambiguous Grief

Grief WorkSheets

References

  • Portions of this article were adapted from the book Healing The Adult Sibling Grieving Heart, © 2005 by Alan D. Wolfelt. All rights reserved.

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