This post contains some of the best social intelligence quotes.
What Is Social Intelligence?
It was psychologist Edward Thorndike who created the original formulation of “social intelligence” in 1920.
One way he defined social intelligence was as “the ability to understand and manage men and women.”
However, pure manipulation —valuing only what works for one person at the expense of the other—should not constitute social intelligence.
Social Intelligence Quotes
1. ““Social intelligence” has become ripe for rethinking as neuroscience begins to map the brain areas that regulate interpersonal dynamics.” – Daniel Goleman
2. “A fuller understanding of social intelligence requires us to include “non-cognitive” aptitudes—the talent, for instance, that lets a sensitive nurse calm a crying toddler with just the right reassuring touch, without having to think for a moment about what to do.” – Daniel Goleman
3. “Although the goal of most people who are in pursuit of developing their social intelligence is to be heard and understood, there is power in learning from others too.”– John Ward
4. “Authenticity plays a big role in being able to develop your self-awareness and self-esteem. Both of which are important aspects of honing your social intelligence.”– John Ward
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5. “Being socially literate is not something you are simply born with. You can develop the right set of skills to harness it and that is what this book aims to provide you with.”– John Ward
6. “Businesses are on the front lines of applying social intelligence. As people work longer and longer hours, businesses loom as their substitute family, village, and social network—yet most of us can be tossed out at the will of management. That inherent ambivalence means that in more and more organizations, hope and fear run rampant.” – Daniel Goleman
7. “By listening to and observing others, you can help nurture your social intelligence. The mere act of paying attention to others without necessarily opening up is a very effective way to learn how to establish successful interpersonal relationships.”– John Ward
8. “Collective social intelligence can offer an alternative to the overwhelming toll of caregiving.” – Daniel Goleman
9. “Communication plays a big role in improving your social intelligence and effective communication may mean the difference between a successful and a failed social relationship.”– John Ward
10. “Concern reflects a person’s capacity for compassion. Manipulative people can be skilled in other abilities of social intelligence, but they fail here.” – Daniel Goleman
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11. “Conventional ideas of social intelligence have too often focused on highroad talents like social knowledge, or the capacity for extracting the rules, protocols, and norms that guide appropriate behavior in a given social setting.” – Daniel Goleman
12. “Emotional and social intelligence can simply give you the tools to understand and manage your social interactions better. You are not required to feed anyone else’s ego if it already consumes too much of you. Empathy does not mean you have to rescue people. Empathizing with people only means you are able to see the other person’s reasoning as influenced by his emotions.”– John Ward
13. “Focusing on paying attention to others is challenging. No one ever said it was easy but it is necessary if you want to improve on your social intelligence.”– John Ward
14. “Fostering professional and personal relationships can be quite a challenge to some. However, there are people who seem to just breeze right through the process. The task of socializing and connecting seem so effortless to them. Have you ever wondered what makes these people different? The answer to that is social intelligence.” – John Ward
15. “However, the very reason why people are able to improve their lives through social intelligence is that they recognize that they are not the only people who matter in this world.”– John Ward
16. “Now that we’ve surveyed the terrain of social intelligence, the question arises: can we improve such essential human talents? Particularly when it comes to low-road capacities, this challenge may seem daunting.” – Daniel Goleman
17. “Probably the biggest hurdle when it comes to being authentic and sticking to your personal brand is when you start trying to get other people’s approval. That said, it can keep you further away from improving your social intelligence.”– John Ward
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18. “Social intelligence can be challenging to master but if you approach it proactively, you can reap the benefits more quickly”– John Ward
19. “Social intelligence gives individuals the ability to approach social situations better by equipping them with the ability to assess all the elements in these interactions.”– John Ward
20. “Social intelligence shows itself abundantly in the nursery, on the playground, in barracks and factories and salesrooms, but it eludes the formal standardized conditions of the testing laboratory.” – Edward Thorndike
21. “Some children of depressed mothers learn another lesson, one that has adaptive qualities. Many of these children become exquisite readers of their mother’s shifting emotions and as adults are artful at handling their interactions to keep them as pleasant (or minimally upsetting) as possible. Taken into the larger world, those skills can translate into a hard-earned social intelligence.” – Daniel Goleman
22. “Some people are all self-presentation, with no substance to back it up. The varieties of social intelligence are no substitute for the other kinds of expertise that a given role may call for. As I overheard one businessman say to another over lunch while we shared seats at a Manhattan sushi bar, “He’s got that ability to make people like him. But you couldn’t pick a worse person—he’s got no follow-up tech skills.”” – Daniel Goleman
23. “Such deep listening seems to be a natural aptitude. Still, as with all social intelligence dimensions, people can improve their attunement skills.” – Daniel Goleman
24. “The biggest mistake you will ever make if you’re just starting to learn about social intelligence is prioritizing other people’s issues. Remember, if there’s one thing you are sure to have control over, it is yourself.”– John Ward
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25. “The first requirement in social intelligence is that you see people for who they are. This includes their identity, their feelings, and their actions. When we only look at their function in our everyday transactions, it is impossible to have a meaningful relationship with them.”– John Ward
26. “The golden rule is still in effect when it comes to social intelligence. Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you.”– John Ward
27. “The good news is that social intelligence can be developed. It is not set and it can be worked on as long as you have the right mindset for it.”– John Ward
28. “The heart of social interactions is effective communication. It is very important to improve your communication skills if you want to develop your social intelligence.”– John Ward
29. “The very reason why humans are capable of gaining social intelligence is that they have the capacity of interacting and being understood by others. This is how we are able to form relationships and participate in social organizations.”– John Ward
30. “Those students who did stop to help were exhibiting another sign of social intelligence: concern.” – Daniel Goleman
31. “We might think of “social intelligence” as a shorthand term for being intelligent not just about our relationships but also in them.” – Daniel Goleman
32. “You should hone your conflict resolution skills to further improve your social intelligence.”– John Ward
33. “Your social intelligence grows as you accept and understand the fact that everyone is built in a different way. It is counterproductive to ask others to adjust according to your orientation and standards.”– John Ward
34. “Learning when and how to let go is a part of social intelligence. It is not easy to let go of the past. This includes the trauma, bad habits, disillusionment, unhealthy relationships, and toxic people we have encountered before. But did you hear all of that was mentioned? They are all negative experiences.” – John Ward
35. “Emotional and Social Intelligence are lifelong learning endeavors. You must constantly evolve and grow.” – John Ward
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36. “Whether we like it or not, life in the twenty-first century demands unprecedented levels of emotional and social intelligence.” – Linda Kohanov
37. “Social intelligence involves accurately reading people’s feelings and using this information thoughtfully. This also requires noticing when you’re catching an emotion or body posture that originated in someone else.” – Linda Kohanov
38. “With regard to emotional and social intelligence, it’s essential to pay attention to the difference between setting boundaries (holding your ground or protecting territory, space, or resources) and motivating others (using assertiveness to influence others’ behavior or direct them to take action to reach a specific goal). Both activities involve a skillful use of power. You can avoid adding aggression, shame, blame, and resentment to these activities by “dialing your power up” progressively (crescendo) and then acknowledging achievement of the desired response with immediate positive feedback.” – Linda Kohanov
39. “Social intelligence is the ability to get along well with others and for them to get along well with you. It’s often referred to simplistically as “people skills,” but it’s a bit more complex than that. Social intelligence involves the ability to “read” people.” – Arie Kaplan
40. “Social intelligence makes you aware of the social dynamics that govern various situations. It helps you to come up with effective strategies that can help you achieve your goals in dealing with others.” – Arie Kaplan
42. “Reducing your social anxiety can be done in such a way that it actually enhances your social intelligence. This is because there’s a relationship between social intelligence and social anxiety. Social anxiety is about looking inward too much, and social intelligence is about embracing the world around you.” – Arie Kaplan
43. “Think of social intelligence as occupying a happy medium between passivity and aggressiveness. It combines the gentleness of the former with the confi-dence and take-charge attitude of the latter.” – Arie Kaplan
44. “Once you’ve increased your social intelligence skills, you’ll find that your behavior will be nurturing and nourishing to those around you, rather than toxic. You will develop and strengthen relationships, and those around you will feel respected, appreciated, and valued. This is because you’ll be noticing the effect your actions have on others. As a result, you’ll act more friendly, considerate, and cooperative toward them.” – Arie Kaplan
45. “Having high social intelligence is partially about increasing your selfawareness and carefully monitoring and editing your words, thoughts, behaviors, and attitudes.” – Arie Kaplan
