This post contains some of the best toxic narcissistic mother quotes that will make you feel seen.
Who Is The Narcissist?
Narcissists are people who have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy.
Although narcissists appear ultra confident, their grandiosity only serves as a mask to hide their fragile self-esteem.
Is your mother a narcissist? Take this quiz to find out: Is My Mother A Narcissist Quiz
Narcissism: Is It Too Much Self-Love?
Most people associate narcissism with excessive self-love and grandiosity, but while narcissism may involve grandiosity, the narcissist self-love is extremely shallow and depends on other people to fuel it. However, narcissistic hunger for perfect attention and admiration can never be satisfied.
Narcissism is better viewed as a continuum from self-interest to excessive self-absorption and entitlement. Narcissists are not inherently evil.
Sadly, their wounds push them to act in unconscionable and, sometimes, damaging ways. This isn’t to excuse their behavior, but to better understand them and learn how you can avoid raising a narcissist.
Toxic Narcissistic Mother Quotes
1. “A child should never feel as if they need to earn a mother’s love.” — Sherrie Campbell
2. “A toxic mother talks but never listens, and she gives advice but never takes any.” — Sherrie Campbell
3. “An unloving mother robs the child of a sense of belonging. The need to belong can become a lifelong quest for him or her.” ―Peg Streep
4. “Apparently, my parents were not worried about me being sick, because they did not suggest any such thing. My sickness was nothing but a failure of character” ― Diana Macey
5. “As long as you continue to react so strongly to them, you give them the power to upset you, which allows them to control you.” ― Susan Forward
6. “Boys and girls of narcissistic mothers both have to deal with a deficit of maternal nurturing that their upbringing lacked.” ― Mark Bans Chick
7. “By undermining you they make sure that if you complain about the narcissistic parent nobody will believe you, because they already have a certain negative image of you. Again, this abusive behaviour is just how narcissists live day to day. The plotting and manipulation is necessary to twist others around their false image.” ― Diana Macey
8. “Covert narcissists prey on people with the right weaknesses for them to exploit. This is why the abuse is wrapped in a pretence of care, and they can get people fooled for a very long time.” ― Diana Macey
9. “Denial is the lid on our emotional pressure cooker: the longer we leave it on, the more pressure we build up. Sooner or later, that pressure is bound to pop the lid, and we have an emotional crisis.” ― Susan Forward
10. “Dysfunctional parents do not apologise. It is one feature that the children of narcissists would instantly agree on. They will lie and justify themselves, but never accept they did anything wrong.” ― Diana Macey
11. “Family is supposed to be our safest haven. Very often, it’s the place we find the deepest heartache.” — Lyanla Vansant
12. “Getting angry when something about their behaviour is challenged in the nicest way, is a typical reaction of a narcissistic parent.” ― Diana Macey
13. “Growing up and trying to have your own values and personality is not received well, and the narcissistic parent will try to sabotage you any way they can.” ― Diana Macey
14. “How to tell if someone is not good for you? You being yourself feels like a betrayal.” — Unknown
15. “I was worthy of her love whether she gave it to me or not. Every child is worthy of love.” ― Richard Paul Evans
“If all toxic moms understood the difference between healthy motherly love and toxic destructive love, they wouldn’t be toxic in the first place.” – Samuel Zulu
16. “If someone gets angry at you for setting a boundary, consider that a good sign that the boundary was necessary.” — Jenna Korf
17. “If you have to parent your mother and put up with her childish and selfish behaviors, it may be time to create more serious boundaries for your own self-protection.” — Barrie Davenport
18. “In the academic literature, making children responsible for the emotional well-being of the parents was referred to as emotional incest. It is a heavy burden for young children because they do not even know how to look after their own emotions yet.” ― Diana Macey
19. “It made me feel responsible, as well as the usual ‘everything we do is for you.’ I felt bad they had to work so hard to buy food and clothes for me, and I felt I had to justify my existence and repay them somehow.” ― Diana Macey
20. “It makes me feel good when people tell me how well you behave …,’ she used to say. When she was upset with me she used to threaten me with ‘You are going to make me sick, and I am going to die, and what are you going to do then?” ― Diana Macey
21. “Just because someone gives you life doesn’t mean they will love you in the right way.” — Unknown
22. “My toxic mother can only intimidate me if I let her. While she’s busy trying to bully the child I, the adult I can reject her, ignore her or report her to authorities.” ― Rayne Wolf
23. “Narcissist mothers teach their daughters that love is not unconditional, that it is given only when they behave by maternal expectations and whims.” ― Dr McBride
24. “Narcissists don’t see their children as separate people that have a right to experience life from their own angle. There is no option in their heads in which the kids will be in charge of their own lives ‘unaided’ by the narcissist. …” ― Diana Macey
25. “Reasoning never works with narcissists. When caught in the game they get stroppy and angry. Their lack of emotional maturity and empathy is why the narcissistic parent cannot respond to the emotional needs of their children. They are too busy trying to get the validation they need, and that consumes a lot of their energy and effort.” ― Diana Macey
26. “Silent treatment cannot be argued with, it’s based on emotions and not on logic. The line of communication is cut off, and it means the existence of the child can be reduced to nothing.” ― Diana Macey
27. “Sometimes you need to give up on people, not because you don’t care but because they don’t.” — Unknown
28. “The truth is that the happier and stronger you are, the more unhappy the narcissistic parent is, because when you feel good they lose their grip over you, and the ability to shame you.” ― Diana Macey
29. “This is called crazy making, and it is what narcissists do. They push to provoke bad feelings, and when they do and their victim reacts, they feel better. Somehow they transfer their state of mind onto their victims.” ― Diana Macey
30. “To have the children behave in a pleasing manner, the narcissistic mothers use conditional love and fear, sending the message the kids will be shunned and the love taken away it they step out of line.” ― Diana Macey
31. “Toxic mothers always remain the strangest, craziest people we’ve ever met.” ― Marguerite Duras
32. “Toxic mothers plant seeds of guilt, low self-esteem, and low self-worth into their daughters which further manifests when those daughters get into their own relationships making them extremely needy or even toxic just like their own moms.” – Anonymous
33. “Very often, toxic moms will abandon their own children and find meaningless excuses to justify their deeds as to why they are not able to be there for their children.” – Anonymous
34. “When I was with my mother, I sometimes thought of myself as a trophy. something to be flaunted before friends. When out of public view, I sat on the shelf ignored and forgotten.” ― Joan Frances
35. “While a narcissistic mother will gossip endlessly about the most details about your life, she is very secretive about her own life. She will lie about you but will punish you for telling them what she has done.” ― Gail Meyers
36. “You do not owe anything to abusers.” ― Diana Macey
37. “You don’t have to feel guilty if you have to distance yourself for a while from your toxic mom if she becomes too toxic to be around her in peace without causing any drama.” – Anonymous
38. “An unpredictable parent is a fearsome god in the eyes of a child.” ― Susan Forward
39. “One day, you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” — Brené Brown
FREE Mother Wounds Worksheets
- 7 Signs of a Narcissistic Mother & How to Cope (choosingtherapy.com)
- Narcissistic Mothers: The Effects on Their Daughters and How to Heal (psychcentral.com)
- Narcissistic Mother: 12 Signs & Effects On Children (mindbodygreen.com)
- Healing the next generation: an adaptive agent model for the effects of parental narcissism – PMC (nih.gov)
- Narcissistic parent – Wikipedia
- Narcissism Driven by Insecurity, Not Grandiose Sense of Self, New Psychology Research Shows (nyu.edu)
- What New Research Is Telling Us About Narcissism | Psychology Today
- You Probably Think this Paper’s About You: Narcissists’ Perceptions of their Personality and Reputation – PMC (nih.gov)