What Is Love Bombing?
Love bombing is a pattern of intense interest and attention from one partner in order to manipulate and/or control the other using charm, romantic surprises, or jealousy.
Love bombing can be hard to spot because movies and fiction make us believe us that love bombing is normal and a sign of romantic love.
The following quiz can help you see through the smokescreen and identify if you’re being love bombed:
Am I Being Love Bombed Quiz
#1. Does your partner seem like an intense communicator (e.g., overwhelming you with texts, calls, DMs, and likes on social media)?
#2. Do they make you feel anxious when you spend time with others, demanding that you stay home, constantly checking in, or leaving you feeling so guilty that you’re having fun without them?
#3. Do they shower you with lavish gifts or romantic gestures, creating a sense of obligation to bond and lower your inhibitions quickly?
#4. Do they shower you with excessive praise and grandiose, overly indulgent compliments like, “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted!”?
#5. Do they seem excessively needy to the point of smothering you and crossing your boundaries and become withdrawn, angry, and even violent when not given what they want (e.g., they “demand” spending loads of time together, they “demand” sex when you’re not ready yet, etc.)?
#6. Does your relationship feels like it’s on fast forward (e.g., although you’re newly dating, you’ve moved in together, are engaged, talking about kids, they introduced you to important people, say “I love you” very fast, etc.)?
#7. Do they seem like they’re molding themselves to be who they think you want (i.e., always agreeing with everything you say, claiming to share same interests, etc.)?
Note: This test is not meant to act as a substitute for proper assessment.
Results
The questions above represent common signs of love bombing. If you answered yes to most of these questions, then you might be love-bombed.
Related: How To Break Free From Emotional Abuse? (& Stop Attracting Abusive Partners)
FREE Toxic Relationship Worksheets
How to Deal With Love Bombing?
Love bombing behavior can be overwhelming and sometimes hard to deal with.
Here are some ways you can manage it:
1. Recognize the signs of love bombing
Look out for signs like:
– Rapid and intense expressions of love and affection.
– Frequently showering you with gifts and compliments.
– Overwhelming attention, often ignoring your boundaries or personal space.
– An insistence on constant contact, including calls, texts, and emails.
– Isolating you from friends, family, and other support systems.
– Early declarations of love and future plans together.
– A tendency to be overly controlling or possessive.
2. Understand the intention behind love bombing
Love bombing is a manipulative tactic used to establish control over your thoughts and emotions.
The person engaging in love bombing often has a hidden agenda, seeking power, validation, or personal satisfaction.
Recognize that love bombing is not a sign of genuine love but rather an attempt to exploit vulnerability for their own gain.
Related: Love Bombing Then Ghosting: Top 9 Ways to Deal with It
3. Establish and maintain boundaries
Clearly define your personal boundaries and make them known to the other person.
Be assertive in communicating your needs and expectations.
Do not compromise your own well-being or values for the sake of appeasing the love bomber.
4. Take time for self-reflection
Engage in self-reflection to identify any underlying insecurities or vulnerabilities that may attract love bombers.
Work on developing self-confidence and self-worth independent of external validation.
Challenge any negative beliefs or thought patterns that may make you susceptible to manipulative tactics.
5. Seek support from trusted individuals
Reach out to friends, family, or support groups who can provide a sense of perspective and guidance.
Surround yourself with people who value and respect your boundaries.
Professional therapy or counseling can provide invaluable support in understanding and recovering from love bombing experiences.
Related: Breaking Trauma Bond With A Narcissist
6. Practice self-care and self-compassion
Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
Engage in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and a sense of fulfillment.
Practice self-compassion by being kind to yourself and forgiving any self-blame for getting involved in a love bombing relationship.
7. Limit or cut off contact
If possible and safe, consider reducing or cutting off contact with the love bomber.
Detaching from the manipulative relationship allows you to regain your sense of self and evaluate the situation objectively.
Establishing distance can also help break the cycle of manipulation and enable healing to occur.
Related: Top 10 Narcissist Discard Examples
8. Educate yourself about manipulation and healthy relationships
Learn about manipulation techniques and psychological dynamics that occur in unhealthy relationships.
Understanding the tactics employed by love bombers empowers you to recognize and avoid falling into similar patterns in the future.
Educate yourself about healthy relationship dynamics, setting realistic expectations, and maintaining open communication.
Conclusion
Love bombing is a manipulative tactic where an individual overwhelms another person with displays of affection, attention, and gifts in order to gain control over them.
This behavior may seem positive at first, but it is often used to exploit the victim’s emotions and push them into compliance or submission.
If you suspect that you are being love bombed, it is important to take a step back and evaluate the situation objectively. Take note of any red flags or inconsistencies in the person’s behavior. Consider seeking support from friends or family members to help you navigate the situation.
You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.
Do not let anyone manipulate or control you through love bombing tactics. Always prioritize your own well-being and safety.
References
- Love bombing – Wikipedia
- What is Love Bombing? – How to Tell If You’re Dating a Narcissist (cosmopolitan.com)
- 8 Love Bomb Signs To Know and Avoid in Relationships | Well+Good (wellandgood.com)
- 12 Signs Of Love Bombing & Why It’s A Problem In Relationships | mindbodygreen
- Love Bombing: 10 Signs to Know (healthline.com)
- Love Bombing: The Dangerous Red Flag You May Miss (garbo.io)
- What Is Love Bombing? (verywellmind.com)
- Narcissism Driven by Insecurity, Not Grandiose Sense of Self, New Psychology Research Shows (nyu.edu)
- What New Research Is Telling Us About Narcissism | Psychology Today
- You Probably Think this Paper’s About You: Narcissists’ Perceptions of their Personality and Reputation – PMC (nih.gov)
