This post contains examples of common blame shifting phrases to watch out for.
What is Blame-Shifting?
Blame-shifting is a form of escaping responsibility.
Blame-shift is also often an emotionally abusive tactic the abuser uses to gaslight their victim and bring them down.
Many abusers who use blame-shifting find it difficult to take responsibility for their own behavior or emotions.
They may even blame their victim for their own circumstances.
In most cases, the abuser cannot bear the shame of facing themselves and would rather remain in denial.
Related: 5 Weird Things Covert Narcissists Do To Manipulate Their Victims
Blame-Shifting Phrases
1. “You are too insecure.”
2. “You made me do that.”
3. “I wouldn’t have gotten angry if you wouldn’t nag so much.”
4. “I wouldn’t have lied if you didn’t get upset.”
5. “I wouldn’t have said that if you didn’t provoke me.”
6. “You make me so upset.”
7. “You’re just trying to confuse me.”
Related: Am I Being Gaslighted Quiz (& How To Recover From Gaslighting In 10 Steps)
8. “You should have known how I would react.”
9. “You seem stressed. Not everyone can handle new responsibilities.”
10. “I’m the only one who’s responsible in this relationship.”
11. “This is why you don’t have friends.”
12. “You can’t take a joke.”
13. “The kids know you’re not a good parent.”
Related: Healing From Emotional Abuse In 12 Practical Steps
14. “You’re gaslighting me.”
15. “It’s your fault.”
16. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
17. “How dare you accuse me of doing that!”
18. “Why are you always bringing up the past?”
19. “I can’t have any negative emotions around you.”
20. “Stop exaggerating.”
21. “There is something seriously wrong with you.”
22. “You’re not perfect, either.”
Related: How To Stop Being Emotionally Abusive? Top 10 Strategies To Break The Cycle Of Abuse
23. “This is how you treat me after everything I’ve done for you?”
24. “You always have to be right.”
25. “Don’t put words into my mouth.”
26. “Your divorce has taken a toll on me.”
27. “Stop trying to mother me.”
28. “Why do you always have to argue with me?”
29. “You read into things too much.”
30. “You always do this.”
Related: Can Abusers Change? Top 17 Myths About Abusive Men That Make Women Stay With Abusers
31. “Why are you like this?”
32. “I never said that! you’re hurting me for even suggesting that!”
33. “Oh, so I guess I can’t say anything anymore.”
34. “Show a little respect.”
35. “You’re so ungrateful.”
Conclusion
Blame-shifting is a form of crazy making and twisting facts.
The abuser not only seeks to escape responsibility but also to shift the focus on you, get you off balance, and maintain all the power and control over the victim and their relationship.
