Best CBT Online Therapy (20% Discount)

Caregiving vs Caretaking (The Savior Complex)

Caregiving vs Caretaking

Savior complex, or white knight syndrome refers to the excessive need to caretake or save others.

It is also one trait of codependency.

Codependents are naturally giving, sacrificing, and consumed with the needs and desires of others.

What Is Savior Complex?

A savior complex, or white knight syndrome, refers to the need to “save” people by fixing their problems.

People with savior complex only feel good about themselves if they’re helping someone and expend so much of their energy and time to fix others to the point where they end up burning out.

Caretaking and Codependency

Caretaking is the hallmark of codependency.

Codependency can lead to anxiety, depression, and relationship issues.

Codependents may believe that the cause of their pain is outside of themselves, such as a partner or a troubled child. However, on closer examination, they can begin to see that their behaviors and thinking patterns are dysfunctional and are responsible for their pain.

Childhood shame and trauma can make codependents develop a persona that reacts to their imagined ideal of who they should be in order to feel acceptable to others and to themselves.

Read: What Causes Codependency? Top 6 Reasons You May Be Codependent

You may not be aware of your self-criticism, but it still operates beneath your conscious awareness.

Because of their low self-esteem and lack of boundaries, codependents may tolerate being treated without respect and not feel entitled to compliments or to be truly loved. In fact, they may believe that they need to work so hard and do more than their in a relationship to earn love.

Shame and low sense self-worth may also cause codependents to deny their feelings and needs, both to themselves and in their relationships.

Because of their confusion around boundaries and responsibilities to themselves and to others, codependents believe that it’s the other person’s job to make them feel happy and loved just as it is their job to make others happy. This usually causes resentment and unfulfillment.

Read: Codependency And Enmeshment: 9 Signs You May Be In An Enmeshed Relationship

Caregiving vs Caretaking

Healthy caregiving

Healthy caregiving entails listening to other people’s feelings and needs and allowing them to find their own solutions.

This means respecting the other person’s separateness and boundaries and offering support without feeling the guilt or urge to fix their problems.

You recognize that it isn’t your job to save people or change them.

Caretaking

Caretaking is a dysfunctional behavior that is rooted in insecurity and a need to be in control. It comes with strings attached and leaves you feeling exhausted and frustrated.

Read: Best 9 Tips On How To Receive More In Life And Relationships?

CaretakingCaregiving
It leaves you feeling exhausted and frustrated.It energizes you and inspires you to give more.
It crosses boundaries.It honors boundaries.
It comes with strings attached.It gives freely.
It doesn’t consider the caretaker’s needs.It honors the caregiver’s needs.
Caretakers believe they know what’s best for the other person.Caregivers listen to other people’s needs.
Caretakers don’t trust others’ abilities to care for themselves.Caregivers trust other’s ability to solve their own problems
Caretakers tend to attract needy people.Caregivers tend to attract emotionally healthy people.

Read: Why Nice Guys Suck? Best 19 Practical Strategies To Stop Being The Nice Guy

Conclusion

To summarize, caretaking comes with strings attached and is rooted in insecurity and a need to be in control.  Caregiving gives freely and is an expression of love.

Affordable Online Therapy: Do You Need Professional Help?

Visit Online-Therapy.com Today

Can’t Afford Therapy?

Our Worksheets Will Help Support Your Mental Health

If you feel suicidal, please check out this list of hotlines.


A small request – Please share this post if you like it!

1 share helps this post reach more people and help us grow.

References

Subscribe
Notify of
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments