Do you find yourself always giving more in relationships—while others take without giving back? Do you feel like you’re the one who checks in, makes plans, and supports others—but rarely gets the same effort in return?
If so, you may be stuck in a pattern of attracting one-sided relationships. These relationships leave you feeling drained, unappreciated, and emotionally exhausted because the balance of effort is completely off.
The good news? You don’t have to keep living this cycle. By understanding why this happens and how to shift your mindset, you can start attracting mutual, healthy relationships where you are valued—not just used.
Signs You’re in a One-Sided Relationship
- You always initiate conversations & plans.
- If you don’t reach out, the other person never checks in first.
- You give more emotional support than you receive.
- You’re their therapist, problem-solver, and emotional rock—but they don’t show up for you the same way.
- You make excuses for their lack of effort.
- You tell yourself, “They’re just busy” or “That’s just how they are”—even though it hurts.
- You feel emotionally drained after interacting with them.
- Instead of feeling fulfilled, you feel unseen and unappreciated.
- They only reach out when they need something.
- They disappear when you need support, but when they need help, they expect you to be there.
- Your needs and feelings don’t seem to matter to them.
- When you express concerns, they dismiss, ignore, or invalidate them.
- You fear that if you stop trying, the relationship will fade.
- You worry that if you stop being the one who holds things together, the relationship will end.
If these signs resonate with you, you deserve better. Let’s break the cycle.
Related: How to Avoid A Low Value Man & Find The Right One?
Why Do You Keep Attracting One-Sided Relationships?
If you repeatedly attract relationships where you give more than you receive, it’s not bad luck—it’s a pattern. Here’s what might be causing it:
1. You Were Taught That Love Has to Be Earned
If you grew up feeling like you had to work for love, approval, or attention, you may unconsciously believe:
“I have to give more to be loved.”
This leads to overgiving in relationships while accepting the bare minimum.
2. You Struggle With Boundaries
If you don’t set clear limits on what you will and won’t tolerate, people will naturally take advantage.
A lack of boundaries invites unbalanced relationships.
Related: Top 7 Tips On Setting Boundaries With An Ex When In A New Relationship
3. You Fear Rejection or Abandonment
Deep down, you might fear that if you stop giving so much, people will leave.
This fear keeps you overextending yourself just to keep relationships alive.
4. You’re Naturally a Giver (But Attract Takers)
If you’re empathetic, kind, and naturally want to help others, you might unintentionally attract selfish or emotionally unavailable people who take advantage of your generosity.
5. You Avoid Confrontation or Asking for More
If you don’t feel comfortable asking for what you need, you’ll end up accepting relationships where your needs are ignored.
If you relate to any of these, don’t blame yourself. You’re not “too nice” or “too sensitive”—you just need to shift your approach so that you attract people who give as much as they receive.
Related: Best 9 Tips On How To Receive More In Life And Relationships?
How to Stop Attracting One-Sided Relationships & Find Mutual Love
1. Start Recognizing What Healthy Relationships Look Like
A real relationship is balanced and mutual.
You shouldn’t have to chase, prove your worth, or overcompensate just to keep someone around.
A healthy relationship includes:
- Mutual effort (both people initiate and check in)
- Respect for each other’s time and energy
- Emotional support that goes both ways
- Feeling seen, heard, and valued
Related: Relationship Red Flags Quiz
2. Set & Enforce Clear Boundaries
Boundaries are NOT about pushing people away—they’re about teaching people how to treat you.
If someone can’t respect your boundaries, they don’t deserve a place in your life.
Try this:
If they never initiate, stop always being the one to reach out. See what happens.
If they only come to you for help, say:
“I care about you, but I can’t always be your emotional support system. Can we also talk about what’s going on in my life?”
If they ignore your needs, that’s a sign to walk away.
3. Stop Over-Giving to People Who Give Nothing in Return
If you’re always giving, helping, fixing, or supporting, but they never reciprocate—stop.
A relationship should feel like a two-way street, not a one-way effort.
Try this:
Ask yourself: “If I stopped trying, would this relationship still exist?”
If the answer is no, that means the relationship is built on your effort alone.
You deserve friendships and love that don’t require you to exhaust yourself.
Related: Best 12 First Month Of Dating Tips – According To Science
4. Speak Up About Your Needs (Without Fear)
If you’re used to one-sided relationships, you may feel guilty asking for more.
But your needs matter—you’re not “too much” for wanting emotional reciprocity.
Try this:
Instead of staying silent, practice saying:
“I love being there for you, but I also need support sometimes.”
Notice how they respond:
If they listen and adjust, they value you.
If they dismiss you, they don’t respect you.
If someone refuses to meet you halfway, they’re showing you who they are. Believe them.
Related: Top 10 Emotional Needs Of A Woman & A Man In A Relationship
5. Choose Relationships That Feel Easy, Not Draining
The right people won’t make you feel exhausted, insecure, or unimportant.
Real love and friendship should feel balanced, peaceful, and fulfilling.
Try this:
Pay attention to who energizes you vs. who drains you.
Invest in people who make you feel valued, loved, and supported.
Healthy relationships don’t feel like emotional labor—they feel like home.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve been stuck in one-sided relationships, know this:
You are not asking for too much. You are just asking the wrong people.
Let go of relationships that only survive because of your effort.
