Top 100 Toxic Narcissistic Mother Quotes That Will Make You Feel Seen

This post contains some of the best toxic narcissistic mother quotes that will make you feel seen.

Who Is The Narcissist?

Narcissists are people who have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy.

Although narcissists appear ultra confident, their grandiosity only serves as a mask to hide their fragile self-esteem.

Is your mother a narcissist? Take this quiz to find out: Is My Mother A Narcissist Quiz

Narcissism: Is It Too Much Self-Love?

Most people associate narcissism with excessive self-love and grandiosity, but while narcissism may involve grandiosity, the narcissist self-love is extremely shallow and depends on other people to fuel it. However, narcissistic hunger for perfect attention and admiration can never be satisfied.

Narcissism is better viewed as a continuum from self-interest to excessive self-absorption and entitlement. Narcissists are not inherently evil.

Sadly, their wounds push them to act in unconscionable and, sometimes, damaging ways. This isn’t to excuse their behavior, but to better understand them and learn how you can avoid raising a narcissist.

Toxic Narcissistic Mother Quotes

1. “A child should never feel as if they need to earn a mother’s love.” — Sherrie Campbell

2. “A toxic mother talks but never listens, and she gives advice but never takes any.” — Sherrie Campbell

3. “An unloving mother robs the child of a sense of belonging. The need to belong can become a lifelong quest for him or her.” ―Peg Streep

4. “Apparently, my parents were not worried about me being sick, because they did not suggest any such thing. My sickness was nothing but a failure of character” ― Diana Macey

5. “As long as you continue to react so strongly to them, you give them the power to upset you, which allows them to control you.” ― Susan Forward

6. “Boys and girls of narcissistic mothers both have to deal with a deficit of maternal nurturing that their upbringing lacked.” ― Mark Bans Chick

7. “By undermining you they make sure that if you complain about the narcissistic parent nobody will believe you, because they already have a certain negative image of you. Again, this abusive behaviour is just how narcissists live day to day. The plotting and manipulation is necessary to twist others around their false image.” ― Diana Macey

8. “Covert narcissists prey on people with the right weaknesses for them to exploit. This is why the abuse is wrapped in a pretence of care, and they can get people fooled for a very long time.” ― Diana Macey

9. “Denial is the lid on our emotional pressure cooker: the longer we leave it on, the more pressure we build up. Sooner or later, that pressure is bound to pop the lid, and we have an emotional crisis.” ― Susan Forward

10. “Dysfunctional parents do not apologise. It is one feature that the children of narcissists would instantly agree on. They will lie and justify themselves, but never accept they did anything wrong.” ― Diana Macey

11. “Family is supposed to be our safest haven. Very often, it’s the place we find the deepest heartache.” — Lyanla Vansant

12. “Getting angry when something about their behaviour is challenged in the nicest way, is a typical reaction of a narcissistic parent.” ― Diana Macey

13. “Growing up and trying to have your own values and personality is not received well, and the narcissistic parent will try to sabotage you any way they can.” ― Diana Macey

14. “How to tell if someone is not good for you? You being yourself feels like a betrayal.” — Unknown

15. “I was worthy of her love whether she gave it to me or not. Every child is worthy of love.” ― Richard Paul Evans

“If all toxic moms understood the difference between healthy motherly love and toxic destructive love, they wouldn’t be toxic in the first place.” – Samuel Zulu

16. “If someone gets angry at you for setting a boundary, consider that a good sign that the boundary was necessary.” — Jenna Korf

17. “If you have to parent your mother and put up with her childish and selfish behaviors, it may be time to create more serious boundaries for your own self-protection.” — Barrie Davenport

18. “In the academic literature, making children responsible for the emotional well-being of the parents was referred to as emotional incest. It is a heavy burden for young children because they do not even know how to look after their own emotions yet.” ― Diana Macey

19. “It made me feel responsible, as well as the usual ‘everything we do is for you.’ I felt bad they had to work so hard to buy food and clothes for me, and I felt I had to justify my existence and repay them somehow.” ― Diana Macey

20. “It makes me feel good when people tell me how well you behave …,’ she used to say. When she was upset with me she used to threaten me with ‘You are going to make me sick, and I am going to die, and what are you going to do then?” ― Diana Macey

21. “Just because someone gives you life doesn’t mean they will love you in the right way.” — Unknown

22. “My toxic mother can only intimidate me if I let her. While she’s busy trying to bully the child I, the adult I can reject her, ignore her or report her to authorities.” ― Rayne Wolf

23. “Narcissist mothers teach their daughters that love is not unconditional, that it is given only when they behave by maternal expectations and whims.” ― Dr McBride

24. “Narcissists don’t see their children as separate people that have a right to experience life from their own angle. There is no option in their heads in which the kids will be in charge of their own lives ‘unaided’ by the narcissist. …” ― Diana Macey

25. “Reasoning never works with narcissists. When caught in the game they get stroppy and angry. Their lack of emotional maturity and empathy is why the narcissistic parent cannot respond to the emotional needs of their children. They are too busy trying to get the validation they need, and that consumes a lot of their energy and effort.” ― Diana Macey

26. “Silent treatment cannot be argued with, it’s based on emotions and not on logic. The line of communication is cut off, and it means the existence of the child can be reduced to nothing.” ― Diana Macey

27. “Sometimes you need to give up on people, not because you don’t care but because they don’t.” — Unknown

28. “The truth is that the happier and stronger you are, the more unhappy the narcissistic parent is, because when you feel good they lose their grip over you, and the ability to shame you.” ― Diana Macey

29. “This is called crazy making, and it is what narcissists do. They push to provoke bad feelings, and when they do and their victim reacts, they feel better. Somehow they transfer their state of mind onto their victims.” ― Diana Macey

30. “To have the children behave in a pleasing manner, the narcissistic mothers use conditional love and fear, sending the message the kids will be shunned and the love taken away it they step out of line.” ― Diana Macey

31. “Toxic mothers always remain the strangest, craziest people we’ve ever met.” ― Marguerite Duras

32. “Toxic mothers plant seeds of guilt, low self-esteem, and low self-worth into their daughters which further manifests when those daughters get into their own relationships making them extremely needy or even toxic just like their own moms.” – Anonymous

33. “Very often, toxic moms will abandon their own children and find meaningless excuses to justify their deeds as to why they are not able to be there for their children.” – Anonymous

34. “When I was with my mother, I sometimes thought of myself as a trophy. something to be flaunted before friends. When out of public view, I sat on the shelf ignored and forgotten.” ― Joan Frances

35. “While a narcissistic mother will gossip endlessly about the most details about your life, she is very secretive about her own life. She will lie about you but will punish you for telling them what she has done.” ― Gail Meyers

36. “You do not owe anything to abusers.” ― Diana Macey

37. “You don’t have to feel guilty if you have to distance yourself for a while from your toxic mom if she becomes too toxic to be around her in peace without causing any drama.” – Anonymous

38. “An unpredictable parent is a fearsome god in the eyes of a child.” ― Susan Forward

39. “One day, you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” — Brené Brown

40. “It’s been difficult to understand your mother. Her personality was simply what you knew growing up, and you had nothing to compare it to. As an adult, you had a problem that people don’t talk about. To add to the mystery, when you are raised by a narcissistic mother, you learn to tune your attention to others instead of yourself.” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

41. “In the eyes of a narcissistic mother, her children exist solely to serve her ego and fulfill her needs.” – Unknown

42. “At their core, narcissistic mothers, like all narcissists, are driven by “pathological insecurity”” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

43. “Narcissistic mothers fall into two categories: Ignoring Mothers and Engulfing Mothers.” – Danu Morrigan

44. “Dealing with a toxic narcissist as a mother is like constantly navigating a minefield of manipulation.” – Unknown

45. “The mother who has difficulties with empathy (really, all narcissistic mothers) struggles to recognize and truly understand her daughter’s feelings and needs. In contrast, she’s acutely sensitive to how other people make her feel.” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

46. “A toxic narcissistic mother feeds off control, leaving her children feeling suffocated and invalidated.” – Unknown

47. “Most of us, and certainly daughters of narcissistic mothers, know exactly how to berate and beat ourselves up in our minds. When we fall short or make a mistake, we say things to ourselves we would never say to a friend or loved one, probably things we would never even say to a stranger. It may be your own voice or your mother’s voice. Or perhaps the voices are so mixed up that it’s hard to distinguish them.” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

48. “Narcissistic mothers absolutely hate and resent your special days and successes. This makes sense when you think about it. Since everything is about her, then your graduation, your pregnancy, your baby, your book deal, your wedding, is almost a crime against nature. You’re trying to make it about you, when everything should always be about her.” – Danu Morrigan

49. “Narcissistic mothers will go as far as to sabotage their daughters’ success. The lift you need for the job interview somehow doesn’t materialise, for example. Or she might look at the paintings you’re going to offer to the gallery and dismiss them. ‘They’re quite nice’, she might say dismissively, and part of you dies and you don’t even bring them to the gallery to show them there.” – Danu Morrigan

50. “Many daughters of narcissistic mothers feel overwhelmed by anxious, self-critical thoughts about their difficult relationships with their mothers and themselves. They hear their mothers’ critical voice, reciting their flaws and mistakes, blaming them for their problems in their relationships. To make matters worse, they feel as if they should be able to stop these thoughts. What’s wrong with their minds?” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

51. “We daughters of narcissistic mothers believe we have to be there for them—and that it is our role to attend to their needs, feelings, and desires—even as young girls. We don’t feel that we matter to our mothers otherwise.” – Karyl McBride

52. “Narcissistic mothers hate our tragedies because, again, our tragedies are about us and everything has to be about them. So they can be downright callous and dismissive: ‘Get over the miscarriage already, the baby was probably deformed anyway.’” – Danu Morrigan

53. “Some narcissistic mothers divide their children in to two categories – that of Scapegoats who can do no right, and Golden Children who can do no wrong.” – Danu Morrigan

54. “Motherhood is still idealized in our culture, which makes it especially hard for daughters of narcissistic mothers to face their past. It’s difficult for most people to conceive of a mother incapable of loving and nurturing her daughter, and certainly no daughter wants to believe that of her own mother.”– Karyl McBride

55. “Both big and little girls want to please their mothers and feel their approval. Beginning early in life, it is important for children to receive attention, love, and approval—but the approval needs to be for who they are as individuals, not for what their parents want them to be. But narcissistic mothers are highly critical of their daughters, never accepting them for who they are.”– Karyl McBride

56. “Anger, like guilt, is an essential emotion, but one that’s often difficult to handle, especially for women and especially for daughters of narcissistic mothers.” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

57. “With a narcissistic mother, her “empathy” is her own emotions gone overboard, drowning out her daughter’s needs.” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

58. “Narcissistic mothers can apply a process called parentification to their children. This means that she will expect her daughter to act as her (the mother’s) parent, to provide comfort to her, to be a sounding board to her problems. So the mother might share age-inappropriate (or even just inappropriate) information with her daughter, like details about the mother’s own sex life, or details about her romantic relationships, or money worries. She might expect her daughter to take care of bills, or household chores beyond what is reasonable.” – Danu Morrigan

59. “Narcissistic mothers never apologise. Not properly. Again, it’s because in their own minds they are perfect and never do anything wrong, and so there is nothing to apologise for. If called on some inappropriate behaviour they will try gaslighting and invalidating to deflect the accusation.” – Danu Morrigan

60. “Like many daughters of narcissistic mothers, you may have worked hard at acceptance. You may have told yourself regularly: “I know she’s narcissistic. She’s not going to change.” However, as one daughter, Marlene, said: “I accept that my mother is narcissistic. So why don’t I feel better?” Acceptance seems like it should help, that it should somehow create feelings of peace and well-being. And yet for many women it doesn’t.” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

61. “Narcissistic mothers are very strange about presents. They are dreadful at buying presents for people around them, usually getting the most inappropriate gifts imaginable. This is for two reasons: first, they genuinely don’t know anyone as a person, so they’ve no idea what they’d like. And second, they really don’t care. If they were to start thinking about what the other person would like, they’d have to take time out from thinking of themselves and that, of course, cannot be” – Danu Morrigan

62. “Some people can let go of negative thoughts when they want to, just like they toss out junk mail, never to think of it again. Their motto is “Why worry?” If you’re like most daughters of narcissistic mothers, it’s unlikely that’s your style. It’s more likely that as you go about your day, you’re having a nonstop conversation in your mind, with yourself. And it’s not a kind, supportive conversation. Oh no.” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

63. “It’s possible that you struggle with issues related to being the daughter of a narcissistic mother and you have a common mental health problem, such as an anxiety disorder, depression, or trauma-related disorder.” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

64. “As the daughter of a narcissistic mother, you probably know the “something is wrong with you” feeling very well, even if you never put words to it. It knocks you off your feet out of nowhere, like the invisible undertow in the ocean. Maybe it follows you around like a silent you-shaped shadow. Perhaps you know just when to expect it. It’s predictable, but unwanted, like spring allergies or rush hour traffic.” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

65. ““It’s much better to look good than to feel good” could easily be a narcissistic mother’s mantra. Looking good to friends, family, and neighbors, rather than feeling good inside, is what’s most important to her.”– Karyl McBride

66. “Unfortunately, the relationship between the narcissistic mother and her daughter sets the stage for daughters to experience shame.” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

67. “As the daughter of a narcissistic mother, you may struggle with confusing feelings of pain, self-blame, and even despair about your relationship with your mother and her impact on you.” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

68. “Narcissists often see no boundaries at all. It’s not at all unheard of for the narcissistic mother to let herself into her daughter’s house and start re-arranging the kitchen cupboards. Or as we discussed before, to ask – and expect answers to – totally inappropriate questions about topics such as your sex-life, familyplanning decisions or finances. Or share equally inappropriate information about herself.” – Danu Morrigan

69. “Other factors complicate how empathetic a narcissistic mother can be. Narcissists may believe they are more empathetic than they actually are. They might not want to be empathetic because they fear loss of control or appearing vulnerable.” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

70. “Narcissistic mothers are also very, very sensitive to criticism. In one of many ironies that narcissism lends itself to, she may accuse you of being oversensitive and requiring that she walk on eggshells around you, but the truth is exactly the opposite – she is that very thing! Her ego is so fragile that she’s always on guard for any slights to it, and will react with all due force, i.e. Narcissistic Rage, to it.” – Danu Morrigan

71. “To validate means acknowledging our feelings with kindness and compassion. Most daughters of narcissistic mothers are much better at doing this for others than for themselves. Your self-talk might sound like: “It’s really hard to have it rain this whole week. It’s so disappointing.” If your secondary emotion of guilt kicks in, you might be tempted to invalidate yourself and say: “Don’t be a baby. Things can’t always go your way. That’s life.” The problem is that this makes us feel worse and can make us feel more frustrated and irritable. It can make it harder for us to treat ourselves, and then others, with compassion.” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

72. “As the daughter of a narcissistic mother, chances are you’re lacking confidence in a certain area of your life. Perhaps you don’t “own” or are even not aware of your strengths and unique abilities.” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

73. “When you’re a child, your appearance, hair, cleanliness, and clothing will all be impacted by the whims and needs of your narcissistic mother.”– Danu Morrigan

74. “Often women with a narcissistic parent have an inner critic or a voice of doubt that shows up in some important area of life. You may be tired of hearing the voice of self-doubt. It tells you to stay small and invisible and never to ask for help. It can be hard to tell if it’s your voice or your mother’s.” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

75. “Many daughters of narcissistic mothers feel uncomfortable acknowledging parts of themselves they feel proud of. Perhaps that “Who am I?” voice came up. Perhaps you weren’t sure what your strengths are. Whatever you are feeling, remember to offer yourself compassion.” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

76. “Depending on where they are on the narcissistic spectrum, narcissistic mothers have little, sporadic, or no insight into their emotions or capacity to manage them in appropriate ways.” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

77. “Other Narcissistic Mothers proactively make their daughters ugly, fearing the competition.”– Danu Morrigan

78. “When you grow up with a narcissistic mother, there is always loss and grief. You may lose close relationships with your siblings and everything that goes with that. If you are connected, you may still feel the sense of isolation that comes from not feeling understood outside your family. You may mourn the relationship with your mother you never had. You mourn the person you could have been if things had been different when you were growing up.” – Stephanie M. Kriesberg

79. “Narcissistic mothers often don’t bother to teach their daughters the skills they need to look after themselves, for example, personal care, and they don’t necessarily look after their daughters’ care either. The other extreme is that they expect their daughters to be responsible for themselves way too early in life.”– Danu Morrigan

80. “One trick that some narcissistic mothers do is to claim some lost, would-be huge success which was in her grasp but she had to give it up raise her children, i.e. you.”– Danu Morrigan

81. “A narcissistic mother sees you as an extension of herself, and if you look good, so does she. It may appear on the surface that she is concerned about you, but at the end of the day it is really all about her and the impression she makes upon others. How you look and act is important to her only because it reflects her own tenuous self-worth. Whenever you are not on display and can’t be seen by others, you become less visible to her. Sadly, how you feel inside is not really important to her.” – Karyl McBride

82. “An Enabling Father is, as the title suggests, one who enables your narcissistic mother’s behaviour. He will not protect you, nor rock the boat to even defend you. He might even proactively assist in her abuse of you, such as beating you on her command. He might try to ride both horses, whispering to you ruefully, ‘Ah, just put up with her, you know how she is,’ or, ‘You have to be the bigger person here,’ or, ‘Forgive and forget’.”– Danu Morrigan

83. “My narcissistic mother told me that it was easy for me to have friends since I only show them my good side, but the family knows the “whole” me. I have felt split in two for years…the “real” me (the awful, selfish, mean, ungrateful, angry, self-centred one) and the “other” me, the one where I am pretending not to be those other things! Isn’t that terrible?”– Danu Morrigan

84. “Mothers are usually proud of their children and want them to shine. But a narcissistic mother may perceive her daughter as a threat. You may have noticed that whenever you draw attention away from your mother, you’ll suffer retaliation, put-downs, and punishments.” – Karyl McBride

85. “Most, if not all, daughters of narcissistic mothers have very low selfesteem. Again, it’s not surprising. When you’re taught from birth that you don’t matter in any way, that your wants and even needs are irrelevant, then of course you’ll struggle to value yourself.”– Danu Morrigan

86. “A narcissistic mother can be jealous of her daughter for many reasons: her looks, material possessions, accomplishments, education, and even the girl’s relationship with her father. This jealousy is particularly difficult for her daughter, as it carries a double message: “Do well so that Mother is proud, but don’t do too well or you will outshine her.”” – Karyl McBride

87. “If you grew up with your narcissistic mother telling you who you were, creating you in her image, it can be very hard to know who you really are. You might struggle knowing even basic things about yourself such as your tastes in food, clothing, colours.”– Danu Morrigan

88. “Narcissistic mothers are so self-absorbed that they don’t recognize how their behavior affects other people, particularly their own children.” – Karyl McBride

89. “Lack of empathy is a trademark of narcissistic mothers. When a daughter grows up with a mother who is incapable of empathy, she feels unimportant; her feelings are invalidated. When this happens to a young girl, an older girl, or even a grown woman, she often gives up talking about herself or tuning in to her own feelings.” – Karyl McBride

90. “In many cases, too, the narcissistic mothers did not permit us to express happy emotions. Maybe she was threatened by happiness, maybe she resented us getting good feelings from elsewhere through them, who knows …”– Danu Morrigan

91. “Your narcissistic mother no doubt made everything about meeting her needs, as discussed above, and taught you that it was inappropriate for you to look for your needs to be met, or your desires to be honoured.”– Danu Morrigan

92. “It is very hard for an adult to get over being constantly criticized or judged as a child. We become overly sensitive about everything. Narcissistic mothers are often critical and judgmental because of their own fragile sense of self. They use their daughters as scapegoats for their bad feelings about themselves, and blame them for their own unhappiness and insecurity.” – Karyl McBride

93. “It’s okay to think of yourself and be concerned with your own doings and concerns. That is not narcissistic. It’s not surprising we think so, though. In a complete irony, our narcissistic mothers teach us, by word and deed, that it’s wrong of us to be concerned about our own concerns. Of course she did. The only ones whose concerns matter is – drum roll please – hers!”– Danu Morrigan

94. “A narcissistic mother’s criticisms create a deep feeling within her daughter that she is “never good enough.” It is incredibly hard to shake.” – Karyl McBride

95. “One issue you might have, however, is narcissistic tendencies or behaviours without being narcissistic at all. We call these fleas, because you catch them, i.e. learn them, from your narcissistic mother. We all learn so much from our parents about how to behave with others. And if what is modelled for us is narcissistic behaviour, then that’s all we know what to do.”– Danu Morrigan

96. “A narcissistic mother who constantly confides in her daughter about difficulties in her relationship with her husband, for example, does not understand how painful this can be for her child. The daughter knows that she shares traits with her father as well as her mother, so criticizing a young child’s father is like criticizing the daughter too.” – Karyl McBride

97. “Separating emotionally from your mother as you grow older is crucial to psychological growth, but a narcissistic mother does not allow her daughter to be a distinct individual. Rather, the daughter is there for her mother’s needs and wishes.” – Karyl McBride

98. “In order to become a healthy, mature, independent woman, a daughter needs to feel she has a separate sense of self, apart from her mother. Narcissistic mothers don’t comprehend this. Their own immaturity and unmet needs obstruct their daughters’ healthy individuation, which stunts emotional development.” – Karyl McBride

99. “Your narcissistic mother no doubt never allowed you to feel your authentic emotions and it’s part of your healing journey that you reverse that, and that you do feel your authentic emotions.”– Danu Morrigan

100. “What happened to you, i.e., the damage that was done to you by your narcissistic mother (or parents) is not your fault. What is your responsibility is the healing part (if you choose you want that, of course), fixing the damage that you didn’t cause. It’s so unfair that we have to do it, that it takes us so much time and energy to get to a place most people begin from. But it’s the reality of the toxic legacy.”– Danu Morrigan

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Who Is The Narcissist?

Narcissism: Is It Too Much Self-Love?

Toxic Narcissistic Mother Quotes

FREE Mother Wounds Worksheets

By Hadiah

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