How to Balance Feminine And Masculine Energy (+Dominant Energy Test)

Today you’re going to learn all about masculine vs feminine energy – discover your dominant energy and learn how to balance feminine and masculine energy so that you can live your life to the fullest.

Each one of us has two energies within ourselves: the masculine and the feminine.

The masculine energy makes us strong, confident, and independent. It helps us to operate in the outer world.

The feminine energy, on the other hand, makes it creative and intuitive. It helps us love and connect with others.

And while the two energies are essential, for most of us, one of these energies is stronger than the other.

This can create some issues. If you have more masculine energy, you might find it hard to stop working and let go of control.

On the other hand, if you have more feminine energy, you might struggle to make decisions and get things done.

But this has nothing to do with your biological sex. You can be a woman with strong masculine energy as you can be a man with strong feminine energy.

Having a balance of masculine and feminine energy makes you a winner in love and life.

When people describe their ideal partner, most of the time, they describe someone who has both energies.

A woman might describe the ideal man as someone who’s strong and ambitious, yet kind and sensitive. And a man might describe the ideal woman as sexy and playful, yet confident and independent.

This kind of balance can only be reached through understanding your own energy strength and working on incorporating characteristics of the opposite energy into you.

Societal Pressure

From the moment we are born, we pick up messages from our family and society about how we should behave.

Boys and girls are being treated differently. Boys are spoken to and hugged much less than girls.

Boys are encouraged to express more masculine energy which might come naturally – or it might not.

A sensitive boy might get laughed at for wanting to play with girls or wanting to do activities that are perceived as feminine.

Similarly, girls are encouraged to express more feminine energy.

They are being told early on that running around and playing rough with the boys isn’t what they should be doing. Instead, they should be gentle and caring. They should play with dolls and talk to other girls.

Related: Top 10 Emotional Needs Of A Woman & A Man In A Relationship (+FREE Relationship Worksheets)

Feminine And Masculine Energy Test: What’s Your Dominant Energy?

Your dominant energy is your strength energy when used wisely.

There are 4 different types of people:

• Feminine Strength Female

• Feminine Strength Male

• Masculine Strength Female

• Masculine Strength Male

So how to identify your dominant – or strength energy?

1. The Finger Test

Flatten out your right hand and look at your fingers.

Which is longer? Your index finger (next to your thumb) or your ring finger (next to your little finger)?

Masculine strength people tend to have the ring finger longer than their index finger. People with feminine strength energy tend to have the two fingers of the same length, or they have the index finger longer.

Scientists explain that the more testosterone you are exposed to in the womb, the longer your ring finger will be (*). The index finger, on the other hand, indicates the estrogen levels of a person.

While this test is very effective in indicating a person’s strength energy, it isn’t 100% accurate. There are always some exceptions.

2. Sex Drive Test

A great way to discover your dominant energy is by examining your sex drive.

Masculine strength male has a very strong sex drive. However, this is not the case with a masculine-strength female. She has other priorities and she’s too busy getting stuff done.

Feminine strength female has a high sex drive. To her sex is the time to express her love and herself. Feminine strength male, on the other hand, prioritizes intimacy and connection over sex.

Related: Best 35 Journal Prompts To Get To Know Yourself

Masculine Strength Energy
vs.
Feminine Strength Energy

Masculine Energy	Feminine Energy
Logical. Makes its choices based on rational and analytical thought processes.	Emotional. It is kind, loving, empathetic, and nurturing.
Confident. It takes action and takes responsibility. It is powerful, sometimes controlling, assertive, and decisive.	Intuitive. It is creative and sensitive.
Competitive. It is disciplined, determined, and goal-oriented. It is ambitious but can be impatient, judgmental, and jealous.	Free-Spirited. It lives in the moment and is spontaneous. It can be unpredictable, unreliable, and disorganized. It is usually not good with managing their finances.
Strong. It is strong physically and reliable emotionally.	Expressive. It connects easily with others. It communicates freely and easily.
Independent. It seeks freedom. It can be rebellious and dislike authority. It can struggle to connect with others and express their feelings.	Open. It is cooperative and trusting. It values others and is patient, but it can be naïve.

Related: Self-Abandonment: What Is It & How To Get Back In Touch With Yourself

Misconceptions About Feminine and Masculine Energy

The Feminine Energy Is Not Weak

We live in a world that celebrated masculine energy above all else. The word feminine is often associated with weakness.

If you’re a successful, career-driven woman, you might perceive it as sexism. If you’re a guy, you might believe that it makes you less of a man and feel like running away from it.

Masculine Energy Doesn’t Make you a Macho Idiot

At the same time, some men believe that it’s no longer socially acceptable to own their masculine energy. They believe that it makes them aggressive and that these days, men should show some sensitivity.

Being a masculine strength male or female doesn’t mean that you’re destined to be aggressive or cut off from your feelings. You can still be kind and loving.

In other words, you can use feminine energy without walking away from your natural strength that is allowing you to be ambitious and work hard to reach your goals.

How Do You Express Yourself?

The key is to own your natural strength and not fight it. If you have dominant feminine energy, remind yourself that it’s a strength to be caring, loving, and connected to others.

Likewise, if you have masculine strength energy, whether you’re a male or a female, remind yourself that it’s a strength to be ambitious and focused on getting what you want in life.

Your energy strength comes naturally to you, so you don’t have to work on it anymore. Instead, you need to work on building up your less-dominant energy to create a balance.

What comes most naturally to you? Are you more logical or more emotional?

Keep in mind that there is a spectrum of femininity and masculinity. You might fall on the extreme end – as you may be more balanced with more of the opposite energy in you.

The goal is to use your dominant energy and work on incorporating more of the opposite energy traits in order to draw on both energies equally and live a full and balanced life.

Related: Top 21 Emotional Writing Prompts To Process Emotions

1. Feminine Energy Traits In a Woman

The feminine strength female has lots of wonderful qualities like being kind, caring, empathetic, expressive and open, but she also has her good nature often taken advantage of and finds it hard to take control of her life and her finances.

Here are some of the feminine strength female common traits:

Empathetic

She has a great ability to love, nurture, and connect with other people. Making friends is something that comes naturally to her.

However, she tends to care deeply about others – so much so that she often puts other people’s needs before her own. Unsurprisingly, she prioritizes relationships over work.

Related: How To Become A Stronger Empath? Top 20 Actionable Empathy Exercises to Become More Empathetic

Free-spirited

The feminine strength female is a free spirit who wants to enjoy her life, not spend it stressed out.

Even though she works hard, she might find herself passing up promotions because she doesn’t want the extra responsibility or status.

Emotional

The feminine strength female is very sensitive and feels everything deeply.

Expressive

The feminine strength female has no problem sharing her feelings and expressing herself. She loves long phone calls and can spend hours just talking about how her day went.

Relaxed

The feminine strength female lives in the moment. She’s happy just to be, she doesn’t need to do anything. She rarely gets bored and loves people’s company as much as spending time alone.

Creative

The feminine strength female enjoys the finer things in life. Art, design, fashion and beauty are all important to her and uses it as a form of self-expression.

Curvaceous

Estrogen causes weight to distribute to the hips which creates an hourglass shape. It also reduces the size of the nose and the chin and increases the size of the eyes and the thickness of the lips.

Lacking Direction

Lack of direction makes the feminine strength female able to be spontaneous and go with the flow, but it also makes her feel lost at times. She struggles to make decisions and move towards her goals.

Struggles With Money Management

The feminine strength female doesn’t see her credit card limit as a place she should never get to, but as a target to hit. She can also find it hard to charge as much as she should or ask for pay rises. She doesn’t like to talk about money in general. But underneath her carefree attitude is a fear of facing up to financial realities and taking control.

Hates Confrontation

The feminine strength female is a people pleaser who will do anything to avoid confrontation. She never says directly what she thinks or needs.

Related: 21 Proven Ways to Stop People Pleasing (+Free Worksheets)

Do recognize any of these traits in yourself?

2. Feminine Energy Traits In a Man

Today’s world is more accepting of feminine strength males than ever before. It’s more acceptable for guys today to take care of their appearances and express their sensitivity.

Here are some of the feminine strength male common traits:

Charming

The feminine strength male finds it easy to talk to people and get them to open up. He’s also playful and fun.

Caring

The feminine strength male is caring and gentle. He’s a natural peacemaker and naturally empathetic. He also shows affection openly and is open to sharing his problems and emotions freely.

Stylish

The feminine strength male is usually conscious about his image. He loves taking care of his appearance and looking his best.

Cultured

The feminine strength male is more an arts-and-literature reader than a sports reader. He appreciates beauty in all its forms and likes the finer things in life.

Slender

It is possible that the feminine strength male doesn’t have a high level of testosterone as the masculine strength male does. This is why he’s likely to have finer features such as a rounder jaw and slim wrists.

 Likes Female Company

The feminine strength male likes female company whether it was for friendship or romance. He also tends to be drawn to stronger women. He loves it when others take control.

Disorganized

The feminine strength male struggles to plan and carry out his great ideas. He might start something and then loses interest halfway through or get distracted and never finishes.

Insecure

The feminine strength male doesn’t have much confidence and doubts himself in a way his masculine strength friends don’t.

Related: How To Stop Being Insecure & Gain Confidence Quickly?

Talks Big

The feminine strength male resorts to big talk in order to disguise his self-doubt. He has great ideas but the more he talks about them, the less likely he is to actually do anything.

Needy

Instead of building up his character, the feminine strength male looks to others to do it. He’s always seeking approval and can easily fall into the victim-mode.

Related: How To Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself? 10 Powerful Ways To Get Out Of Self-Pity

Friend Zoned

Because of his lack of confidence, the feminine strength male can find it hard to make the first move. He’s scared of rejection so he often talks himself out of it, convincing himself that the woman he likes is out of his league and instead becomes her friend.

Do recognize any of these traits in yourself?

3. Masculine Energy Traits In a Woman

The masculine strength female is hard-working, often juggling long hours and family. She’s focused, decisive and gets the job done, but often at a high price. She usually struggles to express her feelings and finds it hard to be empathetic which can affect her personal relationships.

Here are some of the masculine strength female common traits:

Tomboy

The masculine strength female prefers male company to female company. She likes being active and is more adventurous than her feminine strength female friends.

Athletic

The masculine strength female is naturally athletic. She tends to be competitive. She has higher levels of testosterone than the feminine strength females, which causes her to have a more straight up-and-down body.

Ambitious

The masculine strength female is very career-driven and is frustrated by the sexism she perceives at work.

Independent

The masculine strength female can be a rebel. She doesn’t want to follow anyone’s lead and wants to do things her own way. She also takes great strength in feeling in control of her own life.

Related: What Is Hyper Independence Trauma?(+4 Steps To Healing)

Reliable

The masculine strength female does what she says she’s going to do. She’s not the kind of person to change her mind and cancel at the last-minute. As a result, she gets frustrated with her less reliable Feminine Strength friends when they turn up late or change plans.

Honest

The masculine strength female isn’t a people-pleaser and has the courage to tell you things other people won’t. It isn’t always fun to hear her honest opinion, but it makes her a wonderful friend.

Kind

Although it isn’t always fun to hear an honest opinion, the masculine strength female isn’t bitchy and her honesty is well-intentioned. She always wants to help the people in her life.

Can’t Relax

The masculine strength female doesn’t know how to stop ‘doing’ and simply enjoy ‘being’. If she’s not doing something, she feels lazy and unproductive which makes her very hard on herself.

Finds It Hard To Express

The masculine strength female struggles to express herself, especially when it comes to her feelings.

Lacks Empathy

The masculine strength female finds it hard, not just to express her feelings, but to relate to other people’s feelings. She doesn’t understand why people would make things so emotional.

She approaches her love life the same way she does every other area in her life – as a problem to be fixed through clear thinking.

Related: Top 20 Actionable Empathy Exercises to Become More Empathetic

Controlling

The masculine strength female can be authoritative and possessive. She likes to be always in control.

Impatient

Because of her controlling nature, the masculine strength female can get impatient when things don’t go her way.

Do recognize any of these traits in yourself?

4. Masculine Energy Traits In a Man

Otherwise known as the Alpha Male, the masculine strength male is analytical, direct, and both mentally and physically strong. But it’s also hard for him to express his feelings which can affect his relationships.

Here are some of the masculine strength male common traits:

Competitive

The masculine strength male views life as a competition that he needs to win. He wants to be the best at everything he does.

Ambitious

The masculine strength male is focused, driven, and clear about what he wants and won’t give up until he reaches his goals. He is obsessed with success, status, and wealth. It’s not just about the money, it’s more about the success that making money implies.

Confident

The masculine strength male is decisive, assertive and it never occurs to him that he is wrong.

Logical

The masculine strength male is a problem solver. He thinks clearly and logically. He doesn’t get emotional and stays calm in a crisis.

Strong

The masculine strength male has high testosterone levels, which creates a strong jawline and cheekbones, larger noses, smaller eyes, thinner lips, and a relatively long bottom half of the face. It also makes their shoulder boarder and upper arms stronger.

Unexpressive

While the masculine strength male thinks clearly and is assertive, he also struggles to express his feelings. Mostly because half of the time he doesn’t even know what he feels.

Related: How To Feel Your Feelings & Sit With Painful Emotions? (Top 9 Difficult Emotions)

Judgmental

The masculine strength male finds it hard to feel empathy for others. He’s naturally confident and doesn’t understand the insecurities of others. This can make him judgmental and lead him to think that he’s better than others.

Do recognize any of these traits in yourself?

Why Do We Need to Balance Your Energies?

Being balanced makes you a better partner.

Most people share the same approach in life — they play to their strengths. However, strengths are only strengths when used in moderation – without balance they become counterproductive.

How does this imbalance affect your life?

Too Much Feminine Energy = Depressed

Feminine strength people who only rely on their feminine energy can get lost in their feelings and in life in general.

They either become party people who are only living in the moment and having fun.

Or they become entirely introverted. They become stuck in victim mode because they lack the masculine energy responsible for action and structure.

In both cases, they slowly become depressed.

Too Much Masculine Energy = Burnout

When masculine strength people let only their masculine energy run the show, they become incredibly productive and successful, but they also lead very empty lives.

We need our feminine energy to love and care for ourselves and others. Without it, masculine strength people find themselves burned out and cut off from people.

Related: How To Build Resilience At Work? Top 19 Ways To Build Resilience And Prevent Burnout

How to Balance Feminine And Masculine Energy?

If you’re a feminine strength person, incorporating some masculine energy traits will help you:

• Take charge of your finances, career, and life.
• Plan ahead and set goals for yourself.
• Stand up for yourself and be more assertive.

If you’re a masculine strength person, incorporating some masculine energy traits will help you:

• Get in touch with your emotion and become more empathetic.
• Be able to relax and see it as a vital part of life to recharge instead of a sign of weakness.
• Let go of the need to control everything and trust that things happen as they are meant to happen.

How to Develop Masculine Energy?

To balance your energies, you need to, first, own your strength before developing masculine energy.

1. Own Your Strength

If you are a feminine strength person, you are caring, intuitive, and creative. You’re connected with others and easygoing. These qualities are wonderful, but you don’t need to develop them anymore. You need to bring out confident, go-getting masculine energy.

How do you do it?

Fake it until you make it.

2. Have a Plan

“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” – Benjamin Franklin

Being spontaneous is great, but without a clear plan in life, you’ll feel lost and aimless. A plan gives you direction and focus, both of which will build your masculine energy.

There are many ways to plan:

Planning your life. Create a vision board for your life. Fill it with pictures of goals you want to achieve in life and quotes to inspire you. It can be a house, a car, a career, a relationship, anything you’d love to achieve.

Annual plan. Write down at least ten things you want to achieve this year. Break them into monthly and weekly goals. Be realistic when setting your deadlines and put those goals in your calendar or somewhere you can review them regularly.

Daily plan. Every night before you go to bed, write down a to-do list for the next day. Start every morning by asking yourself what is the most important thing you need to get done and start with it.

Feminine strength people are easygoing and fun, but they also spend so much of their days overwhelmed and stressed because of their lack of organization and priorities. Setting plans for you will help eliminate a lot of that stress.

3. Vigorous Exercise

Research shows that high-intensity workouts boost testosterone production, which in order will boost your masculine energy. Boxing, martial arts, and weight lifting are great to boost your testosterone.

4. Power Pose

Studies show that holding a powerful pose increases your testosterone levels. Standing with your legs wide and your hands on your waist, lifting your chin, and putting your shoulders back makes you look and feel more assertive.

Related: Best 13 Practical Tools to Help You Feel More Confident

5. Power Dress

Our clothes don’t just affect how other people view us, they also affect how we feel, think, and act. Studies show that people wearing a suit perform better in negotiations than when they wear a jean and a t-shirt.

6. Spend Time with Masculine Strength People

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. So if you mostly hang out with feminine strength people, it’s time to meet new people. You might feel that you don’t have so much in common at the beginning, but soon you’ll both learn from each other.

Related: Understanding TRT for veterans and how it can help

7. Challenge Yourself

Take on more responsibilities at work, ask for the pay rise you deserve, take on big projects, etc. It doesn’t matter whether or not you succeed. All that matters is to aim high and take action.

Related: Facing Your Fears: 5 Truths About Fear And 5 Ways To Conquer Fear And Get Unstuck

8. Be More Honest And Direct

As a feminine energy person, you’re probably too kind and polite to say what you really think or ask for what you really need. To balance your energy practice being more honest in your opinion and more direct in your requests. People are not mind readers.

Say what you mean and ask for what you need. You’ll be surprised to learn that most people appreciate honesty and are more than willing to fulfill your needs.

Related: How To Communicate More Effectively

9. Keep Your Word

Feminine strength people can be unreliable, getting late and cancel at the last minute. This habit not only annoys people, but also disempowers you. Following through with your promises, even when you don’t feel like it, will give you a surge of personal power.

10. Get Your Hands Dirty

Getting your hands dirty will bring out your masculine energy. Go camping, learn to change a tire, start a garden, etc.

11. Get Rid of Your Credit Cards

By cutting off your credit cards, you’ll be able to remove all temptation and you’ll be able to become more organized with your money.

Make it a habit to check your bank balances every week and keep track of your spending. Start using a budget and stick to it.

Also, make a plan to earn more money. Sell what you don’t use, ask for a pay rise, stop buying on a whim, etc.

How To Develop Feminine Energy?

To balance your energies, you need to, first, own your strength before developing feminine energy.

1. Own Your Strength

If you are a masculine-strength person, you are strong, ambitious, and confident. These qualities are wonderful, but you don’t need to develop them anymore. You don’t need to spend more time in the office. Instead, you need to slow down, open up and connect with others and get in touch with your feelings.

How do you do it?

2. Get In Touch With Your Feelings

Masculine strength people suppress their feelings. They believe that feelings are for the weak. But if you’re not in touch with your feelings, they will manifest in unhealthy ways.

The best way to get in touch with your feelings is journaling. Start asking yourself every day “How am I feeling?” and write it down. You might find nothing to write at the beginning but stay with it and give it some time, your feelings will surface.

3. Express

After you get in touch with your feelings it’s time to share them. Talk more about your feelings with your friend. There’s nothing to fix, you just need to share your thoughts and feelings with someone else.

If you can’t find someone who’s going to listen to you, journaling could be a great alternative. Writing down your thoughts will help you become more expressive.

Related: Top +100 Journal Prompts For Mental Health [+Free PDF Printable!]

4. Ask For Help

Masculine strength people believe that asking for help is weak and needy. They’re too proud to ask for help and they don’t feel comfortable letting go of control.

The truth is that it takes courage to ask for help and reveal your vulnerability. It also gives others the opportunity to care for you which will deepen your relationships and bring you closer with your loved ones.

5. Spend Time with Feminine Strength Friends

We pick up the energy of those around us. This why you need to start spending more time with feminine strength people. If you find yourself getting impatient with them, take a breath and remind yourself that they might be going at a different pace, but that doesn’t mean they’re a waste of your time.

Your feminine strength friends will help you de-stress, laugh more and remind you to take better care of yourself.

6. Spend Time Alone

Although this depends on whether or not you’re an introvert or an extrovert, most masculine strength people are uncomfortable being alone. But time alone can be incredibly beneficial in helping you become more creative and empathetic. It keeps you in touch with your feelings and thoughts.

Related: How To Overcome Solitude Phobia: 4 Ways To Get Comfortable Spending Time alone

7. Practice Self-Care

Taking care of yourself and slowing down helps you achieve more energy balance. There are many ways to care for yourself:

* Have a massage. Massages are relaxing, but they also increase your oxytocin levels, otherwise known as the “love hormone”, which helps you become more trusting and more inclined to connect with other people.

* Have a bath. Masculine strength people would rather take a quick shower than sit around in a bubble bath. Taking the time to have a bath will help you slow down, connect with your sensual side and get you more in touch with your feminine energy.

* Read fiction. Fiction books, not a business book or a biography, help you escape into an imaginary world for pure enjoyment. It also increases your ability to understand other people’s feelings as it gives you a glimpse into people’s inner worlds.

* Laugh. Masculine strength people tend to be quite serious and focused, and laughter will help you lighten up. Laughing with people is proven to bring you closer and deepen the relationship.

FREE Self-Care Worksheets

8. Exercise Gently

Aggressive and competitive sports increase masculine energy. Try instead gentler sport and exercise such as yoga, swimming, dancing, etc. These forms of exercise will help you relax and connect with yourself rather than focusing on beating someone else.

9. Be in Nature

Nature will help you feel calm and still. It will help you boost your creativity and connect to the beauty of the world, all of which will bring out your feminine energy.

10. Unplug

Set at least one day a week to turn off your e-mail notifications and unplug from technology, and spend that day connecting with yourself, your family, and friends.

11. Get a Pet

Masculine strength people are naturally untrusting and guarded. This is why getting a pet will help you open your heart more easily. Spending time with pets is also proven to release oxytocin that helps you bond not just with your pet, but with people in your life too.

12. Find a Creative Hobby

A creative hobby like painting, writing, photography, or dancing, will bring out the creative side within you and help you feel more comfortable with your feminine energy. It will get you in touch with your feelings.

13. Dress Up

Your clothes affect the way you feel, think, and act, and not just how other people view you. Wearing soft fabric, fashionable glasses, a pair of heels, a feminine skirt, or even a simple piece of striking jewelry can bring out your feminine energy.

It’s important to understand that balancing your energies is something to maintain throughout your life.

As you become more balanced you’ll be able to use the appropriate energy for every situation.

Balance In Relationships

Opposites Attract

Opposites attract, but it’s not opposite personalities that attract. In fact, you need to have enough in common with someone to make your relationship last long term.

By saying opposites attract, we mean opposite energies. When both energies are present, it creates incredible chemistry and passion.

The feminine energy flirts and seduces, the masculine energy brings strength and action.

The masculine energy takes control, the feminine energy follows lovingly.

It doesn’t matter if the man has feminine or masculine energy as it doesn’t matter if the woman has feminine or masculine energy, as long as both energies are present.

Spending time with someone whose energy is opposite to ours will help to bring out that energy in us. It creates a balance in the relationship and helps us grow as a person.

Related: Are You And Your Partner Romantically Compatible?

We Still Need to Balance

Even with being in a relationship with someone whose energy is opposite to yours, you still need to balance your own energies. If you don’t learn to embrace the weaker energy within you, you’ll find it hard to accept and appreciate that energy in your partner.

Resources

• Portions of this article were adapted from the book The Bingo Theory: A revolutionary guide to love, life, and relationships, © 2016 by  Mimi Ikonn. All rights reserved.

• (PDF) Balancing Feminine and Masculine Energy (researchgate.net)
• Is Masculine or Feminine Energy Your Strength? – Intelligent Change