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10 Signs of Gaslighting (+FREE Worksheets)

10 Signs of Gaslighting

Today you’re going to learn the main 10 signs of gaslighting.

What’s Gaslighting?

The word gaslighting is used to describe the manipulative activity that an abuser uses to make their target doubt themselves and think they’re going crazy.

The gaslighter aims to gain absolute control over their victim.

Where Did The Word “Gaslighting” Come From?

The word “gaslighting” comes from George Cukor’s 1944 film titled “Gaslight”.

In the film, a gentleman persuades his young wife to stay in the old house where he grew up. He then pushes his wife to doubt herself and think she’s crazy by changing the lights of the house’s gas lamps.

Related: How To Get Revenge On A Narcissist? (In Relationships & At Work)

10 Signs of Gaslighting

The following are common signs you’re being abused by a gaslighter:

1. Blatant lies

You know they’re lying but they tell this lie in a relaxed manner.

2. Denying that they said/did something even though you have evidence

Despite the fact that you have evidence for what they said or did, they keep denying it.

Eventually, you start to question your reality.

Related: Top 10 Narcissistic Relationship Patterns

3. Wearing you down slowly and over time.

Gaslighting is usually done gradually and over time.

The gaslighter will tell a lie here, or make a derogatory comment there until you’re with very low self-esteem.

4. Discounting your feelings

They may tell you that you shouldn’t be upset when you have every right to be upset.

They may also laugh at your hurt or compare your situation to other people’s or their own in a way that leaves you feeling as if you’re overreacting.

Related: 8 Stages Of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse (+FREE Breakup Recovery Worksheets)

5. Projecting their problems or flaws onto you.

For example, they might be addicts, but they don’t see themselves as having a problem and instead blame you.

Eventually, you start to question yourself.

6. Their actions don’t match what they say.

Most often, the gaslighter’s actions won’t match their words.

You need to look at what they’re doing because what they say means nothing.

7. Using what is important to you against you

If you love your children most, they may use them to manipulate you.

They may tell you that you don’t deserve those children.

Related: Top 5 Reasons Why Narcissists Target Empaths – & How to Starve The Narcissist of Supply

8. Trying to turn people against you.

This is when the gaslighter uses other people as a pawn to play off against you.

This leaves you not knowing who to trust and feeling isolated.

9. Telling you or others that you are crazy.

The gaslighter might tell you that no one will believe you if you tell them that he’s abusive or controlling.

He may call you crazy or tell other people that you are crazy.

10. Getting you to question your memory

They’ll tell you that things didn’t happen the way you remember them, even though you vividly remember doing or saying certain things.

Related: The Narcissist’s Prayer Explained

FREE Toxic Relationship Worksheets PDF