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5 Dating Do’s and Don’ts For Women If You Want a Lasting Relationship

We all make relationship mistakes, especially during the first few weeks of dating.

Women often, do things that make a man become distant and lose interest before a serious relationship has a chance to develop.

Today you’re going to learn the 5 top dating Do’s and Don’ts to keep him always coming back for more.

Ready? Let’s get started!

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5 Dating Don’ts

1. Don’t Be Too Accessible

Men quickly tire of that which is easily obtained. So don’t be too available before a serious relationship develops.

In fact, men’s brains are wired to solve problems, this is why a challenging, attractive woman, presents a man with a healthy problem that is worth solving.

This will force him to find creative ways to not lose the attention of such a woman.

Being not too available, really means that you should have an exciting life of your own. A life that a man doesn’t feel like he has to save you from, but that which is going to add value to his own life.

In other terms, you’re already happy in your singlehood. This communicates self-confidence and high-value.

Related: Learning To Love Yourself : 21 Day Self-Love Challenge

2. Don’t Be, Predominantly, The First One To Initiate The Contact

If you find yourself in a position where you’re usually the first to text, call or make plans, then you’re probably making him lazy. Men only value the things they’ve worked for.

Another down-side for being the initiator in the relationship, is that you won’t be able to know if he’s really into you or not. Especially when your contact initiations aren’t being reciprocated.

Related: How to Get More Affection from Your Relationships?

3. Don’t Speak Ill Of Your Exes

The way you’re treating other men and speaking of them, especially your exes, tells the guy you’re dating a lot. In fact, a guy who barely knows you isn’t ready yet to take your side.

This is why he might start making judgments. He might wonder what is it about you that attracts players and time wasters, or worse, he might feel like a loser himself since you seem to attract these kinds of people.

Either that or he might feel that your baggage is more than he can bear.

Another downside to talking about your unlucky past on the first weeks of dating is the fact that you might sound like a victim, someone who’s desperate for pity rather than taking responsibility for her own mistakes.

4. Don’t Lose Your Self-Respect For Someone Who’s Not Taking Interest In You

If the guy’s interest in you is obviously waning, don’t force him to take interest in you again. Don’t fight, nag, or complain. It’ll only make you appear less dignified to him and to anyone who might learn about it.

More importantly, it’ll affect your self-esteem. However difficult it might seem, you’ll never regret it, walk away and take your business elsewhere.

This is why the tactic of withdrawing from a man who’s not showing much interest in you, is the best way to know whether or not he’s worth your time.

If he’s interested, he’ll start chasing you for fear of losing you. If he’s not that into you, then you have your answer.

Related: 11 Emotional Boundaries You Should Set From The First Date

5. Do Not Date A Married Man

No matter how desirable the guy is, never date a married man. It doesn’t matter if he loves you more than he loves his wife.

The legal issues and the living logistics surrounding his marriage gives him a strong excuse to keep you on the side indefinitely until you realize that you’re wasting your time and that he’ll never get a divorce. And even if he did, there will even more issues to deal with.

Related: Dating The Divorced Man 101: Everything You Need To Know About Dating The Divorced Man

5 Dating Do’s

1. Prioritize Phone Calls Over Texting

The method of communicating tells you a lot about a man’s level of interest. While nothing is wrong with using smartphones and texting, getting the guy to pick up the phone and call you shows a deeper level of interest.

This is also a way to make sure that he isn’t a player who’s texting multiple women at the same time.

Simply inform him that you’d prefer it if he called to make plans. You can tease him by telling him that you’d love to hear his voice more often.

However, if he keeps on texting instead of making the phone call, don’t waste your precious time on someone who won’t take a simple step to escalate his method of communication.

Related: Are You And Your Partner Romantically Compatible? (Attachment Style Theory)

2. Show Restraint In Displaying Your Infatuation

Until the relationship gets serious, it would be wiser to show restraint in displaying your infatuation. As we mentioned earlier, a man values the things he had worked for, and winning your interest, is a challenge he’s willing to win.

This is why, unless he makes an effort, any interest you show might not have a positive effect on him you’re aiming for.

An important key to seduction success is reaching a mutual level of interest before displaying your infatuation.

You’ll know that a guy is as interest in you as you are in him from his enthusiasm when he’s with you, how eager he is to spend time with you and how initiative he is when it comes to making contact.

Related: 12 Steps to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You

3. Be Willing To Show Your Vulnerability

If a man proves to you that he’s invested enough in this relationship, don’t hesitate to show your vulnerability. Baring your soul, when the time is right, will help develop a deep emotional connection with the guy you’re dating.

This gives a room for the man to protect, defend, and love you. It’ll encourage him to show you his vulnerable side too.

Related: How to Have an Intimate Conversation with Your Spouse

4. Know The Difference Between The Right Guy And A Great Guy

A guy might be an irresistible catch and yet he might not be ready or willing to give you the commitment you want.

The right man, won’t just possess the qualities you find attractive, he’s also on the same page as you when it comes to commitment and taking things to the next level.

In other words, if a guy is telling you he’s not looking for anything serious, believe him.

More importantly, don’t delude yourself into believing that he’ll change his mind once he gets to know you or builds interest in you.

Related: The Ultimate Guide to Finding The Right Guy For You

5. Date With A Clear Purpose In Mind

If you want to avoid dead-end relationships, ensure that you know what you want and resolve not to settle for anything less from a man. Make a list of qualities you want in a man and place it somewhere you can refer to it regularly.

You’ll find it much easier to enforce your boundaries and stop wasting your time on men who have little to no long-term potential.

Keep in mind that merely wanting a boyfriend isn’t an effective strategy if you’re looking for a long-term commitment.

You are my best friend, my human diary, and my other half. You mean the world to me and I love you.

Looking for creative (and inexpensive) ideas of things to do together with your partner to deepen your connection and love?

175 Best Date Ideas” is a $9 e-book that will help spark what you had when you first met.

The Ultimate Formula for Attraction

“But isn’t attraction just natural? Do we need a formula?” you may ask.

Just because attraction seems to happen naturally, doesn’t mean that it’s random. It also doesn’t mean that you need to change who you are. Each one of us has different qualities, values, and physical types they’re looking for in people. However, what makes a woman attractive to a man remains the same.

Keep in mind that this formula provides guiding principles only. It should suck all spontaneity and excitement out of your love life.

Deep and Lasting Attraction = Visual Chemistry + Perceived Challenge + Perceived Value + Connection

Visual chemistry

Your looks are responsible for physical desire and what causes someone to want you. But you don’t have to be drop-dead gorgeous with a model figure to attract someone.

People have different preferences and tastes and there’s always someone for everyone.

There are two types of beauty: objective beauty and perceived beauty.

Objective beauty changes over time. Looks go in and out of fashion constantly. For some time soft and large women with pale skin and thick wavy hair were considered beautiful. Now in the twenty-first century, women with toned abs, tanned skin, and straight hair is the beauty standard.

Perceived beauty, on the other hand, is when one becomes attractive through behavior, and it is what creates visual chemistry.

This type of beauty is perceived through the way you carry yourself, your ability to exude confidence and playful energy, and so on.

While we can’t influence the cultural standards of objective beauty, we have a lot of control over our own perceived beauty. Fortunately, perceived beauty is the only kind of beauty that matters in a relationship.

This is why we can be extremely attracted to someone initially based on their looks, and then after a tedious conversation find them completely unsexy and even become turned off by how boring and superficial they are. Of course, the opposite happens too. You meet someone you don’t feel attracted to and then they say or do something that captures your attention and you find them extremely attractive.

An objectively beautiful woman often finds it harder to find and keep a guy than does a woman of perceived beauty. In fact, because great-looking women are used to getting attention only for their looks, they start relying on that aspect of themselves and leave her character underdeveloped. In other words, their beauty becomes a liability.

Attraction is created by the sum of small behaviors and actions that can be learned and put into action. Attraction is emotional – not logical.

Perceived Challenge

We appreciate things we had to work for more than the things we were given for free. A woman with high value is attractive to men because she gives them a challenge. Something for which they have to work to earn.

Perceived Value

Perceived value makes a woman more than just a challenge. It’s when a woman of high value successfully conveyed to a guy what she’s all about.

She shows him that being with her is going to enrich his life and give him experiences he could never have alone or even with any other woman. She made herself unique in his eyes.

Connection

Connection is what makes someone realize he can spend hours on end in his partner’s company. Passion and sexual desire is no substitution for connection.

Connection happens when we feel interested in someone’s life, values, and standards, and are able to understand and relate with that person.  

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References

Portions of this article were adapted from the book Never Chase Men Again: 38 Dating Secrets to Get the Guy, Keep Him Interested, and Prevent Dead-End Relationships, © 2015 by Bruce Bryans. All rights reserved.

Portions of this article were adapted from the book Get the Guy, © 2013 by Matthew Hussey. All rights reserved.

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