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How Does A Narcissist React When You Stop Chasing Them?

How Does A Narcissist React When You Stop Chasing Them

In this post, you’re going to find out how a narcissist reacts when you stop chasing them.

Who Is The Narcissist?

A narcissist is someone who has an excessive sense of self-importance, a need for admiration and attention, and a lack of empathy for others.

They typically have a grandiose view of themselves and believe they are entitled to special treatment.

Narcissists can be manipulative, controlling, and may have difficulty forming genuine relationships.

Having some narcissistic traits is not uncommon, but when these traits become a pervasive pattern of behavior that causes significant distress or impairment in one’s life, it may be classified as Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Related: 60 Things Narcissistic Mothers Say

How A Narcissist Can Make You Chase Them?

A narcissist can make you chase them by employing a number of tactics that exploit your emotions and vulnerabilities.

Here are some common ways that a narcissist may try to manipulate and control you:

1. Love bombing: At the beginning of a relationship, a narcissist may shower you with attention, affection, and compliments, making you feel like you are the center of their world.

2. Gaslighting: A narcissist may try to make you doubt your own perceptions and memories, causing you to question your own sanity and become more dependent on them for validation.

3. Playing hard to get: A narcissist may withhold affection or attention from you, making you feel like you have to work harder to win their approval.

4. Push-pull behavior: A narcissist may alternate between being hot and cold, giving you just enough attention to keep you hooked, but never fully committing to the relationship.

5. Triangulation: A narcissist may introduce a third party into the relationship, such as an ex-partner or a new love interest, in order to create jealousy and competition.

It’s important to be aware of these behaviors and protect yourself by setting boundaries and seeking support from trusted friends and professionals.

Related: Top 5 Reasons Why Narcissists Target Empaths – & How to Starve The Narcissist of Supply

How Does A Narcissist React When You Stop Chasing Them?

When you stop chasing the narcissist, their reactions can vary depending on the severity of their narcissism and the nature of your relationship with them.

Here are a few possible reactions:

1. They May Try To Win You Back

If the narcissist perceives you as valuable or important to their image or status, they may do whatever it takes to regain your attention and admiration.

They may use charm, flattery, gifts, promises, or even threats to make you chase them again.

2. They May Devalue Or Discard You

If the narcissist feels rejected, criticized, or exposed by your withdrawal, they may respond with anger, contempt, or indifference.

They may insult, belittle, or ignore you, and seek validation from other sources.

Related: Top 10 Narcissistic Relationship Patterns

3. They May Pursue Another Target

If the narcissist finds a new source of admiration or attention, they may shift their focus to that person and discard you without remorse.

They may idealize their new target and devalue you even more.

4. They May Become Depressed Or Anxious

If the narcissist relies heavily on external validation and lacks a solid sense of self-worth, they may experience a crisis or breakdown when they lose your attention or approval.

They may feel empty, lonely, helpless, or angry.

It’s important to remember that none of these reactions reflect your worth or value as a person.

Don’t feel guilty or responsible for their reactions, and seek support from trusted friends, family, or professionals.

Related: 21 Stages of a Narcissist Relationship (+FREE Breakup Recovery Worksheets)

How Stopping The Chase Can Affect The Narcissist’s Behavior?

Narcissists thrive on attention and validation from others, and they often use manipulation tactics, such as love bombing and gaslighting, to maintain control over their partners.

When a person stops chasing a narcissist, it can trigger feelings of insecurity and abandonment in the narcissist.

They may become angry, resentful, or dismissive in response to the perceived rejection.

Alternatively, the narcissist may attempt to regain control by ramping up their manipulative tactics in an effort to maintain their power and dominance.

However, stopping the chase can also be a moment of liberation for the victim of narcissistic abuse.

It can provide an opportunity to set healthy boundaries, prioritize their own needs, and reclaim their sense of self-worth.

Related: Top 10 Tips For Setting Boundaries With Narcissistic Parents

Tips for Stopping the Chase

Breaking free from the cycle of chasing a narcissist can be difficult, but with time and effort, it is possible.

Here are some techniques that may help:

1. Recognize The Pattern

The first step is to recognize the pattern.

You need to understand that you are caught in a never-ending cycle of seeking validation and approval from the narcissist.

Acknowledge that you are not in control of the relationship and that the narcissist will continue to manipulate you.

Related: 8 Stages Of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse (+FREE Breakup Recovery Worksheets)

2. Set Boundaries

Establish emotional boundaries and stick to them.

Set boundaries around communication, physical space, and time spent together.

Start small and be consistent so the narcissist learns how to respect your boundaries.

3. Stop Seeking Approval

Stop seeking approval or validation from the narcissist.

Focus on your own self-worth and value.

Recognize that you do not need external validation to feel good about yourself.

4. Seek Support

Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support.

Talking to someone who understands what you are going through can help you get perspective and find ways to move forward.

5. Practice Self-Care

Take care of yourself physically and mentally.

Invest time in activities you enjoy, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep.

Taking care of yourself will help you regain your confidence and independence.

Related: Resources For Narcissistic Abuse (Support Groups, Podcasts, TED Talks, Books)

toxic relationships worksheets


It is important to remember that narcissistic behavior is unpredictable, and each person will respond in their own unique way.

Therefore, it is essential to establish healthy boundaries and prioritize your own well-being when dealing with a narcissistic individual.

Be patient and kind to yourself, and seek help when needed.

By Hadiah

Hadiah is a counselor who is passionate about supporting individuals on their journey towards mental well-being. Hadiah not only writes insightful articles on various mental health topics but also creates engaging and practical mental health worksheets.

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