PTSP Self Help Guide: 5 Steps to Support Your Trauma Healing

Traumatic events are everywhere.

It is estimated that 70% of adults in the United States have experienced a traumatic event at least once in their lives and up to 20 percent of these people go on to develop post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.

While some trauma victims will say they came out stronger, others remain stuck in a cycle of negative emotion.

This makes recovery from trauma a major health issue.

Today, you’re going to learn how you can recover from your PTSD and live a fulfilling life.

Ready? Let’s begin!

What Is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD?

Post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, happens when the trauma victim gets stuck in a cycle of a negative state of fear, shame, anger, and hiding.

People suffer from PTSD because of a variety of reasons, including, Childhood Sexual Abuse, rape, military and wartime experiences, domestic abuse, natural disasters, motor vehicle accidents, and exposure to violent situations such as being held at gunpoint and school, church, or workplace shootings.

If you have untreated PTSD, you may feel like the world isn’t the safe place you used to think it is. Your life becomes overcast with anxiety, anger or resentment over everything.

A lot of your energy is expended to avoid the horrors in your head.

Fortunately, modern psychology treatments are highly effective to help trauma victim, but they need to first come out of hiding and seek help.

Related: Recovering From Trauma and PTSD: 6 Practical Exercise to Support Healing After Trauma

Understanding PTSD Symptoms and Triggers

1. PTSD Symptoms

There are at least four classes of PTSD symptoms that help the victim avoid or escape the pain caused by trauma:

1. Reliving the event

This is called a flashback. The memories of the traumatic event can return at any time and the victim can feel the same fear as when the event took place.

The flashback can be triggered by a sound or a sight such as hearing a loud noise, seeing a car accident, or even seeing the news.

2. Avoiding situations that remind the victim of the event

To avoid the pain, victims try to avoid situations or people that trigger memories of the traumatic event. They might even avoid thinking or talking about it.

That includes avoiding watching TV news or certain movies or places associated with the traumatic event, or even getting help so as not to talk about or think about the event.

They might also distract themselves with work or being busy.

3. Feeling numb

Victims might forget parts of traumatic event or stay away from interactions and activities to avoid any triggers.

4. Feeling keyed up

Because of their sensitivity to danger, people with PTSD are constantly on-guard and alert for danger.

This makes them prone to get easily startled. They might find it difficult to concentrate and have trouble sleeping.

5. Other possible symptoms

  • Health problems with no easily identified causes;
  • Feelings of shame and hopelessness;
  • Difficulty to control emotions and behavior;
  • Communication and relationship problems with family, friends, co-workers or even strangers;
  • Impulsive or destructive behavior, such as substance abuse;
  • A change in beliefs and/or personality traits.

The distress and impairment caused by PTSD can affect every area of a person’s life – marriage, family life, social life, student or professional life.

These symptoms show up at a variety of rates and usually occur within a month following the trauma.

For some these symptoms may not appear until several months or years. This is especially true for those who think they are strong and self-sufficient or who see these symptoms as a sign of weakness, such as the military.

In any case, ignoring the symptoms for too long can cause a setback to one’s life especially when they’re ignored through self-destructive behavior such as substance abuse or relationships avoidance.

Related: 10 Signs You Were Shamed In Childhood


2. What Triggers PTSD Symptom?

Your triggers are anything that activates a PTSD symptom. These could be external or internal.

Usually triggers are directly associated with your traumatic event.

For example, if you were in a sever car accident, you might experience intrusive memories of the accident brought on by being on the highway where the accident took place, or simply by being in a car going at a high speed, or hearing loud noises, etc.

Because of the unpleasant memories these triggers bring, people usually try to avoid them. While this might bring relief in the short term, in the long term, as this avoidance continues, things that aren’t directly connected with the traumatic event, become triggers as well.

For example, simply being in a car, even if it’s not moving, or seeing a picture of a highway, can bring PTSD symptoms.

PTSD symptoms can be brought on by internal triggers.

For example, if your heart was racing during your traumatic event, any time you feel your heart racing might being up thought or feelings associated with your trauma.

Other internal triggers may include pain in a certain part of the body, muscle tension, feeling lonely, vulnerable, out of control, etc.

The healthiest way to deal with these triggers is to learn how to manage them instead of avoiding them.

3. How to Cope with Triggers?

Since it’s hard to avoid triggers and avoidance makes things worse in the long term, it’s important to learn coping strategies that help you limit the impact of a trigger on your PTSD symptoms.

The following strategies can help you manage your triggers.

1. Mindfulness

Mindfulness of your external environment is one of the best strategies to cope with triggers. It involves approaching the present moment nonjudgmentally, without evaluating the experience in any way.

In other words, you expand your awareness to everything happening around you and prevent your thoughts from focusing just on the trigger or symptoms.

Exercise: Mindfulness of Your External Environment

* Stop for a moment and scan your environment.

* Notice your surroundings and describe what you see, hear, smell, and feel on the surface of your body, such as a tree, the chirping of bird, the sun on your face, your clothes against your body, etc.

* Do your best to describe in details every object in your awareness.

* If you notice that your attention becomes focused on your PTSD trigger or symptoms, that’s okay. Acknowledge that your attention went back to the trigger or symptom and then gently bring your attention back to your external environment.

You can use this technique whenever a trigger catches your attention. “Stop, Take a breath, Observe what’s going on around you, and Proceed”

2. Grounding

Mindfulness is a form of grounding that keeps you in the present moment. But there are more specialized grounding exercises that connect you with the present moment quickly and completely, especially when a trigger brings about flashbacks or dissociation.

The following are some examples of grounding exercises, but you can come up with your own, the more options you have available, the better:

Exercise: Grounding

  • Smell something with a strong odor
  • Grab ahold of the armrest of your chair
  • Bite into a lemon
  • Take a cold shower or splash cold water on your face
  • Hold onto an ice cube
  • touch something rough
  • Breathe deeply
  • Visualize the face or the voice of someone you love

3. Distraction

Distraction aims to pull your attention away from a trigger. This is especially helpful for internal triggers such as intense thoughts, emotions, or bodily sensations.

The distraction activity or activities you’re going to choose need to be interesting or stimulating for you.

Keep in mind that distraction is designed to be temporary and a healthy activity. You don’t want to use distraction as a form of avoidance because this will only make the trigger stronger.

The following are some examples of distraction exercises, but you can come up with your own, the more options you have available, the better:

Exercise: Using Distraction to Manage Triggers

  • Do puzzles or crosswords
  • Play a game on your phone
  • Do some form of physical exercise
  • Talk to a friend about something unrelated to your trigger
  • Read an engaging book or magazine article
  • Do crafts
  • Look at picture of places you have been or would like to visit
  • Play with your pet
  • Drink a cup of soothing tea

How Avoidance Can Reinforce Your PTSD Symptoms?

People experience unending list of unpleasant events, such as hunger, thirst, cold, overheating, aches and pains, having an angry parent, being bored, experiencing teasing or rejection from peers, failing at attempted tasks, experiencing loss of any kind, etc.

Every action that results in reducing or eliminating any of these unpleasant experiences is quickly learned and maintained as a “go-to” response.

However, some unpleasant experiences are so strong, as in the case with PTSD, that avoidance is not an option.

Most of the time what PTSD victims do to cope with the mess in their heads and life is not working. Their avoidance behavior, although gives them momentarily relief, is in fact keeping them stuck.

In fact, avoiding or reducing the unpleasant feelings they experience after a trauma can take most, if not all, the victim’s energy and resources.

As a result, the trauma victim experiences reduced functioning, weariness, depression, and even suicide.

Avoidance, over time, can also spread to other areas of your life.

For example, if you have been assaulted, naturally you’ll be afraid of the man who assaulted you, but over time, you might also begin to fear all men, or all men with similar characteristics. This is what we call generalization.

Intellectually you know that not all people are the same and that other situations are not dangerous. Nevertheless, you feel afraid. They have become connected to the danger you experienced during the traumatic event.

In other words, the more you avoid, the more you confirm the idea that whatever you’re afraid of is a danger and should be avoided.

What do you think you need to do to overcome your fear?

You need to do the opposite of what you might feel like doing. That way, your brain will learn through experience that the particular situation is safe.

Understanding Dissociation

Dissociation is a learned behavior some neglected or abused children rely upon to “tune out” and cope with a threatening environment.

In adulthood, dissociation can become a well-maintained behavior through which you push the scary, painful, or confusing feelings. You might feel that it’s just too much to think about what happened.

Symptoms of dissociation exist on a continuum. It can be relatively mild, such as feeling foggy, numb, or cut off, having a hard time talking about experiences, or feeling constantly tired and having difficulty concentrating.

More intense symptoms might include feeling out of control or having lapses of memory.

To heal dissociation, you need to develop the capacity to differentiate between the past and the present and recognize that traumatic events happened to you and that they are over now.

Cultivating mindful awareness of the “here and now” is one way to bring your attention to the present moment and heal dissociation.

To do this, you need to adapt to adversity by recognizing injustice, unfairness, suffering, or evil as it exists in your life and the world.

Dr. Viktor Frankl, a survivor of a Nazi concentration camp, observed that those prisoners who were able to retain a sense of meaning could maintain hope and were most likely to survive the atrocities.

Practical Exercise – Cultivating Mindful Awareness Of The “Here And Now”

The following practice will help you mindfully bring your awareness to the present moment:

* Find a safe place and sit in a comfortable position

* Allow yourself to collapse. Allow your shoulders to go forward and your gaze downward.

* Take your time, and notice how you feel in your body. Notice what emotions or thoughts arise.

* Then, slowly, lengthen your spine back up. Lift your torso and your head until you are sitting tall. Lift your gaze to look straight ahead of you. Do you notice any openness or expansion? Notice what emotions or thoughts arise now.

* If you find it hard to stay upright and feel an impulse to collapse again, then repeat these steps a few more times until you feel that staying upright comes easily.

Related: Healing The Fragmented Self: 8 Ways to Deal With Childhood Trauma Splitting

overcome avoidance worksheets

Healing From Trauma: How Is PTSD Treated?

PTSD can have a significant negative impact on your life. Luckily, psychological treatments for PTSD have been developed, and the majority of people have reported recovery using these treatments.

#1. Prolonged Exposure

Prolonged exposure is done by having you come into contact with thoughts, situations, objects, and places associated with your traumatic event. The goal here is to help you process the emotions connected to the trauma.

The exposure can take two forms: “imaginal exposure”, or, “in vivo exposure”.

Imaginal exposure involves imagining the details of the traumatic events. This includes describing what you experience with your five senses as well as the thoughts you had and the emotions you felt at that time.

In vivo exposure involves coming into contact with the actual people, objects, places, or situations associated with the traumatic event.

For example, someone who had a car accident and has been traumatized might be asked to look at pictures of car accidents, listen to loud sounds, and eventually, once he gets more comfortable, drive on the highway.

This might seem like a scary treatment, but keep in mind that avoidance is what fuels PTSD symptoms.

By progressively confronting the things you fear, you build up your tolerance for fear and realize that you are not really in danger. The traumatic event is not recurring and the alarm your body is sounding is a false alarm. Over time, your body’s alarm system becomes less sensitive and less likely to be activated when you face reminders of a traumatic event.

I. In Vivo Exposure

In vivo exposure is a real-life exposure, where you encounter real-life situations that you’ve been avoiding or that you’re afraid of.

This will help you realize that these situations are actually safe and help reduce your fear and anxiety.

Related: How to Treat Your Anxiety Using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)?

1. List Activities you avoid or are afraid of

When you get used to avoiding activities or situations, it can become hard to notice them.

Be really honest with yourself. You can ask for suggestions and feedback from trusted friend, a loved one, support person, or therapist.

Think back to the time before your trauma. What types of activities you did back then that you have stopped doing?

As you list these activities, it’s important to connect them to goals that are important to you. Consider why it’s important to you to do these activities and how they can help you reach your goals.

For example, maybe you used to walk alone a few times a week because you wanted to lose weight or simply stay fit.

2. Schedule “In Vivo Exposure” Daily

After writing down your list of avoided activities, the next step is to schedule to deliberately practice these activities.

Exposure works best when it’s consistent and structured. This will help you turn exposure into a habit that will compete with your old habit of avoiding.

You’re more likely to do something if you have it in your schedule. This will ensure that you take action regardless of how motivated you feel.

It’s also recommended that you practice exposure daily, in order for you to pave a new path in your mind and resist taking the old one.

3. Start with the Items That You Can Best Handle

Start with easier items on your list, especially if you’re doing this on your own.

It’s easier for you to feel empowered and keep going when you choose situations that you can stay in for long enough for your brain to learn something new.

It’s important to take reasonable precautions. If you’re afraid to walk alone down your street at night, it would be naïve to place yourself in harm’s way. But make sure you’re not mistaking avoidance for safety behaviors.

Related: Anxiety Relief: How to Treat Anxious Symptoms and Thoughts Effectively?

II. Imaginal Exposure

Imaginal exposure involves exposing yourself to situations in your imagination.

This is a good substitute for in vivo exposure, especially when it’s hard to get into the real-situations you’re afraid of, or when these situations are not particularly safe, like walking alone in the dark in a dangerous neighborhood.

One of the best forms of imaginal exposure for PTSD is “prolonged exposure”, which involves deliberately reexperiencing the traumatic event in your imagination in vivid details as if it’s happening right now.

This might be the last thing you want to do. You probably would prefer it if the memory were to disappear completely.

So why expose yourself to it this way? Well, simply because it works.

Many people have reported that their symptoms have improved considerably after prolonged exposure (Olatunji, Cisler, and Deacon 2010).

Prolonged exposure will also help you learn that, even the traumatic event may have been damaging, your memories of it aren’t dangerous and it can’t harm you. This will reduce your PTSD symptoms and help you move forward in your life.

It’s not recommended to do prolonged exposure alone. It’s best done with a therapist who can help you remain safe and support you while guiding you through the exercise.

Talk to a therapist anytime, anywhere

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III. Writing About Your Trauma

A wide body of research by Dr. James Pennebaker from the University of Texas indicated that simply writing about traumatic memories has significant positive mental and physical health outcomes, such as:

  • improved mood,
  • better mental outlook,
  • improved immune system functioning, and
  • reduced blood pressure.

In your journal, start writing about your traumatic event as a supplement to therapy, or as self-healing when psychotherapy is not accessible or affordable.

The greatest benefit comes from writing about:

* The facts and details of the traumatic event

* Sensory details (sights, sounds, smells, etc.) related to the traumatic event

* Any thoughts, emotions, or sensations that you experienced during the event

* The feelings, beliefs, or images you have about the traumatic event now

* The impact that you believe this traumatic event had on your life

When writing about traumatic events, let go of your inner critic or any desire to keep your writing socially acceptable.

Allow yourself to freely associate about the traumatic event and to be open to following your train of thought, wherever it takes you.

IV. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy was founded and developed by Dr Francine Shapiro in the 1980s.

According to her account, Shapiro was out walking in a park when she noticed that moving her eyes from side to side, while holding her distressing thoughts reduced the emotional impact of these thoughts.

Her research led her to developing Movement Desensitization (EMD) as a treatment for PTSD and later adding ‘reprocessing’ to the procedure to create Eye Movement Desensitizing and Reprocessing therapy (EMDR).

EMDR uses side-to-side eye movements, or bilateral stimulation to reprocess disturbing memories.

EMI therapy is used in the treatment of PTSD, phobias and other issues that do not require the patient to experience regression. These issues may include:

  • Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
  • Sleep problems, including nightmares and disrupted sleep
  • Phobias
  • Anxiety and panic
  • Anger
  • Depression
  • Dysfunctional attachment
  • Driving issues
  • Unresolved grief
  • Eating disorders
  • Chronic pain
  • Childhood experiences, including bullying, insensitive adults, parental discord, death, and divorce
  • Work problems
  • Stress
  • Over-reacting to normal situations

Scientists believe that the bilateral eye movements performed in EMDR may replicate the rapid eye movements (REM) during the dream stage of sleep, which is believed to help our brains process the events of the day, including our emotions and beliefs.

EMDR therapists may also use bilateral tapping as a bilateral stimulation, often on the top of the client’s hands.  Tapping has its roots in EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), which helps unlock the unprocessed memory and release the painful emotions related to it.

EMDR does not remove the memories in their entirety. After all, painful experiences once properly processed help us learn a lesson and grow wiser and more empowered.

Rather, EMDR reprocesses painful memories in a way that helps us feel no longer triggered by those memories.

How Many Sessions?

Most therapists recommend 6 to 12 sessions of EMDR lasting between 60-90 minutes per session and those with severe or multiple traumas may need more.

Single traumas that have occurred in a healthy adult could be reprocessed in as few as three sessions.

An adequate break between sessions is required to allow the mind time to recover. Most clients have EMDR therapy one to two times per week.

Find an EMDR therapist

#2. Skills for Regulating Intense Emotions

People with PTSD struggle with a number of intense emotions that can be difficult to regulate, like anxiety, guilt, sadness, and anger. These emotions can get very overwhelming and become hard to manage.

Fortunately, there are a number of skills that can help you regulate your emotions.

1. Experiencing Emotions

The first step to regulate emotions is to allow yourself to experience them.

But wouldn’t getting in touch with your emotions make them even more intense and overwhelming?

The answer is no.

It’s when you avoid your emotions that they become more overwhelming as one study show (Hayes, Strosahl, and Wilson 2011).

Mindfully Observe Your Emotions

Allowing yourself to experience your emotions will allow them to run their course and pass making them last for a shorter amount of time than trying to suppress them or ignore them.

* Notice the urge to avoid your emotions and gently turn your attention toward them.

* Notice the thoughts and bodily sensations that accompany your emotions. Bring your attention to how these emotions feels in your body and describe all of the various physical sensations you’re experiencing.

* Remain objective when describing your emotions or physical sensations. Don’t label them as “good” or “bad”.

* Remind yourself that as uncomfortable and intense your emotions maybe, they won’t hurt you and that they’ll dissipate soon.

* Finally, as your emotions begin to dissipate, notice how your body feels, what thoughts are you having right now, and how quickly the intensity of your emotions decreases.

Mindfully observing your emotions is one helpful technique for allowing yourself to experience your emotions, but there are other strategies that can also help you get in touch with your emotions.

The following are some of them.

Write About Your Emotions – Journal about how you’re feeling, what bodily sensations you’re experiencing, and what thoughts you’re having in the moment.

Talk About Your Feelings With Others – In order to describe your feelings to someone else, you’ll need to allow yourself to experience these emotions to some extent.

Related: 6 Simple Ways to Manage Difficult Emotions and Control Them

2. Identifying Your Emotions

By identifying your emotions you gain emotional clarity. This makes your emotions more manageable and you’ll be more capable to figure out how to make yourself feel better.

The things that will make you feel better depend a lot on exactly what emotions you’re feeling at the time. If you’re sad, talking to a friend, or slowing down and relaxing a little can help you feel better. If you’re angry, going for a long run can help you release the energy.

This is why it’s important to label your emotions.

Oftentimes, you might not be aware of or in touch with your feelings until you find yourself wanting to cry or scream.

Considering the three different components of emotions will help you identify your emotions:

(1) Cognitive – the thoughts that go through your mind. Thoughts that might accompany anger could be “This is unfair!” or, “What a jerk!”

(2) Physical – the way your body responds. Physical sensations that might accompany anger could be a racing heart, tense muscles, tight jaw, etc.

(3) Behavioral – the things you do or have urges to do. The behavioral component of anger may include urges to punch something or someone, scream, throw things, etc.

Once you know exactly what you’re feeling, it becomes easier to figure out the best way to cope with these emotions.

3. Identifying the Information Provided by Emotions

Your emotions are functional and serve a purpose. They provide important information about yourself and your environment. This is why figuring out why you’re having an emotion and the information it’s providing can be very helpful.

(1) Fear – signals danger or threat.

(2) Anger – tells you that you’ve been violated in some way or that your need or want is being blocked.

(3) Sadness – signals loss

(4) Guilt – tells you that you’ve done something that isn’t aligned with your values.

Identifying the information provided by your emotions will help you respond more effectively and help them pass more quickly.

4. Distraction Skills

After identifying your emotions, it’s important to distract yourself and resist the urge to act on these emotions in unhealthy and unhelpful ways. All you need to is find something else to capture your attention.

Keep in mind that these distractions are meant to help you manage your emotions. Use these distraction skills in moderation and don’t overuse them or turn them into avoidance.

Find an activity that will capture your attention. The following are some examples:

  • Exercise,
  • Take a walk in nature,
  • Do some work,
  • Hang out with a good friend,
  • Prepare a meal,
  • Etc.

5. Specific Skills for Managing Anger

Anger, like other emotions, is a basic human emotion that serves an important purpose. Anger can give you the motivation to address problems and change things, and the strength to stand up for yourself and others.

However anger can become overwhelming and difficult to manage.

The following techniques will help you manage intense anger:

Leave the Situation

This technique is simple, yet powerful. Oftentimes, all you need is time and space to figure out how best to respond to any situation and give your anger a chance to subside.

Stop and Take a Step Back

There are times when you can’t simple leave the situation or when leaving the situation has its downsides, like being in a car with someone, in an important meeting, etc.

When you can’t physically leave the situation, simply stop and take a step back from the situation. Pause before you act or respond. Give yourself a moment to relax and figure out what to do next.

Related: How To Manage Your Anger In Healthy, Effective Ways?

6. Skills for Managing Shame

Even though the vast majority of emotions people experience are functional, shame, on the other hand, is far less helpful.

Shame stems from negative evaluations and judgments of you as a person. Unlike guild that stems from negative evaluations of certain things you said or did, shame is felt when you judge yourself as a whole. It not only brings self-loathing and low self-esteem, but it can also get in the way of healing and moving on. It keeps you stuck.

The following is a strategy to help you manage shame:

Opposite Action

Opposite actions involves doing the opposite of the action urges that come with an emotion. This keeps the emotions from intensifying and helps it pass more quickly.

* Identify the action urges that go along with shame (hide, avoid, shut down or self-punish).

* If you feel like hiding, do the opposite. Approach other people. Tell a trusted friend or your therapist about your traumatic experience.

If you can’t think of a supportive friend who’s going to listen, try 7cups of tea it is an online service with thousands of volunteer listeners stepping up to lend a friendly ear.

* If you feel like punishing yourself, do the opposite. Treat yourself with compassion and kindness. Do something nice for yourself even if you don’t feel loving toward yourself or deserving in the moment. Focus on your strength and positive characteristics.

Related: How To Let Go Of Shame After Trauma?

Trauma is personal. It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive.
― Danielle Bernock

#3. Dealing With Intrusive Symptoms

Intrusive symptoms mainly include feelings of anxiety, aggression, and irritability, flashbacks, hypervigilance, or nightmares.

Hypervigilance involves being constantly on guard or highly sensitized to your surroundings in an unconscious attempt to keep yourself safe.

Practical Exercise – Challenging Thinking Errors

Once you bring your awareness back to the present moment and become aware of your negative, irrational beliefs, you begin to replace them with more positive, accurate thoughts.

For instance, when you find yourself thinking “What’s wrong with me,” or “I’m worthless,” replacing these negative thoughts with more positive ones, such as “It’s okay to be nervous,” “Mistakes are proof that I’m trying.”

Take a few minutes every day to journal, then review your thoughts and correct any distortions.

The following are common thinking distortions you should be aware of:

1. All-or-nothing thinking: also called black-and-white or polarized thinking, where you view situations in only two categories rather than on a continuum.

For instance: “I always mess up, what is the point of trying?”

2. Catastrophizing: This when you believe that the very worst thing is going to happen without considering other more likely and less negative possibilities.

For example: “I just know that I will mess up”

3. Discounting the positive: This when you disqualify or excludes positive experiences and qualities.

For example: “He said I did a good job, but I bet he didn’t mean it.”

4. Emotional reasoning: This is when you believe something is true because you feel it so strongly, while ignoring lacking or contrary evidence.

For example: “I have an awful feeling about the audition, I’m sure I’ll mess up.”

5. Overgeneralization: This is when you decide that a negative experience, a specific flaw, or a mistake describe your life completely.

For example: “Things never go my way.”

6. Mind reading: This is when you jump to conclusions regarding others thoughts and feelings without any clear evidence. 

For example: “He think I’m stupid, I’m sure of it!”

7. Imperatives: This is when you criticize yourself or other people using shoulds and shouldn’ts.

For example: “I should have been able to speak up at the meeting; I’m such a wimp!”

Related: When Your Brain Lies to You: How to Stop Cognitive Distortions and Overcome Depression?

Challenge your distorted thoughts by asking yourself the following questions:

1. What evidence do I have that what I believe is actually true?

2. Do I know for certain that the worst will happen?

3. Is there another possible explanation for that person’s behavior that isn’t about me?

4. Am I confusing a thought with a fact?

5. Am I falling into a thinking trap (e.g., catastrophizing or overestimating danger)?

6. What would I tell a friend if he/she had the same thought?

7. Am I 100% sure that ___________will happen?

8. How many times has __________happened before?

9. Is __________so important that my future depends on it?

10. If it did happen, what could I do to cope with or handle it?

11. Am I condemning myself as a total person on the basis of a single event?

12. Am I concentrating on my weakness and forgetting my strengths?

13. Am I blaming myself for something which is not really my fault?

14. Am I taking something personally which has little or nothing to do with me?

15. Am I assuming I can do nothing to change my situation?

#4. Dealing With Feelings of Shame

Shame is characterized by the distorted sense of yourself as being unworthy, damaged, or a failure.

As a child, you might have internalized the belief that you had to act perfect to stop the bad things from happening or because your parents couldn’t handle your authentic feelings.  

Perfectionism is maintained through critical self-talk and pushing down painful feelings.

Practical Exercise 3 – Free Yourself From Shame

To break the cycles of shame and perfectionism try doing the following:

Explore your use of language

Instead of saying “I am sad,” try saying “I feel sad.”

The first statement reflects identification with a painful emotion, whereas the second statement allows you to recognize a feeling without being consumed by it.

Avoid “shoulds”

One way people intensify their perfectionism is using “Shoulds” as perceived expectations on themselves and rejection of their authentic selves.

If you find yourself thinking, “I shouldn’t make mistakes,” or “I should be strong,” try to step back and instead focus on self-acceptance.

Imagine shame as a bully

Imagining shame as a bully gives you some space from the emotion and allows you to react.

Ask yourself “What would you say to the shame bully?” in your journal write down your answer.

Experience the body’s sensations of shame

One of the most difficult parts of healing shame is tolerating the body’s sensations of shame.

You might experience an encompassing sinking feeling or a vague sensation as though you did something wrong.

The goal here is to slowly build tolerance for the physical discomforts that accompany shame.

Reclaim your body from shame by practicing postures that help you feel strong and capable, or place your hands over your heart in a gesture of loving kindness toward yourself.

Practical Exercise – Cultivating Self-Compassion

When the child feels bad, he start developing inaccurate thoughts and beliefs such as:

“Something must be wrong with me.”

“I’m stupid.”

“I can’t do anything right.”

“I’m lazy.”

Go back to your childhood memory and try to identify the messages you are telling yourself.

Write these beliefs in your journal and challenge them by recognizing that as a child you couldn’t have done anything wrong.

Replace these distorted, negative beliefs with more accurate, positive ones.

Looking for more practical exercises: read this article: Recovering From Trauma and PTSD: 6 Practical Exercise to Support Healing After Trauma

positive self talk mental-health-illustration

#5. Reestablishing Purpose and Meaning for One’s Life

Reestablishing purpose and meaning for the PTSD victim’s life in an important prerequisite to recovery.

In fact, after trauma the purpose for one’s life is disrupted. PTSD robs people of many goals and beliefs they used to have in their lives and a void is formed. This void needs to be addressed, as Aristotle said, “Nature abhors a vacuum.”

For example, Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA) survivors spend their first years of life learning trust, only to find that it was no more authentic than a politician’s promise. This can lead to the elimination of a sense of security in their world.

In such case a “values vacuum” take place after experiencing trauma.

Values are the things that people think important. Without them, passion about life is reduced.

Reestablishing meaning and purpose for one’s life helps PTSD sufferers to find something to believe in beyond the everyday struggle to avoid pain.

1. Post-Traumatic Growth: Find Ways to Fill the Vacuum

Tedeschi and Calhoun (1996) propose five ways in which victims experience improvement post-trauma:

(1) relating to others;

(2) new possibilities;

(3) personal strength;

(4) spiritual change; and

(5) appreciation of life.

When passion and commitment to goals guide life, the trauma sufferer becomes capable of coping with the “here and now” struggles. By engaging in approach behavior and moving toward something considered meaningful, the trauma victim finds growth and recovery after trauma.

2. Passions Engineered

Passions and meaning can be created.

By interacting with others whom we admire and engaging on novel things that get us thinking and acting with the concerns of others in mind, we find passions and meaning.

To clarify your values start by reading a list of common values.  Examples of values include authenticity, charity, wealth, love, popularity and fame, education, etc.

Below is a list of values you can inspire from:

Good attitude
Good humor
Hard work
Personal fulfillment
Personal mastery
Sociability Specialness

Choose the ones that stand out the most for you and explore how you can strengthen the ones most important to you and look for people who are considered a “leader” in that activity. This person doesn’t have to know that you’re following him or her. You simply emulate the leader’s example.

Creating and strengthening your new values requires practicing new habits. Once you start building a new history, you start pulling yourself out of past trauma. This might take time, but when done, it can be a better way to live life than spending all of your energy and resources trying to avoid pain day after day.

Recovery from PTSD is possible, but it’s very helpful to have a destination in mind when you begin healing. Your values are what determine that destination.

Related: 7 Signs You Haven’t Found Your Purpose Yet


What Is The Difference Between Acute Stress Disorder And PTSD?

Acute stress disorder, or ASD, is a diagnostic label that is given to individuals when stress reactions happen within the first month of experiencing a trauma.

PTSD, on the other hand, is diagnosed when stress reactions are experienced for longer than a month.

People who develop ASD within the month after the trauma are also more likely to later meet the criteria for PTSD.

It is also possible that someone may experience very few ASD symptoms and still later develop PTSD.

The symptoms of ASD include:

  • Numbness or detachment: Some people have the sense that they do not feel their emotions very strongly after trauma.
  • Reduced awareness of surroundings: Some people may feel in a daze in certain situations.
  • Derealization: After trauma, you may have a sense of detachment from your surroundings.
  • Depersonalization: Some people may their self-awareness, feeling detached from themselves.
  • Dissociative amnesia: Some people are unable to remember parts of or important details of the traumatic event. (*)

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Portions of this article were adapted from the book Trauma Recovery ‑ Sessions With Dr. Matt, © 2018 by Beth Fehlbaum and M. Jaremko. All rights reserved.

Portions of this article were adapted from the book The Cognitive Behavioral Coping Skills Workbook for PTSD, © 2017 by Matthew T Tull. All rights reserved.

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