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Is My Husband Gay Quiz (+Straight Spouse Recovery Resources)

Is My Husband Gay Quiz

This post contains “Is my husband gay quiz” along with straight spouse recovery resources.

Many women spend years in a heterosexual relationship and yet feel something is “off,” and wonder “Is my husband gay?”

Bonnie Kaye, M.ED., an expert in women married to gay men, claims that it is estimated that 4 million women have been, or are, married to gay men. 

Kaye has developed the Official Gay Husband Checklist to help women know if their husbands are gay.

The following quiz represents common signs that a husband can be gay as identified in the checklist:

Is My Husband Gay Quiz


#1. Has there been a decline of sexual activity early in your marriage that never picked up again?

#2. Is he often turned-off by normal sexual activity?

#3. Does he often accuse you of being oversexed, aggressive, or a nymphomaniac when you have normal sexual needs?

#4. Does his sexual performance often seem more mechanical than passionate?

#5. Does he blame his lack of sexual desire for you on “depression” or medication for depression?

#6. Did you find sexual enhancers such as Viagra or Cialis hidden in his private hiding places?

#7. Does he ask you to use sex toys on him because he needs his prostate stimulated?

#8. Did you find pop-ups of gay pornography on the computer?

#9. Does he spend more time at the gym and work on changing his appearance?

#10. Does he claim that he feels “trapped” in the marriage without explaining why?

#11. Does he travel a lot for business, text people at irregular hours, or in general you can’t track his activities?

#12. Does he claim having a "mid-life crisis" and blame it for his depression or moodiness?

#13. Did he tell you about sexual abuse in his childhood/adolescence?

#14. Did he admit to having a homosexual encounter in the past?

#15. Does he describe himself as “bisexual”?

#16. Does he often visit gay bars claiming he’s there only to hang out with his gay friend(s)?

#17. Does he watch porno movies with gay male scenes?

#18. Does he often make too many gay comments in conversations?

#19. Does his ego appear to be boosted by compliments from gay men?


This quiz is for informational purposes only. It is not meant as a diagnostic or assessment tool.


The questions above represent common signs that your husband may be gay. If you answered yes to most of these questions, then your husband may be gay.

What’s next? Straight Spouse Recovery: 9 Ways To Recover & Move on After Finding Out Your Spouse Is Gay

Straight Spouse Recovery Resources

OurPath“: supports Straight Partners of LGB or Trans People post discovery or disclosure.

Psychologist Locator and the National Register are two websites for locating psychologists in the USA.

Online therapy is also an option. It can be much more affordable than in-person therapy, but can be equally effective. (source)

I recommend Calmerry for affordable online therapy.

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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