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Top 40 Covert Narcissist Quotes

Covert Narcissist Quotes

This post contains some of the best covert narcissist quotes.

Covert Narcissist Quotes

1. “A covert narcissist can appear to be a loving partner for a long time. Their behavior often becomes more aggressive at the end of the relationship.” – Debbie Mirza

2. “A covert narcissist is highly manipulative. They are masters at spinning the facts into their own version of what happened to where they come out of it completely innocent you are the villain. They will tell other people you abuse them and yet they love you, so leaving you isn’t an option.” – Edward Brandon

3. “A covert narcissist is someone who has almost the same characteristics as the covert narcissist, but goes about it in an entirely different way but achieves the same result.” – Dr. Theresa J. Covert

Related: The Ultimate Guide to Protect Yourself From a Narcissist

4. “A covert narcissist needs a constant flow of emotional support. You cannot give your emotional support to another person indefinitely.” – Edward Brandon

5. “A covert narcissist never seems to run out of excuses in a relationship.” – Dr. Theresa J. Covert

6. “After a relationship with a covert narcissist, you feel like you can’t trust your perception of reality because no one else can see what you see.” – Debbie Mirza

7. “All the narcissistic traits are true of overts and coverts. The difference is the covert narcissist hides their dark attributes because they want people to like them.” – Debbie Mirza

8. “Covert narcissism is the worst and most insidious form of narcissism because the abuse is so hidden. Most people don’t even realize they are being abused when they are in these relationships.” – Debbie Mirza

Related: Narcissistic Relationship Pattern (+ 14 Tips On How To Deal With Narcissistic Relationship Patterns)

9. “Covert narcissists are likable to the outside world; they appear to be giving, humble, and kind. Image is the most important thing to them. These people are law-abiding citizens. They usually have well paying steady careers. They are not outwardly aggressive. You could know them for years and never see this side of them. This can change during the discard phase.” – Debbie Mirza

10. “Covert narcissists are naturally introverts in nature as opposed to overt narcissists. They tend to be more subtle in their relations with others, but the result is always the same.” – Dr. Theresa J. Covert

11. “Covert narcissists are not capable of real love. It was an illusion. That is an incredibly painful and disillusioning realization.” – Debbie Mirza

12. “Covert narcissists are obsessed with hurting someone back when they feel like they have been wronged by them.” – Edward Brandon

13. “Covert narcissists are often doctors, lawyers, military officers, pilots, motivational speakers, pastors, actors, professors, spiritual leaders, and therapists. They will have careers that are impressive to people and seek positions of authority. There can be exceptions to this, but this is quite common.” – Debbie Mirza

Related: Am I Being Gaslighted Quiz (& How To Recover From Gaslighting In 10 Steps)

14. “Covert narcissists are well liked. They are charming and kind. They appear humble and empathetic. They can be good listeners and appear to really care. You can feel incredibly loved by them. They simultaneously make you feel terrible about yourself. They use cloaked tactics that you don’t see for years.” – Debbie Mirza

15. “Covert narcissists claim not to be able to express their anger. Ironically, they spend most of their lives angry. Their anger is silent and it builds up over time. They will not tell you they are upset with you and why so you can work through it together. They will not share what they are really thinking with you, but with other people.” – Edward Brandon

16. “Covert narcissists control and devalue victims through very subtle manipulation tactics over a long period of time. The impact this has on you is devastating.” – Debbie Mirza

17. “Covert narcissists do not go to the extremes overt narcissists do to gather attention; they are not seen at the forefront of the limelight but rather at the back. They play the victim, or a disturbed or hurt individual, and this works as people tend to sympathize and develop an urge to help.” – Dr. Theresa J. Covert

18. “Covert narcissists feel powerless and that is why they get a sense of power from gaining sympathy.” – Edward Brandon

19. “Covert narcissists often come from an abusive background where their needs were not met and they were not praised. They learned that the only way they could get something they wanted or needed was through manipulation. They thrust themselves into situations where they are the victim as an adult.” – Edward Brandon

Related: 5 Weird Things Covert Narcissists Do To Manipulate Their Victims

20. “Covert narcissists seek out certain types of people. They look for people who are kind, authentic, self-reflective, nurturing, loving, and caring people with a conscience. They look for energy supplies. Without these attributes, the narcissist has no use for you, and their manipulative tactics wouldn’t work on you.” – Debbie Mirza

21. “Covert narcissists slowly break your spirit over time without you seeing it, and you end up feeling emotionally like you were the problem, which results in physical manifestations of various ailments.” – Debbie Mirza

22. “Covert narcissists specialize in shaming you. They blame you for everything. Every problem between the two of you is your fault. Take this as an example. You are taking an online quiz and you have ten minutes to do it. At that exact moment this person comes in and they want to carry a heavy box a long distance.” – Edward Brandon

23. “Covert narcissists take their time to study their surroundings and people to find and exploit individuals who they deem as prey. They can portray themselves as timid, but it is a ploy to garner attention.” – Dr. Theresa J. Covert

24. “Covert narcissists tend to whip out the ‘guilt trip’ card any time.” – Dr. Theresa J. Covert

25. “Covert narcissists will seek out a certain type of person for intimacy. They know what traits someone needs to have to be able to control and manipulate them.” – Debbie Mirza

Related: 21 Stages of a Narcissist Relationship (+FREE Breakup Recovery Worksheets)

26. “For a covert narcissist, the tactics are insidious. Often, they even come to you disguised as someone who needs your help. They know that the things they tell you will bring out your protective instincts. They play on the empathetic nature of people to get attention from them.” – Edward Brandon

27. “For covert narcissists, they often emulate the symptoms of mental disorders such as depression and anxiety so that the attention always has to be on them.” – Edward Brandon

28. “In fact, covert narcissism is a person who is in permanent victim mode. They say “why does this always happen to me” and “why will no one ever give me the breaks that everyone else gets”. They never think about what they can do to better their lives. Their mind plays a constant loop of “I wish I could, but I can’t, and this is why”. You cannot lift them up enough. In fact, they do not want to be lifted up. They only want to drag you down.” – Edward Brandon

29. “In order to really understand the nature of the covert narcissist, you have to have lived it.” – Debbie Mirza

30. “It is common for people to be in romantic relationships with covert narcissists for over 10, 20, 30, 40-plus years not recognizing the abuse they have endured for decades.” – Debbie Mirza

Related: 8 Stages Of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse (+FREE Breakup Recovery Worksheets)

31. “It is easier to spot overt narcissism than covert narcissism as the latter is not straightforward. Often it isn’t until the victim has fallen into the trap that they realize, albeit late, that they have had their emotions played with.” – Dr. Theresa J. Covert

32. “It is very common for targets to say, “We seemed so much alike.” This is because the covert narcissist mirrors you in the beginning, in a sense becomes you. They are observing you during this period. They will ride the wave of emotion you are feeling, so it feels like they are just as excited about this relationship as you are. This can carry on for a while.” – Debbie Mirza

33. “Most people adore covert narcissists because of how very careful they are in choosing who they unmask around and how much effort they put into optics and public perception.” – Debbie Mirza

34. “One reason covert narcissists are so damaging is because of cognitive dissonance. This is when you have two competing thoughts in your mind. You love your mom, spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend and thought they loved you the same. Yet when you look back, their behaviors are making you question your beliefs about them.” – Debbie Mirza

35. “Plausible deniability is the covert narcissist’s greatest weapon in their arsenal of gaslighting tools.” – Debbie Mirza

36. “Survivors of covert narcissists need to know that they’re not crazy.” – Debbie Mirza

Related: Healing From A Narcissistic Abuse By A Parent – 7 Practical Strategies

37. “The narcissistic supply for covert narcissists is the sympathy they get while they portray others as being evil. They will spend hours complaining to someone about you, and this is most likely the person they complain to you for hours at a time about. They often forget what they have said to which people, which is why you will most likely hear the same stories many times in a row.” – Edward Brandon

38. “The word “de-value” says it all. At the beginning of a relationship with a covert narcissist, you feel incredibly valued. Then you begin to experience little things, statements they make, looks they give that begin to demean and devalue you. It is all very subtle. Over a long period of time, you are given the message by someone you love and trust that you have no value, no matter what you do, no matter how kind you are, no matter how much you do for them, you will never ever be enough for them. The cold, hard truth is you do not matter to them, and unfortunately, the message you end up receiving is that you do not matter, period. ” – Debbie Mirza

39. “When a relationship with a covert narcissist ends, it is sudden and painful. It can look like a “normal” divorce, but it is not even close.” – Debbie Mirza

40. “With a covert narcissist everything on the surface looks normal and often lovely for months, years, even decades. They know how to say all the right things, exactly the things that you personally want to hear. They can mirror empathy, concern, and tears better than most Hollywood actors. However, underneath the surface the feeling is off. It’s so subtle that you could easily miss it or dismiss it.” – Debbie Mirza

Related: Top 5 Reasons Why Narcissists Target Empaths – & How to Starve The Narcissist of Supply

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