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Why A Narcissist Won’t Divorce You?

Why A Narcissist Won't Divorce You

In this post, you’re going to find out why a narcissist won’t divorce you and how to cope with it.

Who Is The Narcissist?

A narcissist is a person who has an excessive sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration and attention, a lack of empathy towards others, and often a grandiose and inflated sense of their own abilities and accomplishments.

Related: Top 10 Narcissistic Relationship Patterns

Narcissism vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition that causes significant distress and impairment in different areas of life, such as work, interpersonal relationships, and emotional regulation.

While narcissism is a personality trait that most people possess to some degree, NPD involves extreme and rigid maladaptive patterns of behavior and thinking that are often resistant to change.

Related: 21 Stages of a Narcissist Relationship (+FREE Breakup Recovery Worksheets)

Why A Narcissist Won’t Divorce You

It is important to note that not all individuals exhibit the same behavior when it comes to divorce.

However, here are some possible reasons why a narcissist may not want to divorce you:

1. Control

Narcissists have a strong need to control people and situations around them.

Ending a marriage means giving up their perceived control over you.

They want to feel superior and powerful, and controlling others is one way they achieve that.

They often manipulate and exploit others to get what they want, and they may use coercion or intimidation to maintain their control.

Narcissists may also have deep-seated insecurities and a fear of being vulnerable, which fuels their need for control.

They believe that by being in control, they can avoid feeling weak or exposed.

Related: 5 Weird Things Covert Narcissists Do To Manipulate Their Victims

2. Fear of Being Alone

Narcissists crave attention, admiration, and validation from others, and being alone can be a terrifying thought for them.

 They may worry that they won’t be able to find someone else who will be willing to put up with their behavior or provide them with the same level of attention and adoration.

Additionally, narcissists tend to have a deep-seated fear of abandonment.

The thought of their partner leaving them can trigger feelings of rejection and worthlessness, which can be difficult for them to handle.

Related: Narcissist Baiting – What it is, Why it Happens, and How to Stop it

3. Financial Gain

As a narcissist is motivated by self-interest and a desire for power, they may see financial gain as a reason to stay married to their partner.

This could include maintaining access to their spouse’s income, assets, or resources, or avoiding the financial consequences of a divorce settlement.

Additionally, a narcissist may view staying in the marriage as a way to maintain a certain lifestyle or social status that they perceive as beneficial to their self-image.

Related: How Narcissists Treat Their Exes (+FREE Worksheets PDF)

4. Public Image

Narcissists are often very concerned with how they are perceived by others and will go to great lengths to maintain a positive image.

They may worry about being seen as someone who has failed at marriage or as someone who couldn’t keep their partner happy.

Additionally, a divorce can be a messy and public affair, and a narcissist will want to avoid any negative attention that could come from it.

They may also want to avoid any potential damage to their reputation, especially if they have a high-profile job or social status.

Related: Top 5 Reasons Why Narcissists Target Empaths – & How to Starve The Narcissist of Supply

5. Emotional Attachment

Even if a narcissist no longer loves or cares for their spouse, they may still have an emotional attachment to the relationship and may cling to it even if it is unhealthy.

They may feel a sense of ownership and control over their partner and may be unwilling to let go.

Related: Are You A Victim of Narcissistic Abuse Quiz

6. Revenge

Narcissists may resist divorce simply as a way to seek revenge on their spouse for perceived wrongdoings.

This can manifest in dragging out the proceedings, seeking custody battles, or using legal battles as a way to punish their spouse.

It is important to remember that every individual’s situation is unique, and these reasons may not apply to every narcissist or every divorce.

Related: When A Narcissist Sees You Cry: Top 13 Reactions You May Be Familiar With

How to Cope When A Narcissist Won’t Divorce You?

Dealing with a narcissistic partner can be extremely challenging, especially when it comes to divorce.

Here are some tips to help you cope if your narcissistic partner won’t divorce you:

1. Seek Legal Advice: First and foremost, seek legal advice from an experienced divorce lawyer. They can advise you on the steps you need to take to proceed with the divorce and protect your assets.

2. Set Boundaries: Set clear boundaries with your ex-partner and communicate them firmly and respectfully. Avoid engaging in arguments or trying to reason with them. Keep interactions to a minimum and only discuss necessary matters related to the divorce process.

Related: How To Set Boundaries With A Narcissist?

3. Practice Self-Care: Set aside time for self-care activities, such as meditation, yoga, going for walks or exercising. Take care of your physical and mental health by seeing a therapist or counselor, if needed.

4. Lean on Support Systems: Reach out to trusted friends and family members who can provide emotional support during this difficult time. Consider joining a support group for people who are going through or have gone through a divorce.

5. Focus on Your Goals: Stay focused on your goals and what you want to achieve from the divorce. Don’t get sidetracked by your ex-partner’s attempts to control or manipulate you. Stay calm and keep your eyes on the prize.

Related: How To Turn The Tables On A Gaslighter?

toxic relationships worksheets


A narcissist may refuse to divorce you for a number of reasons.

It is important to seek professional help if you are dealing with a narcissistic partner to ensure your own safety and well-being.


Can Two Narcissists Marry Each Other?

Certainly, two narcissists can marry each other.

However, it is important to understand that a relationship between two narcissists can present some unique challenges.

Narcissists tend to have a strong need for attention, validation, and admiration, which can sometimes lead to conflicts and power struggles within the relationship.

However, every individual is different, and it is possible for two narcissists to find a balance and understanding in their relationship.

Do Narcissists Hate Themselves?

While it may seem counterintuitive, narcissists actually have a deep-seated hatred and insecurity within themselves.

However, they often mask these feelings by projecting an exaggerated sense of self-importance and superiority onto others.

Their outward behavior and grandiose demeanor are defense mechanisms that protect them from facing their own insecurities and self-doubt.

Do Narcissists Get Jealous?

Yes, narcissists can experience jealousy just like anyone else.

However, their jealousy may be fueled by their need for admiration and attention.

They may become jealous if they feel someone else is receiving more attention or praise than they are.

This can be particularly true in romantic relationships, where a narcissist may feel threatened by their partner’s attention to other people or interests.

How Long Can A Narcissist Stay Married?

The length of time a narcissist can stay married varies and is influenced by various factors.

Some may stay in the marriage for years, even decades, while others may constantly seek new relationships and move on quickly.

Narcissists are often highly skilled at presenting a charming and charismatic facade, which can make it difficult for their partners to recognize their manipulative and self-centered behavior.

However, as their true traits become more apparent, the marriage may begin to unravel.

Ultimately, the length of a narcissist’s marriage depends on their ability to maintain control and their partner’s willingness to tolerate their behavior.

By Hadiah

Hadiah is a counselor who is passionate about supporting individuals on their journey towards mental well-being. Hadiah not only writes insightful articles on various mental health topics but also creates engaging and practical mental health worksheets.

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