In this post, you’re going to find out why the narcissist worries after discarding you.
Who Is The Narcissist?
A narcissist is someone who has an excessive sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration and attention, and a lack of empathy for others.
Narcissists often have an exaggerated sense of their own achievements and abilities.
Some common traits of narcissism include:
1. Grandiosity: A narcissist may have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe they are superior to others.
2. Need for admiration: They constantly seek admiration and validation from others to boost their self-esteem.
3. Lack of empathy: Narcissists struggle to understand or empathize with the feelings and needs of others.
4. Sense of entitlement: They often feel entitled to special treatment and expect others to meet their demands.
5. Exploitative behavior: Narcissists may take advantage of others to achieve their own goals without considering the well-being of others.
6. Preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, and beauty: They may daydream about limitless success, power, or appearance-based perfection.
7. Fragile self-esteem: Beneath their grandiose exterior, narcissists can have an underlying fragility and be easily wounded by criticism or perceived slights.
Related: Best 10 Books On Narcissistic Abuse
Why Does The Narcissist Discard People?
The narcissist’s tendency to discard people can be a complex behavior stemming from their underlying psychological makeup.
It’s important to remember that every individual is unique, and not all narcissists will display the same behaviors or motivations.
However, the following are some common reasons why a narcissist may discard someone:
1. Idealization and devaluation
Narcissists often go through cycles of idealizing and devaluing others. Initially, they may idealize someone, seeing them as perfect and showering them with attention.
However, when the person fails to meet their unrealistic expectations or challenges their superiority, the narcissist may devalue and discard them.
2. Need for control
Narcissists desire control and dominance in relationships.
When they sense a loss of control or perceive someone as no longer serving their needs, they may choose to discard them to regain a sense of power and superiority.
3. Lack of empathy
Narcissists have difficulty empathizing with others and tend to prioritize their own needs and desires.
This lack of empathy can make it easier for them to discard someone without considering the emotional impact it may have on the other person.
4. Fear of intimacy
Narcissists often struggle with genuine intimacy due to their fear of vulnerability and potential rejection.
If a relationship starts becoming more emotionally intimate, the narcissist may retreat and discard the person as a way to avoid getting too close.
5. Seeking validation and admiration
Narcissists rely heavily on others’ validation and admiration to maintain their inflated self-image.
If they perceive that someone can no longer provide the desired level of validation or challenges their grandiosity, they may discard them in search of someone who can fulfill those needs.
It’s important to recognize that these are general explanations and individual circumstances may vary.
Why The Narcissist Worries After Discarding You
The narcissist’s worry or concern after discarding someone can stem from several potential reasons.
Again, it’s important to remember that individual circumstances may vary.
Here are some possible explanations:
1. Loss of control
When a narcissist discards someone, they may still have a desire for control over that person, even if they no longer want an active relationship with them.
The worry could arise from the fear that the discarded person will move on, gain independence, or expose the narcissist’s true nature, thereby threatening their sense of control.
2. Need for validation
Narcissists rely heavily on external validation and admiration to maintain their self-esteem.
After discarding someone, they may worry about losing a source of validation and seek reassurance that the person still views them as superior or valuable.
3. Fear of abandonment
Despite the narcissist initiating the discard, they may still fear being abandoned themselves.
This fear can arise from a deep-rooted insecurity or a fear of losing a potential future source of attention, admiration, or resources.
4. Concern for their image
Narcissists often prioritize maintaining their public image and reputation.
After discarding someone, they might worry about how the person will speak about them to others or if their actions will be exposed, leading to potential damage to their carefully crafted image.
It’s important to note that these worries may not reflect genuine concern or empathy but rather self-centered motivations.
Understanding the reasons behind the narcissist’s worry can provide some insight into their mindset, but it is crucial to prioritize your own well-being and seek support from qualified mental health professionals when dealing with such situations.
How to Cope with The Discard From a Narcissist?
Coping with the discard from a narcissist can be challenging, but there are strategies that can help you navigate this difficult experience.
Here are some suggestions:
1. Validate your emotions
It’s normal to feel hurt, angry, betrayed, or confused after being discarded by a narcissist.
Acknowledge and validate these emotions, allowing yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship and process your feelings.
2. Seek support
Reach out to trusted friends, family, or support groups who can provide understanding, empathy, and a safe space for you to express yourself.
Consider seeking professional therapy or counseling to help you navigate the emotional aftermath and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
3. Set boundaries
Establish clear boundaries with the narcissist to protect yourself.
This may involve limiting or cutting off contact and creating physical and emotional distance.
Boundaries help prevent further manipulation and allow you to focus on healing and rebuilding your life.
4. Practice self-care
Engage in activities that promote your physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
This can include exercise, proper nutrition, getting enough sleep, engaging in hobbies, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and taking time for self-reflection and self-care routines.
5. Educate yourself about narcissism
Understanding the dynamics of narcissistic behavior can help you gain clarity and perspective.
Learning about narcissism can empower you to recognize the manipulative tactics employed by the narcissist, helping you detach emotionally and establish healthier relationships in the future.
6. Focus on personal growth
Use this experience as an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. Explore your own strengths, interests, and values.
Reconnect with your identity and build a strong sense of self-worth.
Engaging in personal development activities such as journaling, therapy, or self-help books can facilitate this process.
7. Practice self-compassion
Be gentle and kind to yourself during this healing process.
Recognize that you deserve love, respect, and happiness.
Embrace self-compassion by practicing self-acceptance, self-forgiveness, and self-care.
Narcissism vs. NPD
Narcissism refers to a personality trait commonly found in individuals to varying degrees.
It includes an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for excessive admiration, and a tendency to focus primarily on one’s own desires and accomplishments.
While narcissism can be problematic in relationships and interactions, it does not necessarily indicate the presence of a clinical disorder.
2. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
NPD is a specific mental health condition characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.
People with NPD often have an exaggerated sense of entitlement, believe they are special or unique, and struggle with regulating their self-esteem.
The symptoms of NPD significantly impact their interpersonal relationships and overall functioning.
While narcissism can sometimes be seen as a personality trait, NPD represents a more extreme and rigid manifestation of narcissistic behaviors that cause significant distress and impairment in an individual’s life.
NPD is diagnosed by a mental health professional using specific criteria outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).
Hadiah is a counselor who is passionate about supporting individuals on their journey towards mental well-being. Hadiah not only writes insightful articles on various mental health topics but also creates engaging and practical mental health worksheets.
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