Who Is The Narcissist?
Narcissists are people who have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy.
Although narcissists appear ultra confident, their grandiosity only serves as a mask to hide their fragile self-esteem.
Is My Mother-In-Law A Narcissist Quiz
#1. Does she seem to constantly need everyone’s attention?
#2. Does she seem to be constantly fishing for compliments and praise?
#3. Does she lack empathy and doesn’t take responsibility for her own hurtful words and actions?
#4. Does she have an overly-inflated opinion of herself, overestimating her accomplishments and often appearing pretentious?
#5. Does she often take advantage of others and seem to never form or maintain relationships unless she will gain something from it?
#6. Does she often become aggressive and hostile when she doesn’t get what she wants?
#7. Does she believe she’s always right and become defensive when challenged or ignored?
#8. Does she believe that she’s superior to everyone else?
#9. Does she seem to struggle to understand and respect boundaries set by others?
#10. Does she have a favorite child/grandchild and lets everyone know that?
Note: This test is not meant to act as a substitute for proper assessment.
Results
The questions above represent common signs of narcissism. If you answered yes to most of these questions, then your mother-in-law might be a narcissist.
Related: How To Set Boundaries With Narcissistic Parents?
How to Deal With a Narcissistic Mother-In-Law?
Dealing with a narcissistic mother-in-law can be challenging, but here are some tips that may help:
#1. Set Boundaries
Establish clear boundaries with your mother-in-law and stick to them firmly.
Narcissists often push boundaries, so it’s important to be clear and consistent in enforcing them.
Here are some steps you can take:
1. Identify your boundaries: Take some time to reflect on what boundaries are important to you and what behaviors from your mother-in-law are unacceptable. This might include things like no unsolicited advice or criticism, no surprise visits, etc.
2. Communicate your boundaries: Clearly and assertively communicate your boundaries to your mother-in-law. Be firm, but also respectful and polite. Let her know what you will and won’t tolerate.
3. Enforce consequences: If your mother-in-law violates your boundaries, enforce consequences. It’s important to stick to your boundaries and not give in to any manipulation or guilt-trips.
Related: How To Set Boundaries With A Narcissist?
#2. Don’t Take It Personally
Remember that the narcissistic behavior is not about you.
It is a reflection of your mother-in-law’s personality disorder.
Don’t let her behavior affect your self-esteem or relationships.
#3. Avoid Arguments
Narcissists thrive on conflict and attention.
One of the best ways to minimize conflicts with a narcissistic mother-in-law is to avoid arguments as much as possible.
This means refraining from engaging in discussions or situations that may trigger her insecurities or need for control.
Another effective strategy is to practice active listening and empathy.
Try to understand where your mother-in-law is coming from and what may be motivating her behavior, even if you don’t agree with it.
This doesn’t mean you have to condone or enable her behavior, but it can help you approach her with more compassion and patience.
Related: 5 Weird Things Covert Narcissists Do To Manipulate Their Victims
#4. Keep Communication Minimal
Dealing with a narcissistic mother-in-law can be an incredibly challenging task, as they tend to dominate conversations and always want to be the center of attention.
One effective way to reduce conflict with a narcissistic mother-in-law is to keep communication minimal.
This means limiting interactions with her to essential conversations such as family events or important announcements.
To do this, you can try setting boundaries by gently refusing to engage in topics that typically lead to arguments or drama.
Also try not to offer too much personal information that she may use against you.
You may also try limiting the amount of time you spend together or avoiding certain topics of conversation.
Related: How To Turn The Tables On A Gaslighter?
#5. Focus On Positive Interactions
When interacting with your mother-in-law, focus on positive topics and try to engage her in activities that she enjoys.
You may try acknowledging and complimenting her on things she does well.
For example, if she is a great cook, let her know how much you enjoy her meals.
#6. Don’t Expect Change
If you find yourself dealing with a narcissistic mother-in-law, it’s essential to understand that change is unlikely.
These types of individuals often lack self-awareness and are resistant to feedback or criticism.
Rather than expecting change, it’s important to focus on setting boundaries and managing your expectations.
For example, if your mother-in-law constantly criticizes your parenting skills, set a boundary by politely but firmly informing her that you appreciate her concern but ultimately have to make your own decisions.
If she tries to manipulate or control situations, such as holiday plans, stand firm and reassert your own needs and preferences.
Additionally, managing your expectations by accepting that your mother-in-law may never deeply understand or empathize with you can help to reduce frustration and emotional stress.
Related: Top 5 Reasons Why Narcissists Target Empaths – & How to Starve The Narcissist of Supply
#7. Seek Support
It’s important to have a support system when dealing with a narcissistic mother-in-law.
Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for guidance and support.
Conclusion
Dealing with a narcissistic mother-in-law can be emotionally draining and challenging, but it’s important to prioritize your mental health and well-being.
References
- Narcissism Driven by Insecurity, Not Grandiose Sense of Self, New Psychology Research Shows (nyu.edu)
- What New Research Is Telling Us About Narcissism | Psychology Today
- You Probably Think this Paper’s About You: Narcissists’ Perceptions of their Personality and Reputation – PMC (nih.gov)