Top 9 Acts of Self Love to Start Practicing Today

This post contains some of the best acts of self love to help you become your best self.

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

What Is Self-Love?

For many people, self-love sounds indulgent and luxurious.

Some people don’t feel like they have the time for self-love when work and family demand so much of their time and energy.

But self-love is more than getting a manicure or soaking in the tub.

Relaxation and nurturing yourself is important, but true self-love involves more.

Self-love is about connecting with our own feelings and thoughts, identifying our values, and creating an authentic life that is in line with those values.

Self Love Vs Selfishness

Selfishness is about thinking of oneself and meeting your own needs without thinking of others or being considerate to their needs.

Self-love, on the other hand, is about caring for yourself and meeting your own needs while also being considerate of others.

Selfishness is “me only”, while self-love is “me too”.

Self Love Vs Self Care

Self-love and self-care are strongly related.

But more specifically, self-love focuses on feelings (how you feel about yourself), while self-care focuses on actions (how you treat yourself).

In this sense, self-care can be self-love in action.

Top 9 Acts of Self Love

#1. Put Yourself First & Make Time For You

Putting yourself first may sound counterintuitive, especially when you have so many responsibilities or when you’re the one constantly giving to and nurturing others.

But even five minutes every day can be a big step.

Work on finding ways to set aside 5 or 10 minutes every day to journal, listen to meditation music, uninterrupted, or even drink a cup of tea while watching the sunrise.

#2. Get To Know Yourself

Self-love work involves getting in touch with yourself, including your feelings, thoughts, needs, and desires.

The following are journaling prompts to help you get to know yourself better:

Describe yourself using the first 10 words that come to mind.
What do you appreciate most about your personality? What aspects do you find harder to accept?
What do you fear most about the future?
What excites you most about the future?
What is something you would love to do, but you’re not sure you can?
What are your goals moving forward in life? How do they match up to your goals from 5 years ago?
Do your goals truly reflect your desires? Or do they reflect what someone else (a parent, partner, friend, etc.) wants for you?
What values do you consider most important in life (honesty, altruism, loyalty, compassion, authenticity, etc.)? What changes can you make to be more in line with your personal values?
Describe a choice you regret. What did you learn from it?
What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
What secrets are you holding onto? What harm are they causing?
What are some things that you like about yourself that others seem to criticize you about?
What limiting beliefs do you have that’s keeping you from reaching your dream life?

#3. Talk To Yourself In A Kind And Supportive Way

Self-love can’t grow in the context of shame and self-criticism.

Speaking to yourself in kind and loving way every day can help you change how you feel about yourself.

Oftentimes, you find it much easier to show compassion to others than to ourselves.

If you find it difficult to come up with something encouraging and compassionate at times, think about what you would tell a friend who is in the same situation and say it to yourself!

#4. Work Toward Cultivating Body Neutrality

The term “body neutrality” gained popularity in 2016 when counselor Anne Poirier started leading workshops that help participants acknowledge that loving their bodies isn’t always a realistic expectation.

The goal here is to step back from our self-talk about our appearance and allow ourselves to exist within our bodies without judgment, which helps free us to focus on things that matter most to us.

We may not always like the way we look, but there’s nothing wrong with that.

Many people compare themselves to others and end up feeling worse after scrolling through Facebook or Instagram.

Take a look at the list of social media account you follow and ask yourself the following questions for each account:

How do I feel after being on this social media account? Empowered? Inadequate? Dissatisfied?

Consider adjusting your feeds or Unfollowing accounts that don’t empower you.

#6. Find Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is about extending the same kindness we would offer others to ourselves.

Self-compassion also requires acknowledging past mistakes and hurt without judgment.

Self-compassion allows us to work through our difficult emotions.

To practice self-compassion think about what you would tell a friend in the same situation, dealing with the same difficult feelings. Say it to yourself!

#7. Adopt A More Confident Body Language

Studies show that adopting an upright posture can improve self-esteem and increase positive mood. (*)

Try standing up straight, take a deep breath, and make sure your feet are solidly on the floor. Notice how you feel.

#8. Counter Self-Doubt

Self-doubt is one of the main factors that keep us stuck.

Self-doubt may sound like, “What if I fail?” or, “What if they don’t like me?” or, “What if I don’t get the job?”

To counter this, write down self-doubt thoughts you often have and try to respond with the opposite of your doubt.

Example: What if I lose à What if I win?

#9. Use Affirmations to Reinforce Self-Love

Mantras and affirmations are a great way to reinforce new positive beliefs.

The following are some examples. Choose the ones that resonate with you and add ones of your own:

I allow myself to feel all my emotions, even uncomfortable ones.
I am doing the best that I can, and that is good enough.
I am worthy.
I can make mistakes. They are a normal part of the learning process.
I pay attention to my body and its needs.

How to use affirmations?

Say it. Say the affirmation confidently and with conviction at least twice a day.

Write it. Write your affirmation over and over again.

Post it. Write your affirmation on sticky notes and place them when you can see them every day (bathroom mirror, car dashboard, desk, refrigerator, etc.)

Hear it. Record yourself saying the affirmation and play the recording when you’re sitting in silence or driving in your car.

What If My Mind Doesn’t Believe Affirmations?

Our minds can resist unfamiliar ideas including positive affirmations.

When you tell yourself, “I am amazing,” your mind jumps right in and starts arguing that you’re not.

When you state your affirmation as a question, such as “Why am I so amazing?” Your mind will jump in to answer the question, looking for reasons why it is true.

Apply this method to your existing list of affirmations. Add “why” at the beginning and notice how you feel when you ask those questions.

Conclusion

At first, practicing self-love may feel like work or even self-indulgent at times.

However, with daily practice, self-love becomes second nature.

FREE Self-Love Resources

Books

The Gifts of Imperfection By Brené Brown
Self-Love Workbook for Women By Megan Logan
Self-Love Workbook for Black Women By Rachel Johnson

FREE Worksheets

Self-Care Worksheets: Download PDF
Self-Compassionate Statements: Download PDF
Self-Esteem Worksheets: Download PDF

TED Talks

Say yes to you : a guide to self-love | Lily Zhao
Self-Love: If You Do Only One Thing, Do This! | Frankie Côté
Self-Love, be Intentional | Caitlyn Roux

Podcasts

Mary’s Cup of Tea Podcast: The Self-Love Podcast for Women: Mary Jelkovsky’s podcast explores the depths of feminism, body positivity, self-worth and much more.
She’s All Fat: A podcast described as ‘radical self-love’ hosted by Sophie and April.