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Best 10 Books On Healing Anxious Attachment

Books On Healing Anxious Attachment

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What Is Anxious Attachment?

Anxious attachment style is one of the three main attachment styles (anxious, avoidant, secure) identified in attachment theory, which was developed by psychologist John Bowlby.

Anxious attachment style typically develops in early childhood as a result of inconsistent or unpredictable caregiving experiences.

Individuals with this attachment style tend to have a heightened sensitivity to perceived threats of rejection or abandonment in their relationships.

Some common characteristics of anxious attachment include:

1. Fear of abandonment: Individuals with anxious attachment often have a deep fear of being left or rejected by their partners. This fear can lead to clinginess, jealousy, and possessiveness.

2. Excessive need for reassurance: People with anxious attachment seek constant reassurance from their partners to feel secure in the relationship. They may frequently seek validation and affirmation, leading to dependence on their partner’s responses.

3. Overanalyzing and interpreting behaviors: Anxious individuals often overanalyze their partner’s words and actions, searching for signs of potential rejection or abandonment. They can easily misinterpret neutral or ambiguous signals, leading to heightened anxiety.

4. Intense emotional reactions: Anxious attachment can result in heightened emotional reactions to relationship stressors. Individuals with this attachment style may become easily overwhelmed, emotionally reactive, and may struggle with regulating their emotions.

It’s important to note that anxious attachment is not a diagnosis but rather a common attachment style that develops early in life.

Books On Healing Anxious Attachment

1. Attached

By Amir Levine, Rachel Heller

Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

Related: How To Heal From Anxious Attachment Style In 5 Steps

2. Insecure in Love

By Leslie Becker-Phelps PhD

In Insecure in Love, you’ll learn how to overcome attachment anxiety using compassionate self-awareness, a technique that can help you recognize your negative thoughts or unhealthy behavior patterns and respond to them in a nurturing way―rather than beating yourself up. You’ll also learn how insecurity can negatively affect healthy dialog between you and your partner (or potential partners) and develop the skills needed to stop you from reverting back to old patterns of neediness and possessiveness.

Related: Top 65 Journal Prompts For Anxious Attachment

3. Anxiously Attached

By Jessica Baum

Developed over ten years in private practice, Baum’s signature Self-full® Method has helped her clients get off the toxic roller coaster of anxious attachment and discover the secure and mutually supportive relationships they deserve. In this book readers will learn how to:

  • Create boundaries to safeguard their sense of self-sovereignty in relationships.
  • Communicate to their partner what they need to feel safe and secure in their relationship.
  • Gain a clear understanding of how their nervous system is subconsciously influencing their relationships.
  • Learn the true meaning of a healthy/interdependent relationship and how to establish one with their partner or future partner.
  • Discover a compassionate path towards healing through experiences like mediation practices where they can start to develop more insight into their internal landscape.
  • Attain a deep understanding of the anxious-avoidant dance that is extremely common in intimacy struggles.

Related: Anxious Preoccupied Attachment Style (What Is It & How To Overcome It?)

4. The Attachment Theory Workbook

By Annie Chen LMFT

This workbook offers:

  • The basics of attachment theory―Find a comprehensive overview of the Anxious, Avoidant, and Secure attachment styles, with self-assessments that help you understand which ones apply to you.
  • Active strategies for healing—Develop your relationship skills with exercises like listing what you love about someone, and answering questions about how hypothetical scenarios make you feel.
  • For yourself and others—This expert advice helps you explore your own attachment style as well as identify the attachment style of others, so you can better understand their perspective.

Related: 10 Steps To End Fearful Avoidant Chase

5. Stop Overthinking Your Relationship

By Alicia Muñoz LPC

In Stop Overthinking Your Relationship, certified couples therapist Alicia Muñoz draws from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness to offer an effective, four-step approach to reduce rumination and change negative thinking patterns. By understanding both your own unique attachment style—as well as your partner’s—you’ll learn how to communicate more effectively, meet each other’s needs, and focus on what really matters in your relationship.

Using the SLOW approach, you’ll learn how to:

  • See rumination in process
  • Label your rumination cycle
  • Open yourself and make space
  • Welcome blocked experiences

Related: Best 10 Anxiety In Relationship Books

6. The Attachment Theory Journal

By James Nee Hundley LCSW

Attachment theory explores the different ways we develop bonds with others. Filled with prompts and practices grounded in attachment theory, this guided journal empowers you to understand yourself better and improve intimacy, honesty, and communication with everyone in your life.

  • How do you experience attachment?—Explore the anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment styles, and determine which feel true to you.
  • Discover tools for growth—Cultivate more genuine connections with exercises like practicing mindfulness, tolerating disappointment, and tracking your emotional responses to different situations.
  • Find additional support—Complete this journal on its own or alongside The Attachment Theory Workbook for extra guidance.

Related: Top 15 Journal Prompts For Relationship Anxiety

7. Attachment Theory Workbook for Couples

By Elizabeth Gillette LCSW

It’s no secret that even the best relationships need to be nurtured. This couples’ workbook offers a new framework, helping you and your partner pinpoint your individual attachment styles to understand their effects on your relationship dynamics.

  • An explanation of attachment theory—Explore the four attachment styles (anxious, avoidant, disorganized, and secure), and learn how each one forms, their common characteristics, and how to identify your own primary style.
  • Engaging exercises—Thoughtful prompts and activities help you and your partner develop tools to better connect, from quieting your respective inner critics to spontaneously hugging for 20 seconds.
  • Relatable scenarios—See how other couples’ attachment styles play out in their relationships to gain insight into your own situation.

Related: Do I Have Relationship Anxiety Quiz

8. Anxious Attachment Recovery

By Linda Hill

This book, offered in both audio and physical format, will teach you how to foster such a relationship, exploring topics such as:

✓ How to recover from being anxiously attached and achieve a secure attachment style.
✓ The blueprint to reach intimacy with your partner without being anxiously attached.
✓ How to cope with anxious attachments in your current relationship or dating life.
✓ Learn different types of attachment styles, and how they affect your relationship.
✓ Guided meditations and affirmations to help you break free from anxious attachments.
✓ And much, much more…

Related: Is It ROCD Or Am I Not In Love? Top 4 Powerful Ways to Overcome Relationship Anxiety And ROCD

9. Anxious Attachment No More!!

By Taha Zaid

This book will teach you:

◆ What anxious attachment means and how to tell if you have an anxious attachment.
◆ The dating patterns that anxious attachment often causes and patterns that you can instill to overcome anxious behaviors.
◆ How anxious attachment looks in relationships versus how secure attachment looks in relationships.
◆ The nervous system’s role in your attachment style and how using the way your brain is wired can transform how you engage romantically.
◆ Scientifically proven ways of resisting your insecure attachment style.
◆ Dating exercises you can use to break free from some of the anxious thoughts that hold you back.
◆ How to reshape your attachment style and rewrite the negative thought patterns that feed into that anxious attachment.
◆ Ways to promote self-esteem, intimacy, and autonomy in your life so that you have more confidence and the ability to heal some of your self-doubts that feed your anxiety.
◆ A logical approach to healing emotional wounds that lessen the joy you feel.

Related: Emotional Intimacy Test (+13 Tips On How To Increase Emotional Intimacy In A Relationship?)

10. Anxious Attachment Recovery

By Alison Bishop

This book will:

– Discuss the origin of your anxious attachment style.
– Clearly explain what anxious attachment is, where it comes from, and why we have it.
– Practical steps to move towards secure attachment.
– Discuss what is needed to heal anxious attachment.
– Provide suggestions for healthy communication in relationships
– Reduce anxious attachment experiences
– Provide practices to increase self-soothing, resilience, self-esteem, and boundary-setting
– Support you in becoming aware of lifelong patterns

Related: Retroactive Jealousy Test (+Top 9 Tips On How To Deal With Retroactive Jealousy?)

Secure Attachment Worksheets

How Books On Healing Anxious Attachment Can Help?

Books on healing anxious attachment can be a valuable resource in understanding and addressing the challenges associated with this attachment style.

They offer insights, strategies, and practical advice to help individuals develop more secure and fulfilling relationships.

Here are some ways these books can assist:

1. Education and self-awareness

Books on healing anxious attachment provide knowledge about attachment theory, allowing you to understand the root causes of your anxieties and how they impact your relationships.

This self-awareness is essential for personal growth and developing healthier attachment patterns.

2. Practical strategies and tools

These books often include practical exercises, techniques, and strategies that can help you manage anxiety and develop more secure attachment behaviors.

They may offer step-by-step guides to implementing healthier relational patterns, building trust, and improving communication skills.

3. Case studies and real-life examples

Many books on healing anxious attachment include case studies or real-life examples that illustrate how others have overcome similar challenges.

Reading about success stories and learning from the experiences of others can provide inspiration and guidance on your own journey towards healing.

Related: Earned Secure Attachment: What Is It And How To Become More Securely Attached?

4. Building resilience and self-esteem

Anxious attachment can often be rooted in low self-esteem and insecurities.

Books in this domain often address these issues, offering strategies to build self-esteem, enhance self-worth, and cultivate resilience.

This can empower you to overcome your anxious tendencies and develop a stronger sense of self.

5. Expert guidance

The authors of books on healing anxious attachment are often experts in the field of psychology or attachment theory.

Their expertise is combined with research-based information and clinical experience, providing you with credible and reliable guidance to navigate your attachment challenges.

Related: Anxious Preoccupied Attachment Style (What Is It & How To Overcome It?)


While books can be helpful, it’s always advisable to consult a professional therapist or psychologist who can provide personalized guidance tailored to your specific needs and circumstances.

By Hadiah

Hadiah is a counselor who is passionate about supporting individuals on their journey towards mental well-being. Hadiah not only writes insightful articles on various mental health topics but also creates engaging and practical mental health worksheets.

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