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Best +35 Codependency Quotes Every Codependent Needs To Read

Best +35 Codependency Quotes Every Codependent Needs To Read

This post includes codependency quotes that will help you become more aware of your codependent behaviors and support your healing journey.

Are you struggling to change your codependent behaviors?

Sometimes an inspirational quote can help you become aware of your issues and inspire you to work on healing yourself.

There is also a list of resources at the end of the post. Make sure you check them out!

Who Is The Codependent?

“A codependent person is one who has let another person’s behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person’s behavior.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More

But a codependent is also this:

“What’s a codependent? The answer’s easy. They’re some of the most loving, caring people I know.”

― Melody Beattie

Codependency Quotes

As a codependent, you may struggle with the issues, such as perfectionism, people-pleasing, boundary setting, love addiction, shame, emotional abuse, trauma, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, poor communication, lack of self-awareness.

Denial Quotes

“Many of us live in denial of who we truly are because we fear losing someone or something-and there are times that if we don’t rock the boat, too often the one we lose is ourselves…It feels good to be accepted, loved, and approved of by others, but often the membership fee to belong to that club is far too high of a price to pay.”
― Dennis Merritt Jones

“Denial is the biggest obstacle to healing, and the denial around shame is immense, undoubtedly because shame is our most painful emotion. Some people who have belonged to a Twelve Step program for decades are unaware of how deeply shame controls them”
― Darlene Lancer, Conquering Shame and Codependency

Related: How To Step Out Of Denial? Top 10 Steps To Overcome Denial When The Truth Is Heartbreaking

People-pleasing Quotes

“If you live your life to please everyone else, you will continue to feel frustrated and powerless. This is because what others want may not be good for you. You are not being mean when you say NO to unreasonable demands or when you express your ideas, feelings, and opinions, even if they differ from those of others.”
― Beverly Engel, The Nice Girl Syndrome

“The only thing wrong with trying to please everyone is that there is always at least one person who will remain unhappy. You.”

― Elizabeth Parker

Related: How To Stop Being A People Pleaser? Top 21 Proven Ways to Stop People Pleasing (+Free Worksheets)

Unhealthy Relationships Quotes

“In all codependent relationships, the rescuer needs the victim as much as the victim needs the rescuer.”

 Barbara De Angelis

 “Concerning the narcissist- after having been so seemingly incredibly loving and gentle, compassionate and caring- it would be like a light switch had suddenly been turned off and “all of a sudden” they simply did not care. They turned into a cold person, someone without love, compassion, empathy or regard for the subject’s feelings what so ever. It’s like they suddenly and literally stopped being human.”
― Jacqueline Servantess, The Other Woman

“False guilt is feeling guilty when one is not actually guilty. Genuine guilt is a result of wrongdoing. It is appropriate to feel guilty if we had done something wrong. However, false guilt is rooted in deception, denial, and dysfunction. It is directly connected to our destructive and codependent relationship with a narcissist.”
 Dana Arcuri, Certified Trauma Recovery Coach, Soul Rescue

“Allowing bad behavior rewards it. Behavior rewarded is repeated. Don’t wait for your anger to confront.”

― Darlene Lancer

“I learned again and again in my life, until you get your own act together, you’re not ready for Big Love. What you’re ready for is one of those codependent relationships where you desperately need a partner.”

―  Bruce H. Lipton

Related: How To Set Boundaries In A Toxic Relationship? Top 25 Effective Ways to Enforce Boundaries In Relationships

Healing Codependency Quotes

Some of the most important components of codependency recovery include:  Self-awareness, setting boundaries, being more assertive, letting go of controlling behavior, learning how to receive, self-care, self-love and self-acceptance.


“Healing begins with awareness, understanding, and action.”

― Diane Metcalf

“Don’t be a victim of your thoughts.”

― Darlene Lancer

“Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn’t have the time to sit around and talk about you. What’s important to me is not others’ opinions of me, but what’s important to me is my opinion of myself.”

― C. JoyBell C.

Related: Top 10 Clear Signs Of Toxic Shame In A Person (& How to Deal With Toxic Shame?)

Codependency Quotes (2)

Setting Boundaries & Becoming More Assertive

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.”

― Brene Brown

 “When we begin to set boundaries with people we love, a really hard thing happens: they hurt. They may feel a hole where you used to plug up their aloneness, their disorganization, or their financial irresponsibility. Whatever it is, they will feel a loss. If you love them, this will be difficult for you to watch. But, when you are dealing with someone who is hurting, remember that your boundaries are both necessary for you and helpful for them. If you have been enabling them to be irresponsible, your limit setting may nudge them toward responsibility.”

― Henry Cloud

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.”

― Anna Taylor

“We can say what we need to say. We can gently, but assertively, speak our mind. We do not need to be judgmental, tactless, blaming or cruel when we speak our truths.”

― Melody Beattie

Related: How To Set Boundaries With Narcissistic Parents?

Codependency Quotes (2)

Letting Go of Controlling, Enabling, and Rescuing

“No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There’s only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to do it. And there’s only one time it will happen: When they decide they’re ready.”

― Lori Deschene

“Allowing others to suffer the consequences of their own actions, without enabling them, is the best motivation for them to undertake the difficult task of change.”

― Darlene Lancer

“I used to spend so much time reacting and responding to everyone else that my life had no direction. Other people’s lives, problems, and wants set the course for my life. Once I realized it was okay for me to think about and identify what I wanted, remarkable things began to take place in my life.”

― Melody Beattie

Read: Best 20 Must-Read Books On Codependency

“When we let go of our reactions and detach from other people’s moods, actions, and words, we take back our power. Instead of reactors, we become self-determined actors in our lives. We take charge of ourselves and decide how we act in that moment and every moment, skyrocketing our self-esteem”
― Darlene Lancer, Codependency for Dummies

“Even when I detach, I care. You can be separate from a thing and still care about it.”

David Levithan

“No more martyring myself.”

― Sharon E. Rainey

Related: How To Stop Caretaking? Best 9 Ways to Start Receiving More In Life & Relationships

codependency quotes

Self-Care, Self-Acceptance, and Self-Love

“Self-care is how you take your power back.”

― Lalah Delia

“Lighten up on yourself. No one is perfect. Gently accept your humanness.”

― Deborah Day

“Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time. Forgive yourself for giving away your power. Forgive yourself for past behaviors. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and traits you picked up while enduring trauma. Forgive yourself for being who you needed to be.”

Audrey Kitching

“Most of our suffering comes from resisting what is already here, particularly our feelings. All any feeling wants is to be welcomed, touched, allowed. It wants attention. It wants kindness. If you treated your feelings with as much love as you treated your dog or your cat or your child, you’d feel as if you were living in heaven every day of your sweet life.”

― Geneen Roth

“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad—and make changes as YOU see fit—not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”

― Stacey Charter

“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.”

Ernest Hemingway

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think were supposed to be and embracing who we are.”

― Brene Brown

Related: How To Start A Self Love Journey? Top 10 Powerful Ways to Love Yourself More

Get FREE Overcome Codependency Worksheets

Codependent No More Quotes

“Once they have been affected—once “it” sets in—codependency takes on a life of its own. It is similar to catching pneumonia or picking up a destructive habit. Once you’ve got it, you’ve got it. If you want to get rid of it, YOU have to do something to make it go away. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is. Your codependency becomes your problem; solving your problems is your responsibility.”

― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More

“Codependents are reactionaries. They overreact. They under-react. But rarely do they act. They react to the problems, pains, lives, and behaviors of others. They react to their own problems, pains, and behaviors.”

― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More

“Ever since people first existed, they have been doing all the things we label “codependent.” They have worried themselves sick about other people. They have tried to help in ways that didn’t help. They have said yes when they meant no. They have tried to make other people see things their way. They have bent over backwards avoiding hurting people’s feelings and, in so doing, have hurt themselves. They have been afraid to trust their feelings. They have believed lies and then felt betrayed. They have wanted to get even and punish others. They have felt so angry they wanted to kill. They have struggled for their rights while other people said they didn’t have any. They have worn sackcloth because they didn’t believe they deserved silk.”

― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More

 “Detachment is not a cold, hostile withdrawal; a resigned, despairing acceptance of anything life and people throw our way; a robotical walk through life oblivious to, and totally unaffected by people and problems; a Pollyanna-like ignorant bliss; a shirking of our true responsibilities to ourselves and others; a severing of our relationships. Nor is it a removal of our love and concern… Detachment is based on the premises that each person is responsible for himself, that we can’t solve problems that aren’t ours to solve, and that worrying doesn’t help. We adopt a policy of keeping our hands off other people’s responsibilities and tend to our own instead. If people have created some disasters for themselves, we allow them to face their own proverbial music. We allow people to be who they are. We give them the freedom to be responsible and to grow. And we give ourselves that same freedom. We live our own lives to the best of our ability. We strive to ascertain what it is we can change and what we cannot change. Then we stop trying to change things we can’t. We do what we can to solve a problem, and then we stop fretting and stewing. If we cannot solve a problem and we have done what we could, we learn to live with, or in spite of, that problem. And we try to live happily — focusing heroically on what is good in our lives today, and feeling grateful for that. We learn the magical lesson that making the most of what we have turns it into more.
Detachment involves “present moment living” — living in the here and now. We allow life to happen instead of forcing and trying to control it. We relinquish regrets over the past and fears about the future. We make the most of each day.”

― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More

Related: How To Break Controlling Behavior? Best 6 Ways to Let Go of Wanting to Control Everything

“We Are Lovable. Even if the most important person in your world rejects you, you are still real, and you are still okay.”

― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More

Codependency Resources

Blog Posts

Best 10 Relatable Codependency Blogs (+FREE Resources on Codependency)

How To Stop Love Addiction? Top 5 Proven Steps to Overcome Love Addiction

How to Heal Codependency and Savior Complex? Top 12 Strategies to Overcome Codependency For Good

How To Break Codependency Habits For Good? Top 13 Codependent Habits to Quit Today

Can A Codependent Relationship Be Saved? Top 7 Powerful Strategies That Will Break Codependency In A Relationship

EFT For Codependency: Simple 5 EFT Steps That Will Help You Break Free From Codependency


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STOP people pleasing Worksheets (1)
codependency quotes

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